I've already counted down the best horror movie villains, but now we turn to the thriller genre. A different type of villain is needed to thrive in this genre, they need to be sadistic yet intelligent, but most of all they need to provide heart-pounding moments that make for edge of your seat viewing. Without further ado let's begin, and yes there may be spoilers, so don't say you haven't been warned. See I even underlined it for you:
#10 The Blair Witch (The Blair Witch Project)
Coming from what was a revolutionary film more than anything else, it was definitely ambitious in redefining the horror genre but in the end just fell a bit flat. The film was definitely helped by the antagonist who may or may not exist, The Blair Witch is never seen by the viewer, at least that was the big climax, or anticlimax in the minds of some, and so it's amazing that a hypothetical could carry that much stage presence, and that is why it makes my list. Although I can't help but feel this was the film that lead to about 5000 crappy rip offs of found footage horror movies, but you can't moan at the villain for that.
#9 Roy Batty (Blade Runner)
The antagonist of the fantastic Blade Runner. Roy Batty is the head of the replicants, a group of genetically engineered organic robots that look like the average human of 2019 Los Angeles. The only difference is they have superhuman strength and superhuman intelligence, making him quite a match for Harrison Ford, and it sure as hell makes for a great film.
#8 Annie Wilks (Misery)
There's certainly one thing I can say about Annie Wilks, she isn't quite all there. Her obsession with her favorite romantic author Paul Sheldon leads to some heinous torture scenes at the hands of this deranged women, and all because her favorite character gets killed off at the end of the books. This of course leads to the infamous sledgehammer scene so Paul Sheldon can't escape and the only person that does discover him is quickly put out of his misery with a double barreled shotgun, what a charming person, and also quite mental, and that's why she makes my list. Nowadays you can find her being portrayed by Stewie Griffin in a recent parody of the film.
#7 John Doe (Se7en)
The antagonist of the gripping thriller Se7en, a film which is overshadowed by the annoying title, which is a shame as it's actually rather good. Kevin Spacey plays probably his best role to date as this psychopathic killer. The story behind John Doe is that he murders people to try and teach people about the seven deadly sins from the bible, hence the title. Doe is seen committing five of these murders but thankfully saves the last two for a fantastic conclusion that really does make this film. For sheer genius, through his brutal and calculating mind, John Doe easily makes the list, but it's going to get a lot worse than just mere serial killers.
#6 Jaws (Jaws)
Probably the most iconic 'villain' of any film ever, and probably the only villain that requires a bigger boat to stop. This man eating shark plagues the residents of the fictional resort of Amity Island and even brings with him his own theme music. It is probably the most famous score in the history of cinema and definitely helped secure the film, and this villain, a place in the history books. This villain differs from the rest as it hovers around the idea of humanities fear of the unknown, that unknown being the ocean and what lies beneath it. In this case it happens to be a Great White Shark, and nothing has quite had the same impact since.
#5 Nurse Ratched (One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest)
This lady makes Annie Wilks look like Mother Teresa, and gets my vote for the most evil women in cinema. This cold and heartless nurse runs the Salem State Hospital with an iron fist, those under her spell are mentally ill criminals who she enjoys torturing, and depriving them of any human rights. She shows that absolutes power corrupts a person and no matter who the person is, she can fuck them up.
#4 The Alien Queen (Alien)
Because a normal xenomorph wasn't scary enough. The xenomorph species of alien that was introduced in the original film only turned out to be drones to this larger, more intelligent female. Society in xenomoprhs works in a hive system, similar to ants, and as you would expect this queen is slightly bigger than the average xenomorph, that slightly being around 20ft. Although this alien is powerful enough to defeat power loaders, it is unfortunately not strong enough to defeat cargo bay doors, however that doesn't stop it from creeping the hell out of me and finishing strongly on this list.
#3 Norman Bates (Psycho)
We all go a little mad sometimes, but maybe in this case a little too far. Norman Bates is the first on this list to be modeled off of notorious serial killer Ed Gein, of who he shares many likenesses with, such as having an unnaturally close bond to his own mother, even preserving her corpse. Of course the viewer is unaware of this at the time as Hitchcock brilliantly portrays Bates as an innocent and lonely young boy, which is exactly why the ending packed such a punch, and is still widely regarded as one of the greatest films of all time. A brilliant villain from an unexpected source.
#2 Hannibal Lecter (The Silence of The Lambs)
The second of the Ed Gein inspired maniacs, and in my opinion the worst. The Bear Grylls of the serial killer world, this deranged individual likes to enjoy his victims with some faver beans and a nice Chianti. While he's had many appearances over the years nothing will ever come close to the brilliance of Anthony Hopkins in 'Silence of The Lambs' who expertly pulled off the doctor's intelligence and cunning. Nothing is quite as striking as when we first see Hannibal for the first time, it's an image that never really leaves you, a striking moment in cinema, and a chilling and gruesome villain.
#1 Jack Torrance (The Shining)
The combination of Jack Nicholson and Stanley Kubrick is a match made in heaven, well maybe not for the haunted overlook hotel of which Jack manages, the hotel that slowly turns him into a madman. Jack is a budding playwright who thinks the hotel will finally give him the time he needs for his new play. This doesn't really work as he ends up trying to kill his family and cook before eventually meeting his demise in an icy hedge maze. He is quite simply a brilliant character, and brilliantly portrayed by Jack Nicholson, the film really is absolutely amazing.
Blender is a now defunct 'music' magazine that prided itself on being "the ultimate guide to music and more" so of course we should expect their list of the 50 worst songs of all time to be pretty accurate and the reasons for each nominee should be fully explained with valid reasoning. This list was compiled in 2008, and I only stumbled across it recently when making my own list of worst songs, and so it might be a bit out of date. So let's take a look at how they did, without further ado let's countdown from 50-41: #50 Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On (1998)
"Lop off all but the first 20 seconds of this monster ballad, and it still
merits a slot on this list for the unconscionable crime of adding
pan-flute solos to the pop lexicon. But it doesn’t stop there: With a
voice full of ornamental quivers and trembles, Canadian dynamo Céline
Dion pushes arena-size schmaltz into the red, first cutting her
syllables preciously short, then strangling each one out. Never has a
song about all-consuming love sounded so trivial and been so inescapable
— it powered the Titanic soundtrack to a year-topping 10 million copies sold, and made millions more pray that an iceberg would somehow hit Dion."
Well this is definitely a good start, undeniably a terrible song from a terrible film, this song is just cheesy and disgusting bullshit from one of Canada's many terrible exports. I would actually have to disagree with their bizarre reasoning though, I actually think the pan flute sounds quite nice, it adds a nice atmosphere to the song, something that the vocals definitely don't live up to. They are quite correct about the singing though, wailing and annoying sounds can't save this icebreaker (ha). So all in all a good start for Blender.
#49 Right Said Fred - I'm Too Sexy (1992)
"Right Said Fred were horrible, bald novelty Brits whose one claim to
fame was a song that announced that they were “too sexy” for most
things, from “New York” to “my cat.” Alas, singer Richard Fairbrass
resembled Midnight Oil’s Peter Garrett, and was therefore “too sexy” for
precisely nothing. The song spawned a welter of grating catchphrases
starting with “I’m too sexy” repeated endlessly by annoying people: “I’m
too sexy for my tractor,” etc. Disturbingly, the Freds, as nobody calls
them, are still going."
I'm going to have to disagree with this one, I think the whole fun of this song was that it was not to be taken seriously. It never tries to be the best song in the world and for that I don't think it can be punished, it's just a harmless bit of fun. I also don't quite understand how being bald is a novelty, there a quite a few men who don't have hair, and so if anything it's an iconic image that will accompany the band. However the best thing about that quote is complaining that Right Said Fred are still going strong, oh the irony.
#48 The Beatles - Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da (1968)
"The Beatles proved conclusively that there were two things they could
not do: play reggae and feign enjoyment. “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” was a ska
track recorded at a point during the White Album sessions when the
Beatles would happily have beaten one another to death if only they had
had some clubs on hand. As a result, this sounds less like reggae than
the desperately chirpy songs Cockneys used to sing to keep their spirits
up while the Luftwaffe rained death on them during the Blitz."
This definitely wasn't The Beatles finest hour, the song is terrible there's no doubt about that, but I personally think that's what makes it so good. I definitely don't think this should be included on this list as to me it's just a bit of upbeat fun, no harm in that. Excellent bit of geography as well from Blender, cockneys of course famous for coming from Liverpool, and a nice, tasteless portrayal of Britain there, I'm sure you American's could of helped us out a bit, if your heads weren't shoved so far up your own arses.
#47 Bryan Adams - The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me Is You (1996)
"When Adams chose to do sexy after 15 years of chaste, aw-shucks rockin’,
even his fans were stunned — as if they’d just seen a stag film
starring Richie Cunningham. “I don’t look good in no Armani suits,” he
leered in the song’s only believable moment, before suggesting he’d
rather “wear” the song’s female protagonist over a blues riff like
someone explaining ZZ Top to an accountant. This wasn’t the creepiest
track off his album 18 Til I Die; that accolade goes to a song called “(I Wanna Be) Your Underwear.”"
Yea okay this is terrible, you can have this one. That is also a ridiculously long title.
#46 New Kids on The Block - Hangin' Tough (1989)
"It sucked the Swing out of New Jack, bleached the Blues out of Rhythm
&, and featured white boys calling themselves “funky” despite
some very unfunky denim vests. This Boston quintet triggered a hormonal
rush among 13-year-old girls and intense confusion among their
boyfriends, and paved the way for megaselling boy bands who ran low on
talent and high on dumb hats. This 1988 hit was all crossed arms and
scowls, but the tuff-guy routine didn’t gel: These nancy boys make the
Sharks and Jets look like G-Unit."
They are right, this is another terrible song, it's just fake hardcore gangster bullshit crossed with the usual boyband rubbish. Although I don't think they ever explained why this song is on the list, just why they hate the band.
#45 Ja Rule - Mesmerize (2002)
"Many rappers sing poorly, but none as irritatingly as Jeffrey Atkins. In
2001, he went from a raise-da-roof club grunter who treated women like
car doors to a tone-deaf warbler who swore he worshiped them — and cried
in his videos to prove it. On this 2002 duet with the reliably
transparent Ashanti, he can’t contain his horny side, repeating a
cracked-voiced mantra about “Your lips/Your smile/Your hips/Those
thighs” and admitting his “fetish for $#%ing you with your
skirt on.” Gains points for honesty; loses many more for coming off like
an ogling doofus."
While this definitely isn't the worst thing to come out of hip hop, it is certainly terrible. He doesn't exactly help himself by pairing up with a very good singer, and then having a go himself. The result is well, laughable. I'm not sure it's 'irritating', but for the attempt I don't think he deserves to be on this list, remember the voice isn't the whole song, just a component.
#44 Meat Loaf - I'd Do Anything For Love (1993)
"Forget that this song comes from Bat Out of Hell II: Back Into Hell
and that pop albums can’t really have sequels. Forget that it’s 12
minutes — and crammed with pianos, choirs and every over-the-top
adornment that producer Jim Steinman could get his hands on, it feels
twice that length. No, this epic chunk of histrionics’ worst offense is
that it doesn’t make any sense. You wouldn’t do what, exactly? It’s OK for rock songs to be dumb. But not stupid."
It's the king of the unnecessarily long song, Meat Loaf, who repeatedly tries to look rock and roll but ends up looking like a sausage roll that's come alive. However the quality of his music is sometimes surprisingly good, including this ballad. I do think the lyrics are strange, and the whole premise behind the song is contradictory, but overall it doesn't sound too sad, it just drags a bit in the middle. Anybody else notice the irony of them complaining about a song being dumb, especially with the pathetic reasons they've just given.
#43 Uncle Kracker - Follow Me (2000)
"Breaking out on his own, the leading light of Kid Rock’s “Detroit
playas” reneges on his boss’s promise to “cause chaos” and “rock like
Amadeus.” He does, however, cause nausea and rock like Muzak with his
nobody-saw-it-coming lite-FM stylings, hummin’, strummin’ and
practically promisin’ to tuck you in at night. The unexpected bonus? It
gives hope to everyone awaiting the Terminator X collection of Air
Supply covers."
Can't say I'm too familiar with this one. Upon listening to it I will agree that it's bad, but it does have a certain charm about it. It doesn't try and do anything clever, it doesn't try and overcomplicate things, it just relies on it's basic qualities and earthly charms to get by, and I think it does this very well. Again the magazine focuses on why they don't like him rather than the actual song in a sort of pathetic whimsical tone that makes me physically sick just reading it.
#42 Simon & Garfunkel - The Sound of Silence (1965)
"From the terrible opening line, in which darkness is addressed as “my
old friend,” the lyrics of “The Sounds of Silence” sound like a vicious
parody of a pompous and pretentious mid-’60s folk singer. But it’s no
joke: While a rock band twangs aimlessly in the middle distance, Simon
& Garfunkel thunder away in voices that suggest they’re scowling
and wagging their fingers as they sing. The overall experience is like
being lectured on the meaning of life by a jumped-up freshman."
Right here we go, the first example of them being fucking morons, why the hell is this anywhere near the worst song list, it's a very good song. The opening line isn't terrible, it's fantastic, it perfectly sets the tone for the whole song. Referring to darkness as 'my old friend' is an example of personification, a powerful literary device when used effectively, like in this song, and so I'm amazed they can criticize a song for having meaning and significance. I don't know how they claim this sounds like a parody, I don't know when a harrowing tale of darkness is considered amusing, especially when Simon & Garfunkel are folk singers who reached their height of fame in, yep you guessed it, the mid 1960's. With a reason like that you can't help but laugh at the lack of intelligence and research that was undertaken to produce this bullshit list. They even said it themselves, a rock band twangs 'aimlessly'. Funny, I don't know why it would be aimless, it's not like the narrator of the song has lost all purpose and sense of direction, it's not like the 'middle distance' represents the narrator's loneliness and emptiness. Christ, even a fucking child could of worked that one out. There is no place for this on any worst song lists, for me it definitely sits around an 8/10.
#41 Billy Joel - We Didn't Start The Fire (1989)
"Despite its bombastic production, “We Didn’t Start the Fire” resembles a
term paper scribbled the night before it’s due. As the song progresses,
Joel audibly realizes he can’t cram it all in: The ’70s get four
bellowed words amid the widdly-woo guitars and meet-thy-maker
drums. The chorus denies responsibility for any events mentioned,
clearing up the common misconception that Billy Joel developed the
H-bomb."
Definitely not the finest moment of the legendary career of Billy Joel. For once I do actually agree with Blender and admit that the subject of the song is too complex to fit into 4 minutes, he gives it a good try, but in the end all we get is a jumbled and weak message that definitely doesn't reflect the important matter this song tries to address.
Horror movies, not my personal favorite I will admit, but I do enjoy a bit of blood and gore. I mean if you're going to kill someone you might as well do it in style. This is a list of my 10 personal favorite horror movie villains of all time, here are some honorable mentions:
The Thing: The film actually wasn't bad, even if the idea behind it was terrible. Still, it scares the shit out of you. Jigsaw: Not included as he doesn't do the killing himself, lazy bastard. But his sadistic games and scary persona mean he still remains intimidating, even for a cancer patient. Pennywise: Somehow manages to be less scary than the real life killer clown, he is still one fucked up clown though.
#10 Pinhead (Hellraiser)
Okay which other iconic horror movie villain can claim to have played with Motorhead, that already makes him pretty awesome. This Cenobite travels from an extra-dimensional realm to harvest the souls of innocent humans through extreme bondage and just generally mutilating them, what a brilliantly evil man he is. He also has supernatural powers that mean he can teleport and mutilate people with weapons such as hooks and just generally hurting people, still not convinced he's awesome, just look at him, he reeks of awesomeness, his iconic head just makes the character. He is however a bit British, not really on the same level as the rest of the list. But let's face it, it doesn't get much better than playing poker with Lemmy.
#9 Chucky (Child's Play)
Wanna Play? Never would I thought a doll could become this scary, but here he is on my top ten list, even if he is just a doll. Although to be fair to this doll he does contain the soul of former serial killer Charles Lee Ray who uses voodoo magic to inherit the soul of this demonic doll. His witty lines and iconic status really do make up for the lackluster sequels that litter this franchise. If Chucky isn't scary then he sure as hell is funny.
#8 The Poltergeist (Poltergeist)
An interesting choice you may think, but the fear of the unknown is often the greatest. This is a good example, the sheer brilliance of The Poltergeist is that it's never seen by the viewer, creating one of the scariest films I've ever seen. As does everyone else, this film frequently ranks highly in the various list of entertainment magazines for the scariest film of all time. Like with the previous villain, the sequels didn't do this one any favors either, but the original still makes me soil myself every time I watch it.
#7 Michael Myers (Halloween)
You may be thinking this is rather low, and it is compared to the popular opinions of various polls, but I do think Mike Myers is an overrated villain. Having said that he still is pretty awesome. His cold, calculated and emotionless killing make for some chilling appearances, and where as other villains might go for a brutal death, Mike Myers doesn't waste any energy, he just brutally murders them. It also doesn't help that you can't kill him, he simply is the personification of evil. Nowadays you can also find him in Call of Duty Ghosts where he has made a recent cameo, as a killstreak.
#6 Ghostface (Scream)
Based on the famous painting "The Scream" this mass murderer creates havoc in the fictional town of Woodsboro. Probably my favorite feature about him him, apart from the iconic mask, is his voice changer which he uses to mask his identity and intimidate his victims. The twist is that the viewer doesn't know who the killer is, the character changes each time which adds another layer of mystery to the plot. These films really did revive the slash horror genre when it needed it most.
#5 Samara Morgan (The Ring)
This film definitely isn't as scary as some people make it out to be, but the villain definitely is. Based off of Sadako Yamamura from the novel "Ring" this Japanese based horror villain is a demonic child that inhabits a cursed video tape that when watched means the viewer will die in 7 days. I'm not sure if that plot line is supposed to be clever, but if it is then it hasn't worked. The film though is very well done and relies on more minor details to scare the viewer rather than blood and gore, and it works very well, as this demonic girl still gives me nightmares.
#4 Leatherface (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre)
So far all the villains I've mentioned have had a clear motive for their killings, this one doesn't, he is quite simply mental. This villain is based off of real life serial killer Ed Gein who was famous for wearing a mask made out of human skin, there are definitely some interesting images of it on the internet, and it explains why Leatherface wears the iconic mask. The films basically show him ruining around like a lunatic with a chainsaw and then killing his inbred family, or people who walk too close to his house, that really is as complex as the plot gets. I know it's not exactly Sherlock Holmes but the original film shows how a film of a small budget can be very effective when done correctly.
#3 Jason Voorhees (Friday The 13th)
Probably the most iconic horror movie villain of all time. This crazed killer stalks the grounds of Camp Crystal Lake where he rounds up and kills raucous teenagers, which is a noble goal in my opinion, especially if they're directioners. Amazingly Jason wasn't even the primary antagonist of the original film, that was his mother, but Jason continues his mother's work like any other good son would do, and he's actually quite good at it, as he seemingly can't be killed. But of course his most iconic features are his machete, which he uses to slash through countless campers, and his brilliant old school hockey mask that hides his identity. It is by the look of it a Detroit Red Wings hockey mask which I thought he would be embarrassed to wear after there terrible playoffs performance, but then maybe his victims are Bruins fans.
#2 Freddy Kreuger (Nightmare On Elm Street)
This disfigured serial killer operates on another level, he kills his victims in their dreams, which somehow means there dead in real life. Horror films are never ones for realism, so I'll forgive him for that because that really is quite an awesome way to kill someone. Kreuger's most iconic features are his timeless outfit, nobody pulls off the striped sweater and fedora like Kreuger and coupled with the disfigured face and metal claws make him one of horror fan's favorite villains. When he's not killing people in their dreams he's now killing zombies in Call of Duty or tormenting the many characters of Mortal Kombat. Finish Him.
#1 Count Dracula (Dracula)
There really could be only one winner, the titular character of Bram Stoker's revolutionary novel. Nobody has influenced the horror genre anywhere near as much as Dracula, he is the archetypal vampire that all future films would follow, and mostly ruin in the case of Twilight. Probably the best thing about Dracula is just how fucking awesome he is, look at him, his suave and sinister personality is the epitome of cool, who would of thought he had a keen interest in The British Empire. But seriously has anyone had a more historic and legendary run in horror movies than the count, I don't think so, and that is why he is number one.
