Friday, 7 September 2018

Reviewing Bude Tunnel



How can you not be amazed by that masterpiece? When I first viewed Bude Tunnel on TripAdvisor I just knew I had to pay my respects. In all honesty I never expected my review to be published, yet alone reach double figures in likes. The best part however is that my review was actually quoted in The Sun newspaper, meaning some poor employee has had to sift through my bullshit claiming Bude Tunnel is a 'true engineering wonder of the world'.

I'll leave a copy of my review down below, but I highly reccomend a look at the other reviews of this amazing structure. Some of them are just brilliant.


'Bude Tunnel is quite simply a wonder of the modern world. As soon as I first gazed upon this glorious cylindrical masterpiece I knew I had found perfection in tunnel form. For me Bude Tunnel, The A282, and Teeside University are the most poignant examples of engineering excellence and morality found anywhere in the world. I'm truly shocked that any person would dare turn down an invitation to gaze upon the majesty of these marvels.

As I finished the last of my Stella cans from the nearby Sainsbury's I was struck by the sudden realisation that one could walk for such distance in a straight line without getting wet. But Bude Tunnel is far more than a shelter. Throughout my spiritual journey down the tunnel I fell in love with every stunning panel, every expertly placed metal beam, every misplaced shopping trolley. It's a British triumph on the same level as whole milk. A British victory over the elements and inefficient tunnel design of the same magnitude as Waterloo. I thank God every day that I was born at a time where I could witness Bude Tunnel. Whilst visiting an inferior tunnel in the picturesque cultural hub of Croydon I was reminded of these words:

'Into my heart an air that kills
From yon far country blows:
What are those blue remembered hills,
What spires, what farms are those?

That is the land of lost content,
I see it shining plain,
The happy highways where I went
And cannot come again.'

Bude Tunnel is a clear reminder that whatever the future of Britain holds we will still be able to rally behind the greatest monument the world has ever seen. It's a true symbol of The British Isles, and a beacon of sophistication to shine across the world. Brexit means Brexit.
'

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