TuckFrump

I suppose it was expected that a controversial figure like Donald Trump would be a source of criticism from various political groups, but this is genuinely the response from one of those groups offended by his policies. Apparently they forget about the principles of democracy and how America has thrived off of free speech, only using that as an excuse to broadcast their biased rhetoric. But let's at least give these perpetual idiots a chance to produce a good argument. Let's see what they have to say that warrants the censorship of Donald Trump.

1. What a great idea it is to force your own political agenda onto a small child. I'm sure that kid under the voting age has a broad political insight, so what a great cornerstone of your argument. Better yet let's get the kid to have an expletive filled rant. Which group is meant to be the assholes here? I'm struggling to tell.
2. Apparently calling breastfeeding mums 'disgusting' is ignorant. However criticising a man for reciprocating the views of many conservative Americans somehow isn't ignorant; but I forget that's not how this blatant propaganda works. How dare Donald Trump have a strong opinion on a divisive issue that differs to this group; what a fucking pig. The actual reasons why Trump should conform to this group's view is even worse; just because something is natural doesn't mean it should be supported. Rape and incest are also natural constructs, yet does that mean Trump should support that as well. I'm a supporter that women should be able to breastfeed in public within reason, yet Trump just isn't being rude when he disagrees, and is perfectly entitled to an opinion that differs from these entitled pricks. I haven't even mentioned how all this controversy is over an ALLEGATION, and even then that's one example. But no, it's now apparently factual that Donald Trump hates ALL breastfeeding women. Who's supposed to be the ignorant one again?
3. Here we go again. Just because Donald Trump said some things deemed racist he's obviously the same as Adolf Hitler. Fuck any sort of context or logic, because of course it's clear that Trump's policies are fuelled by eugenics. Saying Donald Trump is like Adolf Hitler is a bit like saying all Muslims are Osama Bin Laden, which is exactly a point made in this video; fucking hypocrites. Oh and Trump never said he wanted a 'Muslim database'. Rather it was Trumps inability to comment on a question based around this topic that started the smear campaign.
4. Yes Trump has made some disparaging comments about marriage equality, which again he is fully entitled to. But obviously because everything offends these morons they want to censor anyone with strong opinions that differs to theirs despite not giving you the whole story. Trump's opinions on homosexuals aren't as black and white as this campaign makes out, and actually Trump has historically supported homosexual couples. There's even evidence to suggest that this is the same story for his 2015 campaign, which in comparison is far less controversial on the issue than the other Republican candidates. But no, it's Trump that's the problem.
5. Oh no, he insulted you. Boo-fucking-hoo. I might be able to take your outrage seriously if you could counter with an intellectual point to try and disprove the argument, but no, because of course feelings are more important than facts.
6. Trump called Japanese people 'Japs'. What the fuck is the world coming to? Next you'll be telling me he'll be doing something as disgusting as calling British people 'Brits'. What a vile human being.
7. Have you ever considered providing any sources for your claims? Probably best not in case educated people try and look up your ludicrous claims.
8. Trump made fun out of fat people in America? I can safely say that nobody else in the world makes this stereotypical joke about Americans. Literally never hear it; ever.
9. We keep taking quotes out of context don't we. Maybe you would like it if Trump did actually say he thought all Mexicans were rapists, but let's actually consider the full quote. "When Mexico sends its people they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you; they’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists, and some, I assume, are good people. But I speak to border guards and they tell us what we’re getting.” Turns out Trump didn't say anything of the sort.
10. A hair joke. Is that honestly the best you could come up with? I might be able to take that joke a little more seriously if you didn't have fucking Leo Sayer promoting your campaign.

I'm not even American, but I would happily vote for Trump to spite these people after watching such absolute bullshit. I'm sure some people who oppose trump actually have strong points and don't just fabricate the truth and jump to conclusions when the reality is entirely different, but unfortunately this video forgot about them. Just because somebody has strong opinions that aren't yours doesn't mean they should be instantly chastised, especially when that criticism comes in the form of whinging and claiming that you're somehow the victim in all this. If self entitled hypocrites like this continue to gain popularity then the only victim will be the free speech of America. And mark my words that would be far worse than Trump becoming president.

Top 10 Films of 2015

#10 Ex Machina (8/10)

I often consider '2001: A Space Odyssey' to be the greatest piece of cinema in history, and 'Ex Machina' has been one of only a few films since to give me that same sense of intrigue that you got with the Stanley Kubrick masterpiece. 'Ex Machina' is a futuristic and sophisticated film that has a debate over technology at the fore, only this sci-fi film has the advantage over classics in the genre of being broadcast to an audience who are much more technologically advanced. Even so, this is a very technical film that focuses on the personalities inside the technology rather than just some raw mechanisms, and this is a far greater mechanic in film to question the place of technology in society. I thought this film nailed this concept, and credit goes to the talented cast who were fully believable and allowed me to immerse myself in a simple world filled with complex technology. The only way this film could alienate you is if you go into the theatre with the ignorant attitude that this will be a generic action film, when the reality is that this is a complex piece of art with much more going on than first meets the eye.

'Ex Machina' was the very impressive directing debut of Alex Garland, who used his experience of impressive screenplays in films such as '28 Days Later' to full effect. As a result this is a film that feels nothing like a mere 15 million dollar production, and in my opinion looked far more appealing than the new 'Star Wars' film that had tonnes more cash thrown towards the visuals. Sure 'Ex Machina' has the advantage of a simple setting, but that's all it needs to work. The polished production though is just the icing on the cake over what is a very solid premise that on occasion did give me a buzz of excitement. That's a tough skill to pull off in a film primarily designed to make you think, but I found myself regularly revelling in a plot that was designed to both raise hairs and ask you questions that will conflict with your own personal beliefs. I'll admit the methodical pace might not be for everyone to enjoy, but stick with it and you'll get some tense moments stemming from a simple yet deep subject. This is a film for those that recognise the artistry behind modern cinema, and as such this was one of the standout films of the year. 


#9 Mad Max: Fury Road (8/10)

If you're going to make a film that goes down the road of focusing on high action sequences, which a lot of films do these days, then this is how you should go about doing it. This latest 'Mad Max' film was full of big explosions and loud chase sequences, putting some extra meat onto an already sumptuous plot that always came first in the premise. The overall product is an almost perfect fusion of action and western elements that ended up highlighting the positives in both genres, yet still becoming easily accessible for modern audiences. That's quite a neat trick to pull off, and I can understand why critics were so highly positive of the film. Here under the disguise of a blockbuster action flick we have a surprisingly complex plot with a surprising amount of raw emotion thrown in. You could say that was keeping with the classic 'Mad Max' formula, and you may have a point, but this film never feels copied or rehashed. Instead this film is obscene, extravagant, and absolutely charmless; but that's why it's been so successful. I never thought I would see the day a man in a car chase decides to whack out his flame powered guitar, but thanks to this film I've now lived long enough to see what was one of the greatest spectacles in cinema history.

Tom Hardy puts in a fine performance in the lead role despite not actually doing that much, but his role screams 'blockbuster' in every scene, and you will find many iconic moments littered throughout what I expected to be a far more standard performance. Even supporting actress Charlize Theron puts in a great performance, arguably superseding Hardy's performance with her far more transcendent role. It's not the most intellectual film you'll see all year, but as a spectacle this was in a class of one, which sounds strange considering that this title was in development hell ever since it was deemed too 'politically insensitive' to be released during the Iraq War. Even when principal filming had finished the 480 minutes of footage took three months just to analyse, followed by the sheer amount of special effects needed. In all honesty it's a miracle that not only was the resulting film polished, but one that also became a big box office success. Many critics have claimed that this is one of the greatest action movies of all time, and although I'm not convinced it's that good, I will say that this is an exciting and quality film nonetheless.


#8 Carol (8/10)

According to many this was the best film of the year, and I can see where they're coming from. This is certainly a film worthy of high praise, but for me the overall experience was only good, and had a long way to go before being considered the greatest of 2015. The overall setting was a weird love triangle with a lot of lesbianism thrown in, which is fine by me, as was the casting, which saw Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara produce two performances that were great when mixed together. Their roles were just what was needed to accurately translate what was originally a controversial novel set around a shocking scandal, but that part was never shoved down your throat, and instead the focus was on the individual characters who are deeply affected by their scandalous behaviour. 'Carol' was a film with real subtlety and vigour, as such becoming one of the more emotionally invested films of the year, and one that handled mature subjects with the seriousness and grace that they required.

This excellent piece of cinema was the result of eleven years of development, with the end result being one of beauty and elegance. I'd say the overall experience was a satisfying one, and the overall feel was very similar to that of 'Brokeback Mountain', although the latter film is less mature and made with a commercial audience in mind. 'Carol' in contrast relies on the sublime ambiance and cinematography to convey a strong sense of passion within the plot, and it's because of this element that I can understand why critics were so quick to praise what many thought was a perfect film. I would say that this was a timely piece, exploiting the growing acceptance of homosexual relationships in art, but beyond that there is an immense level of artistry and passion that went into this creation that leaves an overall special feeling. I can understand why this is the highest rated film of the year on 'Metacritic', but presumably other audience members see things in it that I don't.


#7 The Walk (8/10)

It's not particularly hard to create an interesting story around the extraordinary life of Phillipe Petite, and as a personal fan of his unbelievable tightrope feat above the Twin Towers a story with him involved is always going to be compelling. Take 'The Walk' for example. This is a film that has the same fascinating story to drive the plot whilst also adding some of the most pleasing visuals I've ever experienced. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is entirely believable in his lead role as Petite, and you can genuinely believe he shares the same passion for daredevil stunts that the actual character does, but it's always overshadowed by just how good this film feels. This is what 3D films were made for. The sheer immersion from the visuals alone is staggering, and some of the shots used are just awe inspiring. The actual walk itself as a climax is such an adrenaline rushing moment that it opposes the dialogue driven opening segments in such a way that you just have to experience this fantastic climax in the moment. The tension in that walk alone is almost a surreal feat considering that this is a documentary, and for a film that tells a well known story, this is one of the few that actually put you in the position of the protagonist, and in a biopic praise doesn't get higher than that.


#6 The Revenant (8/10)

In all honesty this is a movie that will survive throughout history solely due to Leonardo DiCaprio's quite extraordinary Oscar worthy performance. The extent that DiCaprio goes to in order to tell the incredible survival story of Hugh Glass is just stunning. The various stories plastered all over the Internet describing the ordeal that DiCaprio went through is totally believable and a sign of the commitment this man had to what may just be his finest ever role. Unfortunately for Tom Hardy, who is also in fine form in the supporting role, his part is completely muted by just how good DiCaprio is, and in truth so is the whole cast in an overall very well acted film. I was always one of those people that didn't think Leonardo DiCaprio deserved an Oscar, but after having watched 'The Revenant' there is no doubt his performance here is one of the all time greats. 

Once you get past the role of DiCaprio you get to a film that you will often presume is just trying to be 'Oscar fodder', but I don't really care about the over-the-top nature as the visual presentation is just stunning. There's some amazing shots of the harsh wilderness and the natural world, only serving to further the idea of just how brutal the Hugh Glass story really is. As a film this was as gritty and realistic as I like in an action film, and I'm glad the Hollywood cliches don't overpower what is a story heavily embedded in history. To say there aren't any of those cliches would be a lie, and there's also some big problems with the narrative, as it has an ending that doesn't make sense and some weird pacing that means the film runs out of steam by the end, but aside from those issues this is an excellent piece of cinema with some outstanding performances within.


#5 Spotlight (8/10)

I wasn't aware a film about journalism and child molestation could be as gripping as this, but this surprise hit proved me completely wrong. 'Spotlight' is a mature and sophisticated film that handles pressing issues in a unique way that understandably put many audience members off. However for me this was a film that gave me a genuinely insightful view into the realistically depicted world of journalism without glorifying any characters for the sake of cinema. This film understood that it was showing the audience history changing events, and as such treated the issues seriously as if the audience were adults and were genuinely intrigued by the subject matter. The inner workings of the plot are complex enough to thoroughly rinse your mind of any predetermined thoughts, which is a good thing, as on the face of things the plot can become a little narrow in places with a lack of raw content; but as long as this film kept asking questions it never got dull.

'Spotlight' was a film that gave me the unique stories of multiple characters in their full, fleshed out glory. You get the sense of why each character is tied into the narrative, and each story is given equal amplification in a film that tries to avoid taking sides in such a controversial case. I applaud the directors and cast for keeping with this style of narrative, as the serious tone is one that can accurately show the emotional feelings of the entire cast who all do a great job with their respective characters. This is a film that's touching, thoughtful, vile, and realistic, with a huge emphasis on immersion of the audience. I'm not convinced this deserves to be given a 'Best Picture Oscar', but this is an overall extremely well made docudrama.


#4 Bone Tomahawk (8/10)

Of all the films that I thought were going to revive the western genre, it certainly wasn't this film that I expected to achieve that. 'Bone Tomahawk' was a film with a unique blend of western and horror that combined to create a quite sophisticated, yet primarily exhilarating film. But don't think this small budget film was full of cheap and pointless thrills, because this had a lot of realism despite being totally fictional, and actually became more believable than the majority of factual films this year. 'Bone Tomahawk' had an authentic sheen that it never lost despite containing some of the most unorthodox villains this year. At the centre was the harsh reality of the Old West that never felt like it was forced down the viewer's throat, instead relying on the contrast between the mundane of life in the past with intense action sequences to make the thrills and characters a million times better.

The real highlight however was the ensemble cast, who were just great together. With these characters you really did get the sense that the film was set in a small tightly knit community, and these relationships were interesting to explore and elaborate on despite still being centred around that idea of realism. In such a dull setting it was so nice to see some of the most extravagant plot points this year, and by that I mean the gruesome death scene that comes out of absolutely nowhere. It's a disturbing yet brilliant piece of cinema that only improved a solid and gritty plot. Again, realism was at the centre of that scene, and that's what made it all the more horrifying. I love a brutal and visceral film that feels plausible at every stage, and when you combine this with a solid premise and a well paced film you get an experience that ramps up the intensity exponentially. I had my doubts when first picking this one up, but wow did this film blow me away beyond all expectations.



#3 Jurassic World (8/10)

'Jurassic World' was the blockbuster of the year. Now I don't particularly like the idea of a film being a slave to the commercial market, as that often leads to the removal of fundamental elements just to make the film more inclusive, but in 'Jurassic World' I felt the quality wasn't ruined by pandering to more people, despite the fact that this production was obviously meant to sell big. Okay it's not the most intelligent film of all time, or intelligent for the franchise even, but who honestly cares about what's realistic in a science fiction film that looks this damn good. I'm a scholar in a course that includes prehistoric biology, but I didn't give a flying fuck about the dimensions of the dinosaurs included, because I'm aware that this is a work of fiction, and should always be treated as such. It may not be as good as the original 'Jurassic Park' in terms of fictional tales, but for the first time since that groundbreaking film was released I got the same goosebumps I always did when you ended up getting a look at some of these epically made creations.

I also didn't find any fundamental problems with this film. The cast were perfectly acceptable, and actually went beyond my expectations. Chris Pratt is a cool and nerdy guy who does what's needed in the lead role, and the kids aren't even annoying, which is nothing short of a miracle in a big blockbuster like this one. I still think the overall spectacle was inferior to that of the original, but this newer version never gives up on the dinosaurs and almost always quite rightfully has them as the focus; and that's good in a film where the characters can end up looking a bit bland in comparison. No 'Jurassic World' didn't bring anything new to the table, and there are parts filled with cliched nonsense that frustrated me, but as a film this was about the most entertainment you could possibly squeeze out of a few hours. This film looks the part and travels at such a rapid pace that you can't help but sit on the edge of your seat almost all the way through, looking at some creations that will make any human say 'holy shit'. To me this is what modern cinema is all about, and in a classic homage to the Steven Spielberg style of film, this one pulled it off in style.


#2 Sicario (9/10)

Well this was one of the most intense films this year. 'Sicario' literally means 'hitman' in Mexico, so I was expecting something action orientated, but nothing compared to how graphic and thrilling the final product turned out to be. The cast in particular put on a stellar show, especially Benicio Del Toro who was the dark role that this film desperately deserved. His character fits into the narrative perfectly, which I wish I could say for leading actress Emily Blunt who never quite fully fits into that FBI role as well as she should. I certainly blame the casting for failing at finding the correct person for a role that should be believable, but at least Blunt doesn't become an absurd character that doesn't contribute to the film despite being so one dimensional, at least making the film entertaining, and I guess in any other thriller I'm sure she would have flourished. I suppose it's in the style of the film that the main role becomes lost in the greater concept of conflict, which is always the central focus of any good war film.

I would say that 'Sicario' throws the theme of conflict around a lot more haphazardly than many of its contemporaries, but it's not a thoughtless production and actually requires a little bit of thought to truly enjoy the whole narrative. When this film does do things right though, they properly hit the mark. 'Sicario' has some of the best cinematography and music I've seen and heard all year, which is an extremely powerful mechanism in a plot that sometimes becomes hard to relate to. Maybe it's because of my ignorance on the Mexican Drug War, but I can safely say that no cinematic experience has ever brought a current conflict so vividly to life. This was an experience were I felt I was a part of this ongoing conflict, and some of the merciless mental images produced by this work are sickening to say the least. This is a graphic production that never feels predictable or gimmicky, and its impactful nature deserves a lot of respect with its depictions of conflicts in relation to global warfare. In essence the film portrays the narrative as a trivial part of a global issue, and that's such a great mechanism for any good war film.


#1 Bridge of Spies (9/10)

Thank you Steven Spielberg. Thank you for making what appeared on paper to be one of the duller parts of the Cold War into one of the most interesting and gripping films I've watched this year. When the powerhouse combination of Spielberg and Tom Hanks come together you just know the results will be good, but what I didn't expect was a historical production that managed to be insightful and intriguing throughout the whole duration. My expectations of 'Bridge of Spies' were that this wouldn't be a film that would leave me on the edge of my seat, but thanks to brilliant performances by the whole cast that's exactly what happened. Hanks in particular plays such a good leading role and his charisma shines above the whole cast. It's a memorable performance that deserves an Oscar, as does the work of Spielberg who once again masterfully recreates his version of history with every little detail being meticulously thought through and refined. The result is a film that flows perfectly from scene to scene, making a fascinating tale out of a forgotten event in history.

Okay there are still a few Hollywood cliches lying around to let you know that this is a commercial film, but at the heart of everything there is that passion for history that Spielberg loves to tell. I do question the roles of the Russians being portrayed as solely evil warmongering bastards, but that's a small detail to overlook from an overall very polished narrative. The styling as well deserves special praise, because at every stage the film feels like a product of its time. There are many classic elements used that scream of 1950's cinema, and I like that the film forgets about high action and explosive scenes, and instead focuses on sophistication and coherence. The script was masterfully written, brilliantly fleshing out each character into the elegant plot, which was paced really nicely for an overall positive experience. It's amazing to think that this film was made for only 40 million dollars, which is further proof that when it comes down to historical films Spielberg can turn a simple idea into one of the most interesting anecdotes and a top notch film with very little resources. 

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Review

As a big 'Star Wars' fan I just had to review this one. This is undoubtedly the biggest film released in the past decade, and its huge success at the box office is proof that me and many others were greatly anticipating more 'Star Wars' action in a setting previously unexplored by the previous films. This was a fresh new era for 'Star Wars' with acclaimed director J.J. Abrams taking the helm from the legendary George Lucas. But is this new 'Star Wars' deserving of the box office records its smashed and the praise it gained almost unanimously from critics? Well that's a question that's very much debatable. This review will contain a lot of spoilers, so don't say you haven't been warned.

Certainly the whole 'Star Wars' style of presentation is included. The money spent on the film was used effectively, just like we all knew it would be, and this new lick of paint gives the 'Star Wars' universe a sumptuous feel that you always dreamt the films would look like in your childhood dreams. The new galaxy is visually exciting and full of vivid life forms that only expand on the already huge world of 'Star Wars', and this world has even been populated by a new cast that strangely for a 'Star Wars' film put in some good performances. This new babyfaced cast surprised me with their genuinely good standard of acting, and the diverse cast all pulled their weight even if some of the personalities aren't as iconic as a 'Star Wars' mainstay should be. Included in this new film is Princess Leia's grandmother, a female clone of Anakin Skywalker, and a hormonal teenager playing a Sith Lord. A cast that diverse is bound to tell an exciting story, but I can't help but feel Daisy Ridley and John Boyega were rather underwhelming in their respective starring roles. They both put in believable performances, yet never feel like they belong in such an epic adventure like the cast of the original films did. Ridley in particular was a character who seemed to be able to do everything instantly, but never excelled at any of these roles. I feel her character wasn't helped by having almost no time to be developed, and her apparently grand journey was paced awfully, ending up with her in a central focus that she really doesn't deserve at this point in the trilogy. When you compare this pacing to the tale of Luke Skywalker it becomes clear that on this leading path Ridley's character does not have what it takes to be a legend of the 'Star Wars' franchise. Luke never fucked over a Sith after just one film; his journey was spread out over three films, yet I'm supposed to believe that Ridley's overnight success is plausible. Okay Ridley's character is helped along by legends of the franchise, but even a character as legendary as Han Solo can't carry Ridley into the limelight after such a short time.

I'm sorry, you two just aren't charismatic enough to be truly memorable characters, yet alone the heroes one of the biggest movies of all time.

Abrams' mistakes continue when you consider the plot of this new film. I imagine Abrams took a look at the fourth film in the franchise, and then put the script of that film through a photocopier. Abrams kept the part where a droid that contains important information falls into the hands of an unlikely hero who then gets captured and people try and rescue her from the enemy. He also kept the setting on a desert planet that has problems with poverty, and how the journey on this planet is sidetracked with the meeting of two smugglers, and also the part where the heroes blow up a huge planet sized ship owned by a totalitarian regime hellbent on destruction thanks to their new superweapon. In truth Abrams just blatantly copied the plot from the fourth film, which isn't really acceptable when this film takes place just thirty years after the original trilogy's galaxy changing events. Come on Abrams, do you genuinely expect me to believe that this new 'evil empire' would build another planet destroying ship thirty years after the last two were destroyed in almost identical fashion? It's all very well showing that history is repeated, but when the repetition is so implausible the plot becomes a predictable and dumb affair.

What amazed me is that this planet destroying ship being blown up wasn't actually part of the main plot, which was the more menial task of finding Luke Skywalker in order for him to do fuck all. Unlike the originals there didn't seem to be any purpose to this menacing ship, only providing a method for Abrams to show off those nice effects and fast paced action sequences as if he got Michael Bay to write the script. I accept that many 'Star Wars' films contain plot points that hinge on an unbelievable coincidence, but in this film I felt these coincidences became more noticeable and overshadowed an overall less meaningful and lazy plot. Abrams just lets the viewer assume key details without expanding on the already rich 'Star Wars' experience, and that's annoying in a franchise where there is almost a limitless possibility of places to take the plot. I can't help but feel that Abrams just played it safe to appease the majority of fans, and for me that's not what the wonder of 'Star Wars' should be about, and actually places the film in the territories of the more generic action flick.

 Was this a scene from four or seven? See, it's really hard to tell, and that's the primary problem with the plot; nothing stands out as original or fresh.

The overall script was another recurring problem that I found far too predictable and samey for what could have been an epic film. Even the prequels had a larger emphasis on building up tension and keeping the audience guessing despite having the disadvantage of being set before the original storyline; but at least George Lucas tried to experiment and mix things up. In this new episode I felt that Abrams forced the viewer to fill in the gaps themselves rather than give any explanation or purpose to the settings and events of his film. The scene pictured above for example is when this Third Reich style faction decide to blow up a whole system of planets for apparently no reason at all. Is this a huge event in the 'Star Wars' storyline? Yes, so why doesn't Abrams get the viewer to care about these things? For all we know this could have been accidental after the 'First Order' got bored on a Sunday, but even in the world of cartoon violence that 'Star Wars' is famed for this event was dreadfully executed. Another gap that was left for us to fill in despite having adequate airtime was that huge Sith thing, who on the face of things is like nothing we've ever seen in the series before. But guess what, thanks to poor scripting the viewer is left with a seemingly pointless character that's hard to even care about with so little context given. I really liked some of the new inclusions in this expanded universe, so why the hell didn't Abrams show off these new elaborate constructs like any other great artist would?

 Who the hell are you? Even The Emperor had more of a description in the fifth film, and he was barely even in it.

Once you get past the flimsy story you can at least respect the action sequences for their occasional moments of brilliance. I do admire Abrams for trying to inject some energy into the franchise in a far better way than George Lucas ever did in his prequels, and although this change of direction isn't going to please every 'Star Wars' fan, it is at least a surefire way to make sure the franchise becomes successfull with modern audiences. Sometimes the tendency to overindulge certain action sequences did alienate the lifelong fan inside me, but maybe these increasingly mature scenes are the change that 'Star Wars' needs to push it away from simply trivialising full scale intergalactic conflicts. I still would have liked to have seen the fun that made the original 'Star Wars' films so brilliant to watch, and by that I mean choreograph a better lightsaber battle, as the one in this film was piss poor. It's all very well putting all that extra effort into cool looking lightsabers, but then to ruin that on what was a battle filled with amateurs is inexcusable. I'm sure this will be addressed in the next film, but don't feel the need to try and force these classic scenes into a 'Star Wars' film when they're not required. A two minute lightsaber battle at a snails pace was not what anyone ordered, and this all goes back to my criticisms of Abrams just playing it safe and not trying to experiment with where he wants the series to be taken.

Underwhelming and very short. No it wasn't my sex life, but this pointless lightsaber battle.

Overall I have to say that this new film was not at level I expected after reading such positive reviews beforehand. This was never going to be as bad as the horror show that started off the prequels, and for that we can be thankful, but even the prequels had much greater climaxes and a lot more innovation in their production. This new film was a fast paced affair, and I enjoyed watching almost all of it, but to say there wasn't that overriding feeling of disappointment would be lying. I don't hate this film at all, and people that are directly comparing this film to the originals are obviously going to be underwhelmed, but this was a film that brought 'Star Wars' into a modern era, and you have to say that it does cater to a modern audience very well. In terms of quality though, this is just average for a 'Star Wars' film, and I even thought the third film was better overall. The third film never felt like another version of old 'Star Wars' content, and all we got with this new one was some rehashed graphics and an updated presentation. That's all fine, but there was always that 'Star Wars magic' in the originals, and despite being a good film this new episode is a culprit of forgetting about that 'magic' for most of its duration.

Final Score: 7/10   ***1/2

Top 10 Worst Video Games of 2015

#10 Devil's Third (Wii U) (3/10)

'Devil's Turd' more like. This is thankfully a game that will be forgotten by almost everybody next year, which does have something to do with nobody even hearing anything about the game before its release, but mainly because this game has the quality to haunt the graveyard of failed games for eternity. The story is the centre of the problems, containing a protagonist that clearly isn't human and has no emotion to display at all. That thing you play has the inability to carry a coherent story, which doesn't help my interest levels in a game that sorely needed a good story for me to even bother with it. The poor story may be excusable if this game was fun to play, but this just isn't. At no point did I ever feel myself getting excited over this soulless piece of garbage, only caring at how sloppy the game feels to play. The Wii U controls just don't work with the style of this game, and to say the hardware looks dated would be a huge understatement. People have found time to praise the multiplayer, but for me that was still a disappointment that failed in comparison to other standard games of the genre.


I just dislike dumb action games, and this one was the dumbest I've played this year. There's no pacing in this game, only the repetitive aim to blindly shoot meaningless objects in the most monotonous way possible. Even the AI are as thick as pig shit and will happily blow themselves up whilst stumbling around the map as if they were purposely trying to irritate you. Just like the game itself, the AI just felt like a mindless inclusion with no real purpose, at times feeling like they came out of a cheap Arnold Schwarzenegger production. The same lacklustre approach to game design can be seen with the performance, which is just atrocious. The frame rate was non existent at times, and the whole look of the game resembles that of a genital wart. It's no surprise that this game didn't sell well in FPS friendly North America; so much so that the rarity of the game means you need to fork out a ridiculous amount of cash to even be within a chance of picking up this crap. Yes this is an exclusive title to own in the same way that the Elephant Man had an exclusive title. And who would pay good money for the Elephant Man of games this year?


#9 The Order: 1886 (PS4) (3/10)

Oh God, this was a huge disappointment. I was really looking forward to seeing an alternate setting in the often forgotten city of London. The idea that this fictional representation of London was going to be inhabited by these werewolf creatures looked a solid foundation to build a game off, so to say I was a little pissed off with how badly this was executed is an understatement. Realistically this is a game that will take you six hours to complete if you bother to do everything, which isn't really acceptable in a 'Triple A' release. There's no replay value either, so once that six hours has elapsed there is absolutely no reason why you would ever play through the game again. The story is just pointless and builds up some momentum to just throw away halfway through for no fucking reason; that's assuming of course that the momentum hadn't already been broken by the sheer amount of bloody cutscenes. But even outside of the bloody cutscenes the core shooting mechanics aren't very good either, giving this title the feeling of just another generic cover shooter. Now I understand why there is an emphasis on cinematic cutscenes, and that's to show off the beautiful world in the developers way rather than having the player actually explore the limited setting with the limited gameplay, discovering that the monsters just look like hairy murder victims.

As a player I was desperate to explore one of the prettiest worlds there has been in gaming for a while, but the developers just didn't let you. That was the thing that pissed me off the most, how detached the player felt to the game they were playing, at times feeling as if this was set in some sort of prison. If you're going to make an interactive movie then make one. Don't give the player a half assed game instead that looks quite nice but has the hidden surprise of six million cutscenes lurking around every mission. As a result this was one of the most linear experiences I played all year, and couple that with the ludicrously short campaign and you have a huge waste of money. I didn't pay for a full price game to feel that I was only wrestling with the developers for ownership of the title. I wanted this to be a game that let me play things my way and explore this setting to my heart's content; but no, instead I feltlike they tried to distract me with flashy graphics. 'The Order' turned out to be more of a tech demo than a serious game, so hopefully a sequel might work if they actually bothered next time.


#8 Pewdiepie: Legend of the Brofist (Mobile/PC) (3/10)

Oh no, not you. Just the concept of this man making a video game was enough to convince me that I would not enjoy this Youtuber's venture into gaming, and not surprisingly I didn't enjoy any of it. I honestly tried to keep an open mind, but as a human being who enjoys quality games and doesn't act like an easily amused seal I found this a mind numbing experience that should never be spoken of again. I understand that this game was built for a very specific target market that doesn't include me, but for an outsider there was nothing included that would interest me. I just don't care about this man's personal life, so why the hell would I enjoy a game based around that very thing? In all honesty this whole game just felt like a very expensive way to massage one man's ego with very little quality to show for. I only hoped the plot twist would be that the legend of the 'brofist' was actually aimed at this man's face.


I've heard that the mobile version of the game is just one big grind, but the PC version surprised me with just how standard the mechanics are for what is meant to be a serious game. The gameplay doesn't excite me, and fails to work half the time with its frustratingly difficult control scheme. The only reason you would pick the game up again is if you wanted to beat it again at a higher difficulty setting, but that would just lead to more frustration with the fiddly controls that just don't function in a boss battle where precision is key and there are no checkpoints. That's all there is to the game really; repetitive gameplay with the odd annoying predicament. The thing is that this game became the highest grossing game on the US app store just hours after release, which is amazing considering the sub standard quality of the final product. It turns out the 'PewDiePie' effect of promoting deliberately stupid games to make them successful also worked with the man's own creation. Sorry 'PewDiePie' but you need to learn when to fuck off.


#7 Alone in the Dark: Illumination (PC) (2/10)

I didn't even like the original 'Alone in the Dark' games, but even I'll admit that compared to this shambles they seem like the greatest games ever released. The kindest thing I can say about this new instalment is that the game appears to be incomplete. Calling it a half assed job would be more accurate, as at every moment this feels like a cut price title that had minimal effort put into its development. There isn't even a single player mode in this title, which is a bit of a lie considering that there is, but it's such a pointless inclusion that you just have to play online, which is also quite difficult considering nobody plays this pile of shit. I don't blame people; who would want to pay money towards one of the most generic multiplayer experiences of this generation that may have just passed quality control as an addon to an already popular game. The servers being dead even as early as the week of launch was all the evidence needed to prove what a catastrophic failure this title was, not providing a single person with any enjoyment. Still, nice continuity from the developers to literally give the player a feeling of being alone in the dark; or at least alone in the lobby.

The worst part about this game though was how it went about fitting into the action genre. I didn't think it was possible to fail at making an action game so badly, but in this one the mechanics are so atrocious that it almost fails at being a playable game. The AI are also a pile of shit, and the difficulty system, which makes the game just impossible when you begin, is just stupid in a survival game. The overall multiplayer system will piss you off within the hour if by some miracle you do find enough games to keep playing for that long, and when the game forces you to grind to achieve anything it's no wonder that so many gamers feel alienated by this stupid concept. This was a game that forgot about both the horror and action genres that the series was notable for and instead just settled for a below par action game, and a bloody poor one at that. I've seen this concept milked so many times before, so how this pile of shit was supposed to stand out is beyond me. All this is is a cheap 'Left For Dead' rip off with an infinitely worse control scheme and premise.



#6 Zombeer (PC/PS3) (2/10)

And the award for the most tasteless game of the year goes to this abomination. Whether you can call it a game or not is debatable, but what isn't up for debate is that the game isn't actually finished. No seriously, despite being on sale to the general public the story, which was shit anyway, just decides to cut out halfway through. At no point was it specified to the consumer that you were paying for half a game, making the developers of this thing money grabbing and misleading scumbags who don't deserve a second of your time. This fraudulent release wasn't even any good for the few hours where the game didn't decide to not let you play. The premise for example is the stupid concept that you can only avoid becoming a zombie in this fictional world by drinking beer. As a man who enjoys beer a lot I found this storyline to be in very poor taste, as I, and many of my beardy drinking friends will not have their favourite beverage ruined by some shitty games developer trying to make a quick buck out of a stupid idea.


As for quality, well there isn't any. I think this game would appeal to twelve year old boys who have no idea what the concept of 'maturity' is. If by some coincidence you don't know what 'adulthood' is then you'll have a hard time not cringing through every poorly timed joke this game tries desperately to make. It's painful to watch really, but thankfully the developers put you out of your misery quite quickly with the shortened length. In fact I'm sure this game was shorter than 'The Order', and I'm not sure scientists have discovered a measurement of time that small. Once you get past the supposedly humorous tone you get to a game with no passable gameplay elements at all. The combat is rubbish, the controls are rubbish, the story is rubbish, and the fact you have to drink beer every few seconds is just annoying. But it's okay because the developers have decided to distract you from that with zombie breasts. Hooray, I've been waiting all my life to see that unfunny anticlimax. I would say that was the best joke, but best wasn't really the right word to use in that context. Shame there was no decent gameplay for the player to escape from this failed comedy, and as a result this release was a total failure.


#5 Motorcycle Club (PC/PS3/PS4) (2/10)

For me the most irritating game of the year, not only because of how glitchy the whole thing is, but mainly because of how terrible it sounds. I'm not sure if my speakers have ever had to cope with a noise so disturbing before, and this was from bikes and not Piers Morgan or some of the screwed up shit I found in the dark corners of the Internet. Actually those weird videos were less offensive to me than this game, and you should see those videos. Never have I once had to turn the sound off of a game, but in this one I just had to. If there is a soundtrack included in the game then we can't here it, and instead it's an unbearable whine from what is apparently the noise a cunt signal makes, or a motorbike engine as they're more commonly known. Even the racing part didn't work, instead playing like a clunky pile of shit to take away any fun you were having, which wasn't much.

The unique features this game has aren't any good either. There's a feature that means you can switch with other riders on track, which you may think sounds fine until you actually experience the system for what a buggy mess it really is. All these bells and whistles only managed to emphasise what a tumour of a racing game this is. In all honesty I thought the game was a free roam experience initially because that's how little guidance or purpose the developers gave this crap. If the purpose was just to have fun then the developers need to take a long hard look at their product, because even as a person who loves racing games I was personally insulted by a result that even a 90's arcade machine would be embarrassed to play.


#4 Rugby World Cup 2015 (PC/PS3/PS4/Vita/X360/XONE) (2/10)

How the hell did a game this broken ever get released? Oh yes, money. I understand that game developers would want to cash in on a huge sporting event like the 2015 Rugby World Cup, but there's no excuse for such a shoddy release, even if the production was at the last minute. I didn't expect this to be a polished sports game, but I at least wanted the feeling that I was controlling the players on the screen, and not pointlessly pressing buttons to uncover yet another glitch. Even if you aren't getting frustrated with the lack of communication between the controller and screen, you'll be vomiting at the turdish visuals that are modelled on cheap rip offs of real places and players as the game isn't even properly licensed. In reality the game should be called 'Half of The 2015 Rugby World Cup'. This game however thinks it's acceptable to have fake players stumbling around the screen in idiotic fashion. The AI in this game is seriously one of the worst I've ever played with, or tried to at least, as nobody knows the fucking rules. I'm not sure the developers ever watched a single game of rugby before making this, as the bots don't seem to have a clue about the rules either.

But the thing I hate the most is that nobody appeared to care about the game of rugby or the historic sporting event in question when making this game. This was a game to make a good bit of money, and the result is that every element of the game feels like an afterthought. In a rugby game that's supposed to be realistic I don't expect to be able to run from one end of the pitch to the other without being tackled. If I was a rugby fan I would be insulted by just how badly the sport I love has been desecrated here, and the developers should be ashamed of themselves for not even releasing a product that can function. I'm glad this failed, as the result is like a limping dog that needs to be put to sleep.


#3 Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 (PS3/PS4/X360/XONE) (2/10)

Somehow I don't think this is the way to revive a franchise. Obviously the developers thought they could skip the quality aspects of the game and sell this product entirely on nostalgia. The results are a boring skating game, which I didn't think was actually possible, but the missions and environment in this are so dull and lifeless that even watching yobbos in the town centre being a public nuisance would be more entertaining than this crap. The simplicity and solid mechanics of the originals are no more, and instead we get a generic sports game that doesn't excite you or feel satisfying to play anymore. Chiefly that's because of the sheer number of glitches that plague the game and prevent the player from having a good time, which is also assuming it's playable considering the frame rate loves to jump round all over the place. This just shouldn't happen in such a legendary series, but in both concept and performance this was such a letdown.

As in the previous sports game on this list there was that recurring feeling that everything was done to an average level and that was that. Nobody put any of their passion for gaming in this, only selling their souls to the consumerist market. This is a game that doesn't want you to explore the landscape or have a great time with enjoyable elements, and instead makes a game considerably worse than the 1999 original. When comparing the original and this game the difference in quality is astronomical, with this newer version taking much loved and simple to implement features away for whatever reason. This failure is inexcusable really, and should not be what modern consoles should be about. This latest generation of games should be pushing the boundaries and not just accepting a mediocre product because it will still sell well. Admittedly the developers of this game have released a 7 gigabyte patch to combat the many technical issues, which does show they care, but I don't think a patch that large is acceptable for such a simple game with such a big reputation.


#2 Godzilla (PS3/PS4) (1/10)

Yes I have always wanted to play a Godzilla game on the current generation of consoles, but unfortunately not one that bores me out of my mind by making me do the same mission over and over again. Essentially all there is to this game is lumbering around a bit only to throw some very slow punches at an object until it blows up with the same animation as everything else, which are so poor that they look like they were from an old PS2 game. If this repetitive gameplay is meant to make the Godzilla game feel like the classic films then why the hell would you put that shitty design into a game when the two mediums are obviously different? I couldn't quite believe that I was playing a PS4 game, and that's mainly because this game is just a PS3 port from Japan, but that's no excuse for a presentation that's so poor that you'd complain if the game came out of a cereal packet.

As for the actual gameplay, well I wasn't sure what the game was aiming to be. One minute it wants to be a serious fighting game, and the next it wants to be an adrenaline pumping action game. The end result is that the criteria for neither genre is met, mainly because of how fucking slow the whole game is, and so the result ends up being this game caught in the mediocrity of the middle ground. The most basic of mistakes are made for a game like this. This 'triple A' release has no block button, no thrills thanks to the snails pace combat, and controls that don't work. In a game that relies on an element of precision it's just suicidal not to have a block button and the only way to turn the monster is with the triggers. These flaws might be forgivable on a small budget, but this was a big release in a historic franchise, so how do you fuck everything up so badly?



#1 Steel Rivals (PC) (0/10)

Well this pile of horse shit had to get number one. Fighting games are simple things to get right even with a small budget, so when a fighting game manages to have not a single noteworthy feature then you know something has gone horribly wrong. 'Steel Rivals' manages to achieve nothing to an acceptable standard, which I suppose was predictable considering that the fifth 'feature' this game has in the description is how the game has a leaderboard. Wow. Admittedly that leaderboard works unlike the rest of the game which is filled with fundamental errors that even a two year old child could have spotted. The camera for example is at a fixed position far too close to the fighters, giving the player no perspective. The controls didn't work for a game like this and only responded half the time, as was such with the block button which is just broken. And as for the choice of characters, well that was just pathetic; it came down to a choice of the most generic characters you could possibly imagine with similar moves to everyone else. All the game consists of is finding a move that you can endlessly spam, and that's it. It's like nobody told the developers that games were supposed to be fun. 


'Steel Rivals' isn't fun, 'Steel Rivals' barely functions on the most basic of levels. If you want to control your character with precision that you're out of luck considering the controls don't allow you to jump normally, or attack normally, or even move normally without fucking everything up. This game is a nightmare to play, and in an experience that may revolve around dodging projectiles that's just stupidity. I could go on with the flaws, but just trust me, this game is just full of faults and is an embarrassment to the fighting genre. All this game consists of is technical abominations set to some of the most off putting music they could have put together, realistically meaning the only people that would have the patience to stick with this game without planting a right hand through the screen would be a saint; but even then that's debatable. I've honestly never played a game that felt like its sole existence was to piss you off, but somehow this turd of a release managed it. What a shit game.

Top 10 Video Games of 2015

2015 must have been the first year in gaming I can remember that isn't full of overhyped clutter. This was the year that saw some great game releases, and finally made people realise that this new generation of consoles might have a purpose other than taking money out of wallets; although having said that, all blatant cash scams that identify themselves as games have been removed this list.

#10 Super Mario Maker (Wii U) (7/10)

How the hell has this not been released already? In the twenty years of the Mario franchise I can honestly say that this has been the best idea it's come up with. Nintendo themselves have been full of great ideas this year, and so it's a shame that nobody will ever buy a Wii U, but if you do then this would be the reason to get one. If for some reason you haven't ever felt the need to create your own sidescroller then this might not be the game for you, but if you enjoy ciphering through thousands of creations from passionate gaming fans then this is one of the best experiences you could ever possibly imagine. Some of you may think that Nintendo have gotten lazy in their old age and just got the players to create the game for them, but the customisation is a brilliant selling point to start revolutionising your own Mario series in the style of either modern installations or some of the classics. This is a game perfectly optimised for the current Wii U format, even if the social elements still aren't quite there yet.

However the plus side to a more social orientated game like this one is that you get the benefits from millions of other players, and when delving through the community creations you find there are some hugely talented creators out there, essentially making this a nearly endless Mario experience. When some of the clever creations are compared to your shitty levels it becomes clear that this is far more than just a great tool for that dual screen concept, and actually one of the best customisable games ever released. The efficient use of the second screen really comes into its own here, allowing for easy creation options, and for passionate gamers everywhere to express their inner developer. This release wasn't so much a game, more a tool to unlock limitless levels of Mario.


#9 Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege (PC/PS4/XONE) (7/10)

I love Tom Clancy games. I especially love the 'Rainbow Six' series that for me has become something of a more sophisticated alternative to the barebones approach of many other conventional shooters. This new release provides a lick of paint to an already polished franchise, and the results are still as good as they've always been. 2015 was a good year for multiplayer games, but this was the game that stood out for me despite still keeping the spirit of blowing up a lot of shit to the soundtrack of graphic language and underage gamers. Not exactly classic Tom Clancy style, but there's enough innovation in this game for me to consider this a good idea. Yes, the multiplayer based format does limit the experience, and certainly the life cycle as well, but as a change in direction for the franchise this was a positive release that was still really fun to play over and over again. 

Optimising a game solely for multiplayer is always a risk, but thankfully for this title the multiplayer modes were all great fun to play. It's a format that builds on classic FPS features, offering a different and more teamwork based perspective of an often samey genre. The combat mechanics in particular felt polished, and the way each game pans out builds a lot more tension than other similar action orientated games such as Battlefield. I like how this game builds on the Tom Clancy formula and encourages fresh thinking, and integrating this with thoughtful game mechanics to create some exhilarating moments. The destruction mechanic in particular was a real plus point, taking away the constant frustration of your teammates screwing up for the five thousandth time thanks to the rubbish matchmaking system. The only other real downside is the amount of content, which is just eleven maps. That's not exactly what you would call massive, but then I can't think of a better way to play them countless times in one sitting.


#8 Splatoon (Wii U) (8/10)

Proof that multiplayer shooters don't have to be catered for underage bellends that constantly insult your mum whilst simultaneously beheading you in the most gruesome way possible. 'Splatoon' proved that you can now have fifteen million times more fun by shooting ink at people. I know that doesn't sound too amazing, but this is a seriously fun game, and a far bigger adrenaline rush than 'Call of Duty' or 'Battlefield' gave me this year. Maybe that's because 'Splatoon' is such a refreshing take on the multiplayer shooter format, and that includes everything from the concept itself to the art style and lovable music. This is such a unique and fun experience for a multiplayer game that it seems bizarre to me that this came from Nintendo, who never make good multiplayer games. I don't why this is so good to play, but maybe it's something to do with how you don't have to mutilate the whole enemy team for once, and now have the far more charming job of covering the whole map with ink. Strangely the world of death has become quite dull in video games, and now I want to get a kick out of squid simulator meeting a game of paintball; then again who wouldn't want that?

There is unfortunately a few big flaws that show Nintendo's lack of experience when going into multiplayer based games. The lack of voice chat in particular is particularly stupid to exclude, as are the exclusion of private lobbies. Couple these gripes with a woeful matchmaking system and you have a suicidal basis for a social and team based game, but for some reason the innovation and charm end up not making you care about a single one of these downfall. This is one of the most original concepts this year, and I love it when innovative ideas end up playing as well as this one does. This was a risk that payed off beautifully; so well in fact that the result is a game that anyone of any gaming persuasion can enjoy with little effort. The DLC is even free, so at least there's going to be an active community for a little while longer. It's certainly enough to make me reconsider buying that Wii U.


#7 Just Cause 3 (PC/PS4/XONE) (8/10)

This was a game that didn't get as much praise from the critics as I thought it deserved, especially considering that most of the reviews just overlooked the whole concept of this game. That concept is fun by the way, and I'm so glad in such a gritty and expansive world the developers never forgot about the player's experience. Taping rockets to enemies and watching them explode is far more entertaining to me than exploring what is a desolate and huge world, and with this game that's something you're encouraged to do. The whole map itself is absolutely gigantic and dwarfs even the most epic of RPGs in a similar way to which the previous game in the series did. In fact this game is very similar to the previous instalment of the franchise, yet I found this new entry far more refined and easier to enjoy. I was never a fan of the second game, but this is far more accessible and entertaining than its predecessor.

The only major problem is the piss poor narrative, which unfortunately is a big one. The developers still haven't been able to write a story that isn't generic drivel, and like the previous game this failed to intrigue me on any level. The loading times are also shocking, and there isn't a minimap for some stupid reason, but I never said that this game wasn't a little rough around the edges. There are certainly many elements to this game that are lacking in detail, but I find this forgivable in a game so enjoyable and on such an epic scale as well. The destruction in particular is the biggest highlight, and a highlight that has almost endless potential and looks absolutely unbelievable on consoles. The sheer amount of ways to have fun with this game is incredible, and I do love that this game took the elements that worked from the franchise and made them better. There may be some of the old drawbacks still laying around, but this is a much improved outing from one of the most adrenaline filled RPGs out there.


#6 Mortal Kombat X (Mobile/PC/PS4/XONE) (8/10)

When you get to releasing the tenth game in a beloved franchise I suppose the weight of expectation starts to fade, and so yet again the guys at NetherRealm Studios have pulled off another excellent game. I'm still not sure it tops the previous game, which I personally feel is the greatest fighting game of all time, but I would still say that this new game meets expectations. This tenth game still has what everyone wants from a Mortal Kombat game. There's a crisp and balanced fighting experience, a ton of gore, and a vast selection of unique characters. The gore in particular is as per usual done to the extreme, with the new fatalities looking even bloodier with the updated graphics. In fact the new crimson sheen to the franchise was excellent, and aside from a few teething issues with combat the game has nicely placed itself in this generation of consoles.

There were still a few issues that need addressing such as the lacklustre story and the lack of significant changes, but this game is a step forward for the franchise, even if it doesn't reach the heights that the ninth instalment managed. This is less fluid than the ninth game, less accessible, but still full of the same solid material that made the series great in the first place. As a Mortal Kombat game this is all we could have ever expected, and I'm happy that in an increasingly 'PC' age this is still as exhilarating and gruesome to play as it always was. All I ever want in a Mortal Kombat game is to spam the same moves over and over again with Scorpion, which the game still allows me to do, but thankfully rewards players who use a little more skill than me. I'm disappointed I can't evolve into being a bigger cunt as there's no Noob Saibot to play around with, but you can at least get Predator and a Xenomorph as DLC, which is a fantastic inclusion to the already rich roster; so there's no excuse for fighting game lovers like me to give this one a miss. This is still the best way to fuel a gamers innate desire to be casual sadists, and I can't think of a better way to do it.


#5 Cities: Skylines (PC) (8/10)

This was what the latest SimCity should have been. When comparing these two games it becomes instantly clear that this game does everything better than the more famed predecessor. The worst part for SimCity developers Maxis is that Skylines was created by a team of thirteen employees from a small Finnish studio. If that's not a huge 'fuck you' to EA then I don't know what is. But let's face it, this was always destined to be greater than the pioneering SimCity franchise. This game actually pays homage to the classics of the genre, and only expands on the whole experience, giving you the same feeling of a classic city builder only with a few innovative features. In a genre where the products are often more linear in nature, this game decided to break the mould and encourage players to show their creative sides instead of just building things according to the specification. I got the sense with this game that it was developed by gamers and not just by people who programmed a game based on an interview with the city planning office.

To say this was the best city builder of all time would be going a step too far, but I don't think it's too unreasonable to say that this is the most immersive. The mod support as well is also such a welcome addition to a city builder, never letting what is quite a simple formula get dull or tiring. That's not to say a city builder shouldn't be dull, in fact I love a dull city builder, as that just tells you that the micromanagement system is precise and polished. This game was such a success that there have been talks to get this on the Xbox One. I hope that doesn't happen as it just wouldn't work, and would only ruin the whole concept of the entire game with console restrictions. Still, with the PC version of this game we got proof that the city builder genre is back big time, and finally got ourselves a deserving sequel to SimCity 4.


#4 Fallout 4 (PC/PS4/XONE) (8/10)

'Fallout 4' wasn't a game I could exclude from my yearly list. After all this was THE release of the year, and for good reasons too. There may have been well publicised issues with various glitches and bugs, and the conversation system is still nowhere near the levels of other epic RPGs, but as a standalone game this lived up to its high expectations. I have to say I was still disappointed by the lackluster graphics and the tendencies for this to play like dog shit, hinting at a dated engine that you just don't expect from a release this huge. But having said that the real reason why this game is so high on the list is because of the amount of customisation on offer. It's ironic that in a game as vast as this one it's the smaller things that are nailed to perfection. This was by far the most addictive game to be released this year, and one that will keep you grinding away for hours in the hope that you find another trivial object to change your whole gaming experience. I wouldn't say that was keeping with the spirit of the franchise, but I don't really care with a system that turns me on as much as this one did. The brilliant micromanagement required to enjoy this game was almost enough to make me forgive the underwhelming RPG elements and storyline, but even though this game played it safe there is still so much on offer.

The big surprise with this release though was the gunplay. It's a really good system that totally exceeded my expectations for an exploration based RPG. I have nothing against the new focus on weaponry, especially when it comes with that expected 'Bethesda' diversity. I can totally understand why this huge world has absorbed the lives of many gamers, and though I'm not one to worship this game, I can see the appeal even behind all that messy execution. I just love that if you hate the story you can just piss about and build a village, and the whole world just begs to be explored in a way that emulates the greats in this genre. Bethesda have encouraged players to gawp at their surroundings and get excited over finding a single nail, and that's great in a game like this; this is a title that anyone can pick up and enjoy. The final result was a product that confused me considering that the fundamental features are all muddled up, yet the extras are done so brilliantly well that you can't help but support the great reputation that this game has deservedly amassed.



#3 Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (PC/PS3/PS4/X360/XONE) (9/10)

I'll happily admit that I've never been a huge fan of the 'Metal Gear Solid' franchise, only really enjoying 'Snakeater' in the lengthy past of this series. However this new open world experience and possibly the last in the franchise was a result nothing short of brilliant. I say this as a man who doesn't enjoy the stealth aspects of the game, rather the diversity and allowance the player is given to create their own experience. Where many other stealth games fail in execution this one excels due to being a fun adventure for anyone who appreciates the technical aspects of video gaming. As a swansong for legendary creator Hideo Kojima this was the best Konami could have hoped for. The now legendary story of Solid Snake goes out with a huge bang, and as a result this is by far the most memorable game of the franchise. 80 million dollars were spent in the development of this thing, and it shows. This is a mammoth game in perspective with spectacular visuals, an epic score, and an expertly programmed AI that make everything feel so professionally done. At no point did I ever get the impression that this was a game rushed for launch like the rumours suggested it was.

But the thing I love even more than how smoothly this game plays is just how complex the whole experience is. This is a game that's tactical, intelligent, gritty, and epic all at the same time, only pausing to allow the player to get creative or innovative with the tools on offer. The game never punishes you for doing things differently and at your own pace, and as a user driven experience this is in a class of one. Admittedly the story runs out of steam by the end, and in fact is almost at a screeching halt by the underwhelming conclusion. It doesn't help that Snake plays the role of a more passive protagonist, which just doesn't work in any respect when playing a role playing game that should focus on the story of the singular protagonist. I never got the feeling that Snake was the integral character in this game, and that's a shame for the final episode in his epic story. Snake still goes out on a high note with the best game in the franchise by far, deservedly being praised unanimously by the gaming press.


#2 Rocket League (PC/PS4/XONE) (9/10)

Oh what a simple pleasure this was. In terms of nailing a simple design this game was done to almost total perfection. The premise may be bread and butter, but in a similar way to how games such as Tetris became so great, it's all about how that simple idea is implemented that's the key to this game's success. In many ways it wasn't the big name titles of FIFA and NHL that have me the adrenaline rush that I usually get when playing sports games, but instead the adrenaline rush went to this enjoyable little title from the relative minnows compared to the giants at EA. The big boys couldn't make a game that looked and felt as brilliant as this title, with the detail of this taking me completely by surprise. Even the single player aspects of this game, which aren't the focus at all, can easily absorb hours upon hours with exhilarating gameplay. The single player however is nothing in comparison to the online games which are stupidly fun when a large crowd is attracted. All this from a game that solely consists of rocket powered cars playing football. When you say it like that the achievement of creating a brilliant game out of that simple concept becomes even more impressive.

Even if you don't care about football or racing games you can still have a great time playing this fusion of the two. Luckily for me I love both of those genres, so to me this was just something else. I'll admit I only scratched the surface of a very deep fanbase, but even in my short playing time I was mugged off by about every master there is of the game, yet still had a great time playing as a relative beginner. As an E-sport this is one of the biggest revelations for many years and far more exciting to watch than Koreans beating people at overrated MMORPGs. 'Rocket League' is a concept so normal and stupid that you would never imagine this unique title becoming such a hit, but as one of the more original and thoughtful releases of the year I think it deserves that popularity. I could happily watch other players score unbelievable goals for hours upon hours and still not get bored, because that's when developers let people fuck around with their game to their heart's content. If this game isn't a symbol of what modern gaming should be about then I don't know what is. Seriously, if you need an online game to ruin your life then stay away from 'League of Legends' and buy this gem; you'll keep your dignity as well.


#1 The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (PC/PS4/XONE) (10/10)

Finally; Finally someone milked not only the great concept that this franchise had, but also milked the latest generation of consoles for that RPG it finally deserved. In a year of some huge releases this game stood out by a mile for me, and even managed to secure a spot in my 'Hall of Fame' as one of the few games in history to get a perfect score. This quite literally made my jaw open wider than it has done since Red Dead Redemption was released a few years back. This is what high performance gaming should be about; beautiful environments and some of the most complex and interesting quests to take part in and reap the benefits of this rich world. The RedEngine 3 is one of the best engines I've ever come across to build worlds that you can so easily get lost in, and is almost a perfect base to build this epic RPG from. The visuals in 'The Witcher' are just orgasmic, and as a step forward from the previous instalment, well this is just mindblowing. Flaws that I banged on about with other RPGs this year are absent from this one. This has a decision making system that rivals the best. This has intense moral and ethical choices for the player to make that actually leads to game changing consequences in a mature storyline that impressed me with its seamlessly endless surprise of missions. This is a game that tries to be sophisticated at every available opportunity, and it pulls that off so well that this should be classed as an overall triumph for video game storytelling.

'The Witcher' may put some gamers off with its long length and epic scale, but for those who are after a truly epic experience that irons out the creases of previous instalments then this is all you could ever ask for. The combat is now far more refined, the difficulty has been tweaked to actually add some balance, and the new UI is even readable and useful to the player. For the first time this year I got the sense that the developers behind this great game were not money grabbing assholes and actually wanted to build a game that players would cherish their time with. In such a commercialised gaming market it was so refreshing to see a developer giving us free DLC to already accompany a vast experience with so many hours of potential gameplay to exploit. Even the most insignificant of side quests will take you on a grand adventure, and some of the main missions have more detail in them than whole entire games. In fact the attention to detail in the whole game is just stunning. The developers even added a mechanic of real time beard growth, which has to be the greatest mechanic in any game ever. But this is just a small addition that doesn't detract from the main emphasis of exploration and adventure which are in abundance here. The game never forces you to explore the lush landscape, but you just want to, as this is one of the most diverse landscapes in gaming history. I absolutely loved every fucking second of it.

Top 10 Best Songs of 2015

#10 Adele - Hello (6/10)

I'm a man that would usually hate Adele's frankly underwhelming work, but in her return to the industry I have to admit that her first attempt is actually something special. I've never felt that any of her previous work deserved the ridiculous praise the press gave it, but with 'Hello' I found there was a genuine sense of emotion and passion in the song that was absent from atrocious songs like 'Rolling in the Deep'. The old cliches are still lying around admittedly, but as a meaningful song this is by far and away the best Adele has conjured up. I'm not sure I would describe the result as 'epic', as that would be overselling a song that's only of a decent quality, but to say this is a pleasant surprise would be more appropriate in a song that doesn't really push the boundaries or strive for artistic perfection. Instead Adele's voice is given to us in manageable chunks that compliment the lone piano in the background. As a concept that's not exactly suicidal when considering the raw power that Adele's voice can produce, so it was nice to see the piano and her voice come together to produce one eerie atmosphere that contrasts the dramatic crescendos that appear in this song.

'Hello' is actually a rather depressing number that reflect the banality of everyday life. It's one of those numbers that will make you regret every decision in your life, resonating within the listener like powerful art should. The six months of work that went into just writing this song are evident, and this number feels like a mammoth job oozing with quality and intrinsic value. No, it's not radically different from her previous work, but unlike the others this isn't bland, pretentious, or a song that solely focuses on the voice of one woman even if it does love to show off a bit. This is a song that suits Adele down to the ground, yet never becoming annoying or overstaying its welcome like every pop song seems to these days. I like how there's no shots of tits or asses to appeal to a common denominator, instead just relying on pure vocal talent to get popularity; and that's admirable. I still think Adele is an overrated individual, and for five years of solid work this song is still far from being perfect, just better than everything that came before it.


#9 OMI - Cheerleader (6/10)

Undeniably the song that was the king of pop mediocrity in 2015. In short this was the only 'banger' released this year that didn't properly piss me off, and although that's not the same view with everyone, this in my mind was a thoroughly enjoyable little number. I'll cede that the level of autotuning is horrendous, the lyrics are far from good, the production sounds a bit messy in places, and remixing old material is a petty way to fame. Overlook those niggles however and you have a decent tune for the masses. I especially love how somebody actually got a decent tune out of a saxophone, as nobody has successfully complimented a pop song with a saxophone for years. The sax in this has a catchy melody and makes you feel good, not trying to become the centre of attention every five seconds.

I hate to say this but for once a DJ got his dirty hands on older material and didn't actually ruin the whole thing. He didn't make the whole song a vanity project for himself, and actually had the basic human decency to compliment the original artist's work. The finished product is actually one that contradicts that positive clubbing vibe the song sells, and actually contains a rather dark undertone. It's an almost touching number of a man who can't find an ideal lover in life, making this one of the more modest hits of the year. I like that about a song I hear five million times in every single club; innocent charm is far more attractive to my ears than pointless bass drops. OMI himself isn't exactly the most charismatic individual, and I'm sure he's quite irritating in person, but as a face to one of the biggest hits of the summer he seemed like a genuinely decent man. This is a song that took seven years to make it big, but I'm glad it did, as for once there was a summer anthem that was actually bearable.


#8 Queensryche - Guardian (6/10)

Let's begin by saying that I'm not a fan of Queensryche. I can't recall them ever producing any material of note since the mid 80's; that was until the album 'Condition Human' dropped this year, which isn't a bad listen at all. 'Guardian' is the best song from that said album, and just like the band you would be easily mistaken for thinking the song was released in the late 80's metal scene. Queensryche themselves have had somewhat of a reshuffle lately, and although this drastic change has been met with heavy criticism I actually quite like the new sound. Lead singer Todd La Torre is the biggest change, or impostor depending on your point of view, but he's a breath of fresh air that whilst not instantly becoming a legendary metal frontman, is a man that can do his job to a decent standard and nothing more. I find him too alike Bruce Dickinson, and as such I don't see Queensryche standing out in the metal industry anytime soon, but for this song the vocals work perfectly fine.

However I was pleased to find that this reinvigoration of the band has the ability to produce songs with decent hooks and decent production value. All of this is perfectly acceptable for a band that don't appear to be showing their age, still coming out with some powerful anthems that have all the trimmings of a hardcore metal band. The two lead guitars in this one actually produce a nice harmony, and couple that with the ferocious drumming, passion to make great music, and howling lyrics, and the basis is there for a quality metal song. The band still have a surprising amount of chemistry together and the best part is that they feel like they have the desire to keep going. The fact is that I'm still going to criticise the band for simply mimicking musical styles of a bygone era, and yes I'll also criticise this risk free venture, however what I won't criticise is the technical quality that this song possesses from a band I wouldn't expect to still be adequately polished.


#7 The Struts - Could Have Been Me (7/10)

I'm not sure what I like about The Struts. It's probably that their sound reminds me of a time when pleasant music was in abundance, or maybe it's just the lead singer looks a bit like Mark Bolan. He also sounds a little like Freddie Mercury, and I promise you I'm not just saying that because of his long black hair. Either way they've come up with a tidy number here. That's a surprising thing to say as the band hail from Derby, which is not only a shithole up north, but also not exactly a hotbed for music, so it's nice to see such a charismatic band appear from such an unlikely source. I'm not suggesting for one moment that The Struts can compete with classic bands like Queen, but you can't help but draw similarities with this song that focuses on repetition and the talent of the lead singer to get sales. With The Struts you do get that indie vibe as well, which isn't something I like, but then I find all that being overpowered by this classic noise that used to dominate rock. That alone is enough to sexually excite me. 'Could Have Been Me' however is a surprisingly complex track that throws up a few cheeky riffs to change the pace in unexpected places, but at its core is still a simple song that just sounds fantastic when compared to the majority of rock music these days. In some ways it's a fresh approach by incorporating a sound that died out decades ago; and I like that.


#6 Lana Del Ray - Music to Watch Boys To (7/10)

Lana Del Ray was a much improved artist this year despite still not finding that original form that made her hit the big time. This isn't an opinion I share with a lot of people who enjoy Lana's music, but despite the mediocrity of her latest album there was still the inclusion of meritable material such as the one here. I love it when artists decide to go for a more arty approach to pop music, and although this song is slowly paced it's never dull or melodramatic; more a thing of mysterious beauty. 'Music to Watch Boys To' has an air of psychedelia set to the overwhelming presence of the noir films of old, and this mixture works together extremely effectively. Couple this strong theme with some excellent production and you have a song that's great to listen to. I love the underplayed beat, and I love the hint of flute that caresses the melody every now and then. It's a discreet melody used to create an obtuse and unusual sound, but it complements Lana's voice really well, and certainly far better than her often weak vocal performances in previous albums. This time however they're strangely orgasmic to listen to, reminding me of casual phone sex rather than a sophisticated piece of art, but that's such a nicer thing to listen to than the barrage of dreariness that engulfed music this year. As a result this song stood out for me, even if the finished results aren't exactly flawless.


#5 Faith No More - Superhero (7/10)

'Faith No More' have become somewhat obsolete in the overly expanding world of rock, or that was until their 2015 album that turned out to be one of the more intense and unique records released throughout the year. Suddenly the eighteen year absence of the band from any popularity was gone, and this reinvigorated band ended up producing good songs like the one above. 'Superhero' is a song my teenage self would be very fond of. It's full of rage and anger, powerful riffs, and breakneck drumming that screams heavy metal to even the most untrained of ears. As a nineties child this was right up my street, giving me instant flashbacks to the times of proper music for people having an existential crisis. As a song this is just unpredictable, chaotic and all over the place, but that's the whole point. It never stops with the intensity, and it just feels like listening to classic metal all the way through.

Twenty years seem like nothing to the band 'Faith No More', but that's not to say this is a carbon copy of their previous work, and actually this new album develops their sounds into new territory. The standout element for me was the inclusion of the piano. I don't know who decided to add that into such a vicious metal song, but as a juxtaposition it works brilliantly. I just felt it was such a welcome reprieve from the rest of the savagery, and when the layering of the song works to the same effect as being hit by a sledgehammer I found that this was a song that knew when to take a break from just pure and intense metal. I still wish there was a greater emphasis on that lead guitar, and some of the segments weirded me out and alienated me slightly, but there's only a few rough edges on a band that have proven just how adaptable they are with age. I'll admit that this isn't a song for everyone, but for angry teenagers this is something special.


#4 Rat Boy - Sign On (7/10)

Ratboy is actually from my hometown of Chelmsford, but I promise the reason this song places so highly on this year's list is because it's a surprisingly good song. I didn't want to like it as I'd rather Chelmsford maintains its shit reputation for the benefit of my jokes, but once I started seeing the music video set outside such famous landmarks as my local pub I gave in and started enjoying it. This was a genuine sleeper hit that took me by surprise, saying more about living in Chelmsford than anyone has since Charles Dickens called it the most pointless spot on the planet. Of course this is a total contrast of style from the more sophisticated works of Dickens, as he never appealed to the teenage underbelly with his unapologetic attitude and basic view on life. At its core 'Sign On' is an instantly relatable song to the majority of teenagers, and I like how this rebellious excursion is accompanied by a fusion of indie riffs and hip hop beats. The opening riff in particular is pretty tasty, as is the whole production if truth be told. I like how for once a song aimed at a younger demographic isn't unbearably tedious or lacking any real quality. It may be crass and simplistic, but I think that works just fine. Ratboy may come off as a bit of a dick, but I like his musical style even if it doesn't get an asslicking from the media.


#3 Breaking Benjamin - Defeated (8/10)

I don't say this very often, but for once a band that I enjoyed throughout my angry and depressing phase in life have actually made a fucking great comeback. If anything Breaking Benjamin's latest album is even stronger than their original material, and whilst there aren't any brilliant classics like 'Diary of Jane' lying around, there's still some great material. Here is one of those songs; it's got great lyrics, great pacing, the same old intensity you always got from the old band, and the unmistakable sound of the chemistry from years playing together. To some that might make the results sound too much like a generic hard rock song, but I have to say that once you peel the layers away the song isn't so much a piece that lacks a fresh and dynamic approach, and is actually a stylish and complex rock ballad that pleases both old and new listeners of the band. Some of the riffing in this song is the best I've heard in years, and they perfectly fit that heavy yet melodic nature to this heavy hitting anthem. The vocals also reflect this, and although they do feel a little synthetic in places, they do convey a raw emotion that carries the song nicely.

However what I love most about this song is the sense that the only reason it was released is because of a passionate band. The polished lyrics sound like they originate from a meaningful place, and there's a feeling of emotion that surrounds the whole stellar sound, sounding like a dedication to both the industry and fans, which is something I can fucking respect. Unlike many bands Breaking Benjamin have not lost their style or tenacity over the years, and despite a long hiatus they've proved here that they can play as well, if not better than in their original stint. Yes, this may sound too familiar for many, but I wouldn't say that was a cutting criticism when the results sound this good. It says a lot about the band when their latest album got to the top of the Billboard album charts despite the band's six year absence. That's quite an achievement, but deserved considering the quality of music on offer.


#2 Iron Maiden - Empire of the Clouds (8/10)

'Empire of the Clouds' was the swansong to Iron Maiden's most recent album 'The Book of Souls'. The whole song clocks in at a huge eighteen minutes long, making this epic the longest song Iron Maiden have ever recorded. This song is just a monumental achievement that shows what can be done by a truly gifted band. I understand that the lengthy running time won't be great for every music fan, but I implore everyone to just give this one single listen. Yes that might be more of a commitment than usual, but like a three hour film this song can achieve far greater results than shorter counterparts. The song is so long that it actually tells a very detailed narrative of the R101 air crash, which actually makes for a rather interesting anecdote, and in the hands of Iron Maiden becomes a very meaningful subject that makes this song instantly stand out from the masses of superficial rubbish that 2015 liked to throw up. This song is a lesson in pacing. It's a slow, methodical number that builds tension and anticipation for some huge crescendos that instantly send chills down your spine. For a song trying to portray terror and chaos this is a slow burner that actually makes the tragedy into a thing of beauty. It's such a welcome change from the endless club loving releases this year, feeling like a fucking full blown symphony in comparison, that even taking the lyrics away from would still tell a captivating story. The lyrics only serve to expand on the already rich experience, allowing the listener to fully relate to the story like a grand opera would.

The existence of this song seems barely believable when you consider that frontman Bruce Dickinson was only given the all clear from throat cancer halfway through the year, so how the fuck he managed to produce this kind of performance is a testament to just what a legend this guy is to the music industry. His vocals are as crisp as ever, complimenting the huge buildups and delivering where necessary. You can physically hear the passion this man has over the narrative, which is always a positive, but then almost expected on a number that was his sole creation, and as such it must have been a joy to watch this ambitious project come to life. This isn't just a song blown out of proportion, it's a work of art that contains some extraordinary lyrics that take the listener on a similar journey to that of a novel. This sets the scene perfectly, giving us graphic descriptions to tell one epic tale, transcending itself into far more than any standard lengthy song. The zeppelin crash is drawn out in front of your very eyes throughout the eighteen minute duration, and it's a story that becomes fascinating with every listen. Even Iron Maiden have only managed to create a song this powerful a handful of times before, so to see them still making music like this despite their physical drawbacks is just fantastic.


#1 Tame Impala - Let it Happen (9/10)

There was no doubt in my mind that even after just the one listen this was by far the best song 2015 had to offer. This may just be the best song of the last five years, giving music a sense of style that I haven't heard in ages. Tame Impala classify themselves as psychedelic rockers, which is a genre I love, and the results reflect an eclectic number that never becomes too weird or obtuse for modern audiences. Sure, there's the odd indie shtick thrown in to ruin what could have been a masterpiece, but I suppose that adds to the originality of a song that really stood out for me this year. I just love how one segment drifts into the next in almost effortless ways. Each melody is a quaint LSD inspired trip, creating an existential experience that still never alienates or mocks the listener. As a song it covers themes that haven't been explored properly since the late sixties, and only serves to expand on such a historically important genre.

Every element of this song is thrown together with such style. The synth at the beginning sets up the song perfectly, the slow drum beat and stellar production help add to the atmosphere, and some of the riffs are almost sexual to listen to. This is a song that never feels pretentious or unwelcome, and is actually something as pleasant and easy to get lost in as a wet dream. Despite being penned by an Australian band this is a song that contains a lot of sophistication, and although I find that sometimes leads to the song becoming a bit too clever for its own good at times, I think that overall this is a song layered really well. As an ethereal experience this was the best 2015 had to offer, giving me goosebumps just on the first listen; and that's not an achievement that many songs have accomplished in the last few years.