Top 10 Worst Video Games of 2015

#10 Devil's Third (Wii U) (3/10)

'Devil's Turd' more like. This is thankfully a game that will be forgotten by almost everybody next year, which does have something to do with nobody even hearing anything about the game before its release, but mainly because this game has the quality to haunt the graveyard of failed games for eternity. The story is the centre of the problems, containing a protagonist that clearly isn't human and has no emotion to display at all. That thing you play has the inability to carry a coherent story, which doesn't help my interest levels in a game that sorely needed a good story for me to even bother with it. The poor story may be excusable if this game was fun to play, but this just isn't. At no point did I ever feel myself getting excited over this soulless piece of garbage, only caring at how sloppy the game feels to play. The Wii U controls just don't work with the style of this game, and to say the hardware looks dated would be a huge understatement. People have found time to praise the multiplayer, but for me that was still a disappointment that failed in comparison to other standard games of the genre.


I just dislike dumb action games, and this one was the dumbest I've played this year. There's no pacing in this game, only the repetitive aim to blindly shoot meaningless objects in the most monotonous way possible. Even the AI are as thick as pig shit and will happily blow themselves up whilst stumbling around the map as if they were purposely trying to irritate you. Just like the game itself, the AI just felt like a mindless inclusion with no real purpose, at times feeling like they came out of a cheap Arnold Schwarzenegger production. The same lacklustre approach to game design can be seen with the performance, which is just atrocious. The frame rate was non existent at times, and the whole look of the game resembles that of a genital wart. It's no surprise that this game didn't sell well in FPS friendly North America; so much so that the rarity of the game means you need to fork out a ridiculous amount of cash to even be within a chance of picking up this crap. Yes this is an exclusive title to own in the same way that the Elephant Man had an exclusive title. And who would pay good money for the Elephant Man of games this year?


#9 The Order: 1886 (PS4) (3/10)

Oh God, this was a huge disappointment. I was really looking forward to seeing an alternate setting in the often forgotten city of London. The idea that this fictional representation of London was going to be inhabited by these werewolf creatures looked a solid foundation to build a game off, so to say I was a little pissed off with how badly this was executed is an understatement. Realistically this is a game that will take you six hours to complete if you bother to do everything, which isn't really acceptable in a 'Triple A' release. There's no replay value either, so once that six hours has elapsed there is absolutely no reason why you would ever play through the game again. The story is just pointless and builds up some momentum to just throw away halfway through for no fucking reason; that's assuming of course that the momentum hadn't already been broken by the sheer amount of bloody cutscenes. But even outside of the bloody cutscenes the core shooting mechanics aren't very good either, giving this title the feeling of just another generic cover shooter. Now I understand why there is an emphasis on cinematic cutscenes, and that's to show off the beautiful world in the developers way rather than having the player actually explore the limited setting with the limited gameplay, discovering that the monsters just look like hairy murder victims.

As a player I was desperate to explore one of the prettiest worlds there has been in gaming for a while, but the developers just didn't let you. That was the thing that pissed me off the most, how detached the player felt to the game they were playing, at times feeling as if this was set in some sort of prison. If you're going to make an interactive movie then make one. Don't give the player a half assed game instead that looks quite nice but has the hidden surprise of six million cutscenes lurking around every mission. As a result this was one of the most linear experiences I played all year, and couple that with the ludicrously short campaign and you have a huge waste of money. I didn't pay for a full price game to feel that I was only wrestling with the developers for ownership of the title. I wanted this to be a game that let me play things my way and explore this setting to my heart's content; but no, instead I feltlike they tried to distract me with flashy graphics. 'The Order' turned out to be more of a tech demo than a serious game, so hopefully a sequel might work if they actually bothered next time.


#8 Pewdiepie: Legend of the Brofist (Mobile/PC) (3/10)

Oh no, not you. Just the concept of this man making a video game was enough to convince me that I would not enjoy this Youtuber's venture into gaming, and not surprisingly I didn't enjoy any of it. I honestly tried to keep an open mind, but as a human being who enjoys quality games and doesn't act like an easily amused seal I found this a mind numbing experience that should never be spoken of again. I understand that this game was built for a very specific target market that doesn't include me, but for an outsider there was nothing included that would interest me. I just don't care about this man's personal life, so why the hell would I enjoy a game based around that very thing? In all honesty this whole game just felt like a very expensive way to massage one man's ego with very little quality to show for. I only hoped the plot twist would be that the legend of the 'brofist' was actually aimed at this man's face.


I've heard that the mobile version of the game is just one big grind, but the PC version surprised me with just how standard the mechanics are for what is meant to be a serious game. The gameplay doesn't excite me, and fails to work half the time with its frustratingly difficult control scheme. The only reason you would pick the game up again is if you wanted to beat it again at a higher difficulty setting, but that would just lead to more frustration with the fiddly controls that just don't function in a boss battle where precision is key and there are no checkpoints. That's all there is to the game really; repetitive gameplay with the odd annoying predicament. The thing is that this game became the highest grossing game on the US app store just hours after release, which is amazing considering the sub standard quality of the final product. It turns out the 'PewDiePie' effect of promoting deliberately stupid games to make them successful also worked with the man's own creation. Sorry 'PewDiePie' but you need to learn when to fuck off.


#7 Alone in the Dark: Illumination (PC) (2/10)

I didn't even like the original 'Alone in the Dark' games, but even I'll admit that compared to this shambles they seem like the greatest games ever released. The kindest thing I can say about this new instalment is that the game appears to be incomplete. Calling it a half assed job would be more accurate, as at every moment this feels like a cut price title that had minimal effort put into its development. There isn't even a single player mode in this title, which is a bit of a lie considering that there is, but it's such a pointless inclusion that you just have to play online, which is also quite difficult considering nobody plays this pile of shit. I don't blame people; who would want to pay money towards one of the most generic multiplayer experiences of this generation that may have just passed quality control as an addon to an already popular game. The servers being dead even as early as the week of launch was all the evidence needed to prove what a catastrophic failure this title was, not providing a single person with any enjoyment. Still, nice continuity from the developers to literally give the player a feeling of being alone in the dark; or at least alone in the lobby.

The worst part about this game though was how it went about fitting into the action genre. I didn't think it was possible to fail at making an action game so badly, but in this one the mechanics are so atrocious that it almost fails at being a playable game. The AI are also a pile of shit, and the difficulty system, which makes the game just impossible when you begin, is just stupid in a survival game. The overall multiplayer system will piss you off within the hour if by some miracle you do find enough games to keep playing for that long, and when the game forces you to grind to achieve anything it's no wonder that so many gamers feel alienated by this stupid concept. This was a game that forgot about both the horror and action genres that the series was notable for and instead just settled for a below par action game, and a bloody poor one at that. I've seen this concept milked so many times before, so how this pile of shit was supposed to stand out is beyond me. All this is is a cheap 'Left For Dead' rip off with an infinitely worse control scheme and premise.



#6 Zombeer (PC/PS3) (2/10)

And the award for the most tasteless game of the year goes to this abomination. Whether you can call it a game or not is debatable, but what isn't up for debate is that the game isn't actually finished. No seriously, despite being on sale to the general public the story, which was shit anyway, just decides to cut out halfway through. At no point was it specified to the consumer that you were paying for half a game, making the developers of this thing money grabbing and misleading scumbags who don't deserve a second of your time. This fraudulent release wasn't even any good for the few hours where the game didn't decide to not let you play. The premise for example is the stupid concept that you can only avoid becoming a zombie in this fictional world by drinking beer. As a man who enjoys beer a lot I found this storyline to be in very poor taste, as I, and many of my beardy drinking friends will not have their favourite beverage ruined by some shitty games developer trying to make a quick buck out of a stupid idea.


As for quality, well there isn't any. I think this game would appeal to twelve year old boys who have no idea what the concept of 'maturity' is. If by some coincidence you don't know what 'adulthood' is then you'll have a hard time not cringing through every poorly timed joke this game tries desperately to make. It's painful to watch really, but thankfully the developers put you out of your misery quite quickly with the shortened length. In fact I'm sure this game was shorter than 'The Order', and I'm not sure scientists have discovered a measurement of time that small. Once you get past the supposedly humorous tone you get to a game with no passable gameplay elements at all. The combat is rubbish, the controls are rubbish, the story is rubbish, and the fact you have to drink beer every few seconds is just annoying. But it's okay because the developers have decided to distract you from that with zombie breasts. Hooray, I've been waiting all my life to see that unfunny anticlimax. I would say that was the best joke, but best wasn't really the right word to use in that context. Shame there was no decent gameplay for the player to escape from this failed comedy, and as a result this release was a total failure.


#5 Motorcycle Club (PC/PS3/PS4) (2/10)

For me the most irritating game of the year, not only because of how glitchy the whole thing is, but mainly because of how terrible it sounds. I'm not sure if my speakers have ever had to cope with a noise so disturbing before, and this was from bikes and not Piers Morgan or some of the screwed up shit I found in the dark corners of the Internet. Actually those weird videos were less offensive to me than this game, and you should see those videos. Never have I once had to turn the sound off of a game, but in this one I just had to. If there is a soundtrack included in the game then we can't here it, and instead it's an unbearable whine from what is apparently the noise a cunt signal makes, or a motorbike engine as they're more commonly known. Even the racing part didn't work, instead playing like a clunky pile of shit to take away any fun you were having, which wasn't much.

The unique features this game has aren't any good either. There's a feature that means you can switch with other riders on track, which you may think sounds fine until you actually experience the system for what a buggy mess it really is. All these bells and whistles only managed to emphasise what a tumour of a racing game this is. In all honesty I thought the game was a free roam experience initially because that's how little guidance or purpose the developers gave this crap. If the purpose was just to have fun then the developers need to take a long hard look at their product, because even as a person who loves racing games I was personally insulted by a result that even a 90's arcade machine would be embarrassed to play.


#4 Rugby World Cup 2015 (PC/PS3/PS4/Vita/X360/XONE) (2/10)

How the hell did a game this broken ever get released? Oh yes, money. I understand that game developers would want to cash in on a huge sporting event like the 2015 Rugby World Cup, but there's no excuse for such a shoddy release, even if the production was at the last minute. I didn't expect this to be a polished sports game, but I at least wanted the feeling that I was controlling the players on the screen, and not pointlessly pressing buttons to uncover yet another glitch. Even if you aren't getting frustrated with the lack of communication between the controller and screen, you'll be vomiting at the turdish visuals that are modelled on cheap rip offs of real places and players as the game isn't even properly licensed. In reality the game should be called 'Half of The 2015 Rugby World Cup'. This game however thinks it's acceptable to have fake players stumbling around the screen in idiotic fashion. The AI in this game is seriously one of the worst I've ever played with, or tried to at least, as nobody knows the fucking rules. I'm not sure the developers ever watched a single game of rugby before making this, as the bots don't seem to have a clue about the rules either.

But the thing I hate the most is that nobody appeared to care about the game of rugby or the historic sporting event in question when making this game. This was a game to make a good bit of money, and the result is that every element of the game feels like an afterthought. In a rugby game that's supposed to be realistic I don't expect to be able to run from one end of the pitch to the other without being tackled. If I was a rugby fan I would be insulted by just how badly the sport I love has been desecrated here, and the developers should be ashamed of themselves for not even releasing a product that can function. I'm glad this failed, as the result is like a limping dog that needs to be put to sleep.


#3 Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 (PS3/PS4/X360/XONE) (2/10)

Somehow I don't think this is the way to revive a franchise. Obviously the developers thought they could skip the quality aspects of the game and sell this product entirely on nostalgia. The results are a boring skating game, which I didn't think was actually possible, but the missions and environment in this are so dull and lifeless that even watching yobbos in the town centre being a public nuisance would be more entertaining than this crap. The simplicity and solid mechanics of the originals are no more, and instead we get a generic sports game that doesn't excite you or feel satisfying to play anymore. Chiefly that's because of the sheer number of glitches that plague the game and prevent the player from having a good time, which is also assuming it's playable considering the frame rate loves to jump round all over the place. This just shouldn't happen in such a legendary series, but in both concept and performance this was such a letdown.

As in the previous sports game on this list there was that recurring feeling that everything was done to an average level and that was that. Nobody put any of their passion for gaming in this, only selling their souls to the consumerist market. This is a game that doesn't want you to explore the landscape or have a great time with enjoyable elements, and instead makes a game considerably worse than the 1999 original. When comparing the original and this game the difference in quality is astronomical, with this newer version taking much loved and simple to implement features away for whatever reason. This failure is inexcusable really, and should not be what modern consoles should be about. This latest generation of games should be pushing the boundaries and not just accepting a mediocre product because it will still sell well. Admittedly the developers of this game have released a 7 gigabyte patch to combat the many technical issues, which does show they care, but I don't think a patch that large is acceptable for such a simple game with such a big reputation.


#2 Godzilla (PS3/PS4) (1/10)

Yes I have always wanted to play a Godzilla game on the current generation of consoles, but unfortunately not one that bores me out of my mind by making me do the same mission over and over again. Essentially all there is to this game is lumbering around a bit only to throw some very slow punches at an object until it blows up with the same animation as everything else, which are so poor that they look like they were from an old PS2 game. If this repetitive gameplay is meant to make the Godzilla game feel like the classic films then why the hell would you put that shitty design into a game when the two mediums are obviously different? I couldn't quite believe that I was playing a PS4 game, and that's mainly because this game is just a PS3 port from Japan, but that's no excuse for a presentation that's so poor that you'd complain if the game came out of a cereal packet.

As for the actual gameplay, well I wasn't sure what the game was aiming to be. One minute it wants to be a serious fighting game, and the next it wants to be an adrenaline pumping action game. The end result is that the criteria for neither genre is met, mainly because of how fucking slow the whole game is, and so the result ends up being this game caught in the mediocrity of the middle ground. The most basic of mistakes are made for a game like this. This 'triple A' release has no block button, no thrills thanks to the snails pace combat, and controls that don't work. In a game that relies on an element of precision it's just suicidal not to have a block button and the only way to turn the monster is with the triggers. These flaws might be forgivable on a small budget, but this was a big release in a historic franchise, so how do you fuck everything up so badly?



#1 Steel Rivals (PC) (0/10)

Well this pile of horse shit had to get number one. Fighting games are simple things to get right even with a small budget, so when a fighting game manages to have not a single noteworthy feature then you know something has gone horribly wrong. 'Steel Rivals' manages to achieve nothing to an acceptable standard, which I suppose was predictable considering that the fifth 'feature' this game has in the description is how the game has a leaderboard. Wow. Admittedly that leaderboard works unlike the rest of the game which is filled with fundamental errors that even a two year old child could have spotted. The camera for example is at a fixed position far too close to the fighters, giving the player no perspective. The controls didn't work for a game like this and only responded half the time, as was such with the block button which is just broken. And as for the choice of characters, well that was just pathetic; it came down to a choice of the most generic characters you could possibly imagine with similar moves to everyone else. All the game consists of is finding a move that you can endlessly spam, and that's it. It's like nobody told the developers that games were supposed to be fun. 


'Steel Rivals' isn't fun, 'Steel Rivals' barely functions on the most basic of levels. If you want to control your character with precision that you're out of luck considering the controls don't allow you to jump normally, or attack normally, or even move normally without fucking everything up. This game is a nightmare to play, and in an experience that may revolve around dodging projectiles that's just stupidity. I could go on with the flaws, but just trust me, this game is just full of faults and is an embarrassment to the fighting genre. All this game consists of is technical abominations set to some of the most off putting music they could have put together, realistically meaning the only people that would have the patience to stick with this game without planting a right hand through the screen would be a saint; but even then that's debatable. I've honestly never played a game that felt like its sole existence was to piss you off, but somehow this turd of a release managed it. What a shit game.