Top 10 Xbox 360 Games Of All Time

Top 10 Xbox 360 Games

With the passing of another gaming generation I thought I would reminisce and pay tribute to what is, in my opinion, the greatest console of all time. Remember this is MY list, not yours, so there will probably be different opinions on display to your own, please keep that in mind before embarrassing yourself in the comments. Here are a few honorable mentions that just missed out:

Minecraft: It's a brilliant game, just a lot better on the PC
Mass Effect: Amazing story and vivid universe, but the visuals and gameplay were definitely not up to the standard they should've been, after all it did start my favorite gaming franchise of all time. But if you play the story through as the good guy, then prepare for the best climax of any game, ever.
Assassin's Creed 2: The best of a great series but it just feels a bit arcadey and repetitive, definitely saved by the historical storyline rather than the tiresome modern one.
Skyrim: It's great, no doubt about that. Just needs a difficulty level as it's far too easy, especially when you kill a dragon in about three shots without it landing a single hit on you. It also needs the protagonist to actually speak, I just don't connect to my character and in the end just sort of stop caring, and the soul cairn can fuck off. 

#10- Mortal Kombat (2011)

GET OVER HERE! Okay maybe this is a personal preference but there is no doubt that this is a great game. The reboot to the classic franchise was definitely a lot better than most peoples expectations and as a lifelong fan of the series I was amazed at how the 3D effects and brilliant combat system combined to make a gory yet incredibly enjoyable fighter. Unlike most games that fans avidly wait for, this one actually delivered with classic elements such as over the top gore and classic characters being combined with new innovative features such as a new combat system, that works an absolute treat, with all characters well balanced making character selection a strategy in itself.

The story is enjoyable, if predictable, especially if you're familiar with the original trilogy, but even lifelong fans will still enjoy seeing the more modern characters integrated into the story. The game is definitely suited for the PS3 controller which is why it's low on this list, but pick up an arcade stick and you will be pulling out people's spines in no time, worth every penny. FATALITY

#9- GTA V (2013)

The majority of you will be wondering why this is a lot lower than usual and that is in no small part to the PR disaster and the constant breaking of promises from what used to be my favorite company, Rockstar. However, there is no argument that GTA V is a technically brilliant game, brilliant mechanics, very good graphics, an excellent level of detail and a superb engine that really make use of everything the Xbox 360 has to offer, you get the feeling when playing it that you are playing with the very limits of the 360's technical capacity and every inch of power has been squeezed out in order to make the game. The new features work brilliantly, the three characters, if stereotypical, work in tandem and switching between them is a treat. The heist missions are also brilliant and my only complaint would be that there isn't enough of them and the story does tend to lag behind in the filler between them.

My main issue with the story is that I feel it plays it safe, the ending is entirely predictable and doesn't feel special, especially when compared to other GTA games. It definitely frustrates me that a game as forward thinking as this has such a basic plot that only really does enough to get buy. Still, it is a brilliant gaming experience and definitely a fitting finale for one of the all time great consoles.

#8- Far Cry 3 (2012)

Far Cry over GTA, you must think I'm insane, but did I ever tell you the definition of insanity? Insanity is doing the exact same fucking thing over and over again expecting shit to change. That is my reasoning, Far Cry has Vaas, GTA has a stereotypical mobster, haven't seen that one before. Far Cry just excels at what makes open world games great, brilliant side missions, fantastic combat and a brilliant storyline right up until the later half where it starts to become a bit dull. This is my main issue with Far Cry, the first half of the story is absolutely brilliant, Vaas is an amazing antagonist and so of course when he inevitably departs, the story looses its sparkle. The protagonist is also the classic Ubisoft dick and in the end he just becomes insufferable, this could of been one of the best games of all time if they had just cut the campaign in half. Still, the game is brilliant and in my opinion better than GTA by a mile.

#7- Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (2007)

So this is where it all began, and the world had never seen anything like it. This is the blueprint of all modern shooters, a Led Zeppelin if you will of the video game industry. The multiplayer mode is just so mindblowingly forward thinking, the leap forward between the previous games is unbelievable. No matter how hard Battlefield tries or their stupid fanbase excretes all over the internet their pretentious bullshit, this will go down as the greatest shooter of all time.

The story is also excellent, even when the pace slows down it still feels solid and then if it does begin to tire it ramps the tempo up at just the right time. It definitely does something that no other COD has done, and that is feel unpredictable, that definitely makes the campaign another brilliant experience, which when combined with brilliantly fun multiplayer creates an excellent game.

#6- GTA IV (2008)

This might turn a few heads but I generally feel that this was a much better title than its successor. This does everything GTA V does, just a bit better, especially considering that this game was released five years before its successor and therefore I feel slightly more influential. Sure the shooting and general mechanics of the game are nowhere near as good as five's, but this game succeeds in a much more compelling story that unlike five's is unpredictable and actually has a good ending with much more dynamic characters and a game that actually works, see it can be done Rockstar. GTA V was nowhere near as influential as this, when this was released there was nothing on the market even remotely like it and for that it deserves to be higher.

#5- Forza Motorsport 4 (2011)

Turn 10 must be the only game studio that can churn out brilliant game after brilliant game without it becoming tiring, I don't think there has ever been an underwhelming Forza, which certainly made this decision hard. I certainly loved Forza Horizon, it took the series into new directions and as something a little bit different it was quite simply brilliant, However, I look for more realism in a driving game, I feel the open world aspects of racing games is stacked with other excellent titles where as when it comes to realistic racers there are really only two, Forza and GT. Gran Turismo certainly used to be a better title, but now the ultimate racer has to go to Forza.

This racer simply has everything, 500 customizable cars to choose from, stunning graphics, brilliant audio and to top it off Jeremy Clarkson talking through your favorite cars. It definitely isn't just looks though as this is without the doubt the ultimate simulator, the physics are so beautifully worked that it does make you feel like you are actually driving the car and with so many events to choose from you will never get bored. Quite simply the greatest driving game of all time.

#4- LA Noire (2011)

I like it when game companies take a risk, because when they work they really hit the mark. This game can be summed up in word, stunning. The game is also incredibly unique with nothing else that fits into this genre, it's definitely different, and I appreciate that. The main draw of this game for me is the visuals, I have never seen a game look this good, some of the visuals are stunning and the facial recognition system works an absolute treat, maybe even too well as sometimes the tells are a bit obvious during interrogation scenes.

The plot is also brilliant, to people who say video games can't contain a good storyline then fuck them, the plot in this game is five thousand times better than the majority of films and almost plays out like a novel creating a very enjoyable, gripping and engaging experience, something that Heavy Rain has since tried to emulate. While this game certainly isn't for everyone, especially for the usual Rockstar fanbase who would probably get bored after 5 minutes due to the lack of combat, but screw them. This brilliant game tells a brilliantly scripted dark tale that actually forces the player to use their brain, and when you do it creates an epic and totally unique experience

#3- Mass Effect 2 & Mass Effect 3 (2010, 2012)

The very best gaming series from the king of RPGs, I simply love the Mass Effect universe. I love it so much that I really cannot decide between two and three, they are both amazing but both have some annoying faults, I couldn't split them hence my decision. Two was a massive improvement to the already excellent first installment. The core gameplay was completely overhauled with a new, very impressive engine that creates outstanding action sequences and lush visuals. The RPG elements to this game are the best of any I've ever played, the decisions that you make directly affect the narrative which makes the experience more engaging and puts real pressure on the player to make the correct choice. My only real criticism for this game is the linear storyline, which only really is a prequel to the third installment meaning it definitely doesn't feel as epic as the first game.

Contrary to popular opinions, I loved the third installment just as much as the second. I stand by my opinion that the combat system in this game is the best of all time with brilliantly balanced guns and customization, there is even a difficulty level that makes the game incredibly easy if you just want to follow the narrative, great idea, I wish more games would use that, or at least include a difficulty level, Skyrim. The visuals are as good as ever and the plethora of varied characters returns to create a brilliant gaming experience. I also highly recommend the first set of DLC that is absolutely amazing, definitely the best DLC of all time. The plot is definitely improved from the second game, this time it feels a lot more risky and the dark undertone creates an emotional and engaging experience right up to the end, that is my only criticism. The ending, although dramatically epic, wasn't really explained and in the end the fantastic decision making from the previous games felt rather pointless as all the outcomes were more or less the same. However, this is a small price to pay for two amazing games. I can't wait to see what Bioware does with the series next. 

#2- Call of Duty 6: Modern Warfare 2 (2009)

How do you follow up the greatest shooter of all time, like this of course. Anyone who hates Call of Duty clearly hasn't played this. Firstly the story is vintage Call of Duty narrative crossed with some excellent missions and a brilliant twist that, like the fourth game made the plot feel unpredictable and exciting. Controversial, yes, but ask Eric Bischoff and he will tell you that controversy creates cash, and boy did it. However, the main reason I love this game so much is the almost perfect multiplayer. For the first, and only time, Call of Duty featured a variety of well balanced guns, brilliant action packed maps, a balanced perk system and the signature ranking system that has truly made Call of Duty a staple of the gaming community. Arguably the fourth game did have these features, but I find that Modern Warfare 2 took these as a basis and then improved on them, with great effect. I find with the newer versions of this franchise that the developers have tried to force players to adopt a playing style that the developers want, but in Modern Warfare 2 you weren't punished for a different playing style and so I feel any fan of the genre can still have a good time. Sure, it might not be a technical masterpiece, and spec ops side missions are nowhere near as fun as zombies, but who cares. It's just so much fun.


#1- Red Dead Redemption (2010)

It couldn't really be anything else, the gaming equivalent of perfection, I regularly run out of superlatives to describe this game. This masterpiece is just the culmination of everything I love about gaming, vast, dynamic worlds, an amazing narrative with brilliantly portrayed characters and some of the best visuals there are to offer, this game has it all. There really isn't anything wrong with this game, whether you're riding off into the sunset to meet your long lost family while being chased by bears or playing a great game of poker, this game never fails to put a smile on your face. Just brilliant, an ode to the Xbox 360 and a fitting tribute.

Music Review: Can't Remember To Forget You

Shakira- Can't Remember To Forget You ft. Rihanna

Good god almighty, how this is not considered pornography I am yet to understand, quite hard to take a song like this seriously when you're throwing away soggy tissues, you definitely remember it though. The song is meant to be a little bit different from your average pop song with elements of reggae but as far as I can tell it still seems like a standard pop song apart from maybe five seconds from the beginning. This style has been compared with The Police which I'm sure is another way of saying boring or that it's a pop rock track, I'm sure John Lennon must be turning in his grave.

I can't seem to understand the title, it doesn't make sense. She can remember to forget him as she's singing about it and you don't remember to forget someone because that would just be remembering, not forgetting, just confusing really. The song is obviously about a guy that Shakira still loves even though she hates him, a theme that has been taken from a list of about a million songs, so nothing different there. Shakira herself said "I think every woman has been through that. This song is not exactly a reflection of my personal life right now." What this probably means is that we're going to get a very stereotypical pop song with shallow lyrics because it isn't something personal to the singer. It would be like me making a song about the currency of Norway, I don't care about that, it's not a personal issue or interest and so it's almost certainly going to be rubbish and lacking in any creativity.

To be honest the song actually starts out very well, it's definitely something a little different from the usual pop songs of today. The beat is good and the verses set up what should be a very good chorus. Unfortunately they don't quite do this as the chorus is terribly constructed and only consists of wailing and repetition which really isn't good. The change in tempo isn't necessary either and it quickly dies down into another decent verse after another. I'm not really sure why Rihanna is needed in this song, I'm not saying she's bad but her appearance doesn't really seem necessary and I'm pretty sure Shakira could of writhed around the sofa with very little clothing on just as well on her own. I just feel Rihanna is there to boost the sales, which she almost certainly will. If there's one this song is it is underwhelming, the star power on display should combine to create a better song this, it just seems a bit safe, nothing special as the lyrics will now demonstrate:

 I left a note on my bedpost
Said not to repeat
Yesterday's mistakes
What I tend to do
When it comes to you
I see only the good
Selective memory
The way he makes me feel, yeah
Gotta hold on me
I've never met someone so different

Leaving a note on your bedpost, yep unless your lover is a stalker or a burglar then they are going to have no idea of your intentions, but that's women for you. She only sees the good, must be why she left him, I mean women often leave men because they're too good, it does mean her opinions of him are going to be biased throughout the rest of the song which is always a good sign.

  Oh here we go
He a part of me now
He a part of me
So where you go I follow, follow, follow

Oh, so much of this not repeating crap, she's now bloody following him, that's women for you.

Oh, oh, oooh, oh
Oh, oh, oooh, oh
I can't remember to forget you
Oh, oh, oooh, oh
Oh, oh, oooh, oh
I keep forgetting I should let you go
But when you look at me
The only memory is us kissing in the moonlight
Oh, oh, oooh, oh
Oh, oh, oooh, oh
I can't remember to forget you

Jesus, just write it on your hand, then you won't forget, although you obviously do remember as you're singing about it. This is just about a women living in denial, quite tragic really. Rihanna now begins:

I go back again
Fall off the train
Land in his bed
Repeat yesterday's mistakes
What I'm trying to say is not to forget
You see only the good, selective memory
The way he makes me feel like
The way he makes me feel
I never seemed to act so stupid
Oh here we go
He a part of me now
He a part of me
So where he goes I follow

(Chorus)

Landing in someones bed by falling off a train, impressive, he must live in a field or something, I mean why doesn't she just wait for the next station, you can get seriously hurt falling off trains and I would never want anything like that to happen to anybody, especially Shakira. Rihanna also has a speech impediment as she can't say a simple phrase, even if she can't say it it still means she REMEMBERS, this isn't making any sense. Rihanna also seems to have the mating ritual of an angler fish, as the male becomes conjoined to the female and eventually they form a single organism. There's a nice fact for you, thank me later.

I rob and I kill to keep him with me
I do anything for that boy
I'd give my last dime to hold him tonight
I do anything for that boy (x2)

(Chorus)

Well this has taken a dark turn, fuck me she's a maniac, if I was that boy I would get the hell out of there, but as long as she's giving her last dime to me then I really don't care what she does.

Matt Negyedi logged onto Amazon to say:
"masterpiece from Shakira. unique, new and amazing. The album called Shakira is out on the 25th of march. buy it."
Well this certainly isn't a masterpiece, not even close. I guess you can say it's unique, I wouldn't necessarily praise it for that though seeing as it is quite similar to most other pop songs in the charts at the moment, but it definitely does stand out. New, yes because that makes everything brilliant, here's some of my feces, freshly made this morning. Thanks for the plug but I definitely won't be buying it, especially since it's free on the internet.

Keith Murphy reviewed the song on Vibe, commenting:
"it takes on a surreal energy with the likes of Rihanna handling the reigns. When she follows up Shakira’s helpless plea with the ironic lyrics, “I go back again/Fall off the train/Land in his bed/Repeat yesterday's mistakes,” you are instantly reminded of her turbulent love affair with Chris Brown. It’s a reality that gives “Can’t Remember to Forget You.” 
Energy, guess I must have missed something, it was quite plain to me. Irony is a comedic device and so it doesn't really belong in what is essentially a serious song, especially when murdering is involved. It was the Chris Brown affair that made me loose all sympathy with Rihanna and therefore I have no sympathy for the person in this song, it's not reality it's someone being a twat.

Overall I can't help feeling a little underwhelmed by this song, all the signs were there and I did predict that it would be poor from the start but with the star power on display I expected something extra, but in the end all I got was two very attractive ladies flaunting around on a bed. It does try and be something different, and for that I will give it credit, but it still can't escape that standard pop feeling with its generic lyrics and nothing to really separate it from the rest of the crowd. A nice try but I expected a lot more from these two.

Final Score 4/10 **

Music Review: Waka Waka

Shakira - Waka Waka

Due to the world cup being just a few short months away, this time from the greedy bastards that call their country Brazil, because they really needed the World Cup as well as the Olympics, they haven't even given me any views, bastards. Indonesia on the other hand, great place for a World Cup. With all joking aside this was the song selected to represent the nation of South Africa from the very South African Shakira with a token South African group in the back. She is very attractive though, and that's all I have to say about Shakira apart from the fact she never knows what language to release her next song in.This becomes incredibly problematic, especially with this number, as it actually combines three, meaning I have to translate it. Brilliant, even Google Translate can't do three.

The song appears to be stolen by Fozzy Bear, that's where I assume it came from anyway, certainly not meaning "come, come" or "do it". The internet seemed very divided over the meaning of this phrase but all I will say is when you look at it it gives a whole new meaning to the Muppet franchise, seriously though I hope they're getting royalties for this. There are thousands more jokes I could make about the title but for now all I will say is thank you for encouraging me to 'come' Shakira, that is in one of my many dreams, but with your dancing I already am.

The song begins with a native intro that I could've mistaken for a didgeridoo but then my knowledge of traditional African instruments isn't that great, last time I checked it was drums and spears with the occasional civil war, so I will accept that it's an African instrument of some sort, zero chance that it was made by a computer, zero, at least it wasn't a vuvuzela or I'd shove it straight up her ass and take a lot of pleasure in doing that. To be honest though the intro is definitely a welcome addition, it really does fit the genre and there is certainly a traditional African theme in the foreground. I will definitely give the song this, it is a lot of fun, it sometimes tries to be a serious song but always feels quite light hearted which is why I do get slightly annoyed when Shakira tries to bring modern politics into it. At the end of the day it should never take itself as a serious song, which I think it tries to, it should be a song about football and advertising South Africa, not political messages. The actual verses seem to descend into what seems like a rushed affair as the smooth backing track is interrupted by the constant switch from one dialect to another, never staying on one for too long meaning you do loose track of the plot of the song. The lyrics go something along the lines of this:

You're a good soldier
Choosing your battles
Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and back in the saddle
You're on the front line
Everyone's watching
You know it's serious we're getting closer, this isn't over

No, they're not good soldiers, they're good footballers. Soldiers don't tend to writhe around on the floor after they were lightly touched by the opposition, and since when did soldiers choose their battles, I thought they obeyed orders, they certainly do in the films I've seen. Sorry for being pedantic but not everybody is watching. FIFA claimed that 3.2 billion people watched the final, which is probably a massive lie, but that would only be 44% of the world's population, so the lyric should be 44% of people are watching, not everyone.

The pressure is on
You feel it
But you've got it all
Believe it
When you get down oh oh
And if you get up eh eh
Tsamina mina zangalewa
'Cause this is Africa

Tsamina mina zangalewa means where did you come from, because this is Africa. Is she implying that Africa is racist or suggesting that there still isn't race equality in that part of the world, who knows, although that line is probably there to remind people that this is about Africa, because you never know, they might miss the next line, or the five thousand other references to Africa throughout the entire song.

(Chorus)

Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka waka eh eh
Tsamina mina zangalewa
This time for Africa

Where did you come from and then do it, either my translation is horribly wrong or this song doesn't make any sense, to be honest it's probably both.

Listen to your God
This is our motto
Your time to shine don't wait in line y vamos por todo
People are raising
Their expectations
Go on and feed them this is your moment no hesitations

y vamos por todo means we are everything, which for some unknown reason has to be in Spanish, you know in case you got confused with the last change in language. All this to describe a game of over payed twats thinking they're in some way special kicking a spherical object towards a rather large net and somehow missing most of the time.

Today's your day
I feel it
You paved the way
Believe it
If you get down get up oh oh
When you get down get up eh eh

(Chorus)

Shakira here addressing the important and controversial issue of diving in football.

Ame la mejole biggi biggi mubbo wa A to Z
Asi tsu zala makyuni biggi biggi mubbo from East to West
Asi waga waga ma eh eh waga waga ma eh eh
Tendency suna tsibuye 'cause this is Africa (Africa, Africa Africa)

(Chorus)

Not even going to try, sounds like the noise Steven Hawking would make if he short circuits. The rest is the same half African half English chorus, so yes, the song does get quite repetitive, especially for a 3 minute number.

Now let's see what other people thought of this song, Dark Knight logged onto Amazon to say:
"Shakira is the best and is one of the greatest talents of our times! The lyrics, music, dancing skills, everything is extra ordinary."
It might just be me, but I think this guy quite likes Shakira, the fandom does get a bit too much as it obviously clouds his judgment. Shakira is a good talent, at singing into a computer, it's not as if she's ever picked up a guitar and started playing and singing at the same time, as far as I'm concerned she's just a computer which isn't very talented at all. However, she is a very talented linguist which does mean you can never understand her bloody songs, so no Dark Knight the song doesn't have great lyrics as they couldn't even be bothered to translate them and your other categories that according to you define a brilliant song are rather shallow. The song definitely isn't extra ordinary, it's average at best.

Entertainment Weekly said:
"The hooks here are nowhere near as indelible or inventive as those on last year’s awesome She Wolf, but they’ll do."
Christ people are easily pleased, since when was the very average She Wolf considered awesome, the only hooks I could get from it were annoying animal noises which is just stupid, not inventive.

Overall then the song fails at what the majority of pop songs nowadays try, it wants to become something more than it actually is. The song should be about celebrating football but instead we get this weak political message coming through that really doesn't belong in a pop song. It's also not very easy when nobody understands the message because you keep changing the bloody language every two lines. It certainly isn't a terrible song and I suppose it does try and keep to its feel good feeling for the majority, it's the overcomplicated lyrics that let it down, and the stealing off an innocent puppet that makes a living by telling bad jokes, are you happy now Shakira.

Final Score: 4/10 **