Music Review: Waka Waka

Shakira - Waka Waka

Due to the world cup being just a few short months away, this time from the greedy bastards that call their country Brazil, because they really needed the World Cup as well as the Olympics, they haven't even given me any views, bastards. Indonesia on the other hand, great place for a World Cup. With all joking aside this was the song selected to represent the nation of South Africa from the very South African Shakira with a token South African group in the back. She is very attractive though, and that's all I have to say about Shakira apart from the fact she never knows what language to release her next song in.This becomes incredibly problematic, especially with this number, as it actually combines three, meaning I have to translate it. Brilliant, even Google Translate can't do three.

The song appears to be stolen by Fozzy Bear, that's where I assume it came from anyway, certainly not meaning "come, come" or "do it". The internet seemed very divided over the meaning of this phrase but all I will say is when you look at it it gives a whole new meaning to the Muppet franchise, seriously though I hope they're getting royalties for this. There are thousands more jokes I could make about the title but for now all I will say is thank you for encouraging me to 'come' Shakira, that is in one of my many dreams, but with your dancing I already am.

The song begins with a native intro that I could've mistaken for a didgeridoo but then my knowledge of traditional African instruments isn't that great, last time I checked it was drums and spears with the occasional civil war, so I will accept that it's an African instrument of some sort, zero chance that it was made by a computer, zero, at least it wasn't a vuvuzela or I'd shove it straight up her ass and take a lot of pleasure in doing that. To be honest though the intro is definitely a welcome addition, it really does fit the genre and there is certainly a traditional African theme in the foreground. I will definitely give the song this, it is a lot of fun, it sometimes tries to be a serious song but always feels quite light hearted which is why I do get slightly annoyed when Shakira tries to bring modern politics into it. At the end of the day it should never take itself as a serious song, which I think it tries to, it should be a song about football and advertising South Africa, not political messages. The actual verses seem to descend into what seems like a rushed affair as the smooth backing track is interrupted by the constant switch from one dialect to another, never staying on one for too long meaning you do loose track of the plot of the song. The lyrics go something along the lines of this:

You're a good soldier
Choosing your battles
Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and back in the saddle
You're on the front line
Everyone's watching
You know it's serious we're getting closer, this isn't over

No, they're not good soldiers, they're good footballers. Soldiers don't tend to writhe around on the floor after they were lightly touched by the opposition, and since when did soldiers choose their battles, I thought they obeyed orders, they certainly do in the films I've seen. Sorry for being pedantic but not everybody is watching. FIFA claimed that 3.2 billion people watched the final, which is probably a massive lie, but that would only be 44% of the world's population, so the lyric should be 44% of people are watching, not everyone.

The pressure is on
You feel it
But you've got it all
Believe it
When you get down oh oh
And if you get up eh eh
Tsamina mina zangalewa
'Cause this is Africa

Tsamina mina zangalewa means where did you come from, because this is Africa. Is she implying that Africa is racist or suggesting that there still isn't race equality in that part of the world, who knows, although that line is probably there to remind people that this is about Africa, because you never know, they might miss the next line, or the five thousand other references to Africa throughout the entire song.

(Chorus)

Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka waka eh eh
Tsamina mina zangalewa
This time for Africa

Where did you come from and then do it, either my translation is horribly wrong or this song doesn't make any sense, to be honest it's probably both.

Listen to your God
This is our motto
Your time to shine don't wait in line y vamos por todo
People are raising
Their expectations
Go on and feed them this is your moment no hesitations

y vamos por todo means we are everything, which for some unknown reason has to be in Spanish, you know in case you got confused with the last change in language. All this to describe a game of over payed twats thinking they're in some way special kicking a spherical object towards a rather large net and somehow missing most of the time.

Today's your day
I feel it
You paved the way
Believe it
If you get down get up oh oh
When you get down get up eh eh

(Chorus)

Shakira here addressing the important and controversial issue of diving in football.

Ame la mejole biggi biggi mubbo wa A to Z
Asi tsu zala makyuni biggi biggi mubbo from East to West
Asi waga waga ma eh eh waga waga ma eh eh
Tendency suna tsibuye 'cause this is Africa (Africa, Africa Africa)

(Chorus)

Not even going to try, sounds like the noise Steven Hawking would make if he short circuits. The rest is the same half African half English chorus, so yes, the song does get quite repetitive, especially for a 3 minute number.

Now let's see what other people thought of this song, Dark Knight logged onto Amazon to say:
"Shakira is the best and is one of the greatest talents of our times! The lyrics, music, dancing skills, everything is extra ordinary."
It might just be me, but I think this guy quite likes Shakira, the fandom does get a bit too much as it obviously clouds his judgment. Shakira is a good talent, at singing into a computer, it's not as if she's ever picked up a guitar and started playing and singing at the same time, as far as I'm concerned she's just a computer which isn't very talented at all. However, she is a very talented linguist which does mean you can never understand her bloody songs, so no Dark Knight the song doesn't have great lyrics as they couldn't even be bothered to translate them and your other categories that according to you define a brilliant song are rather shallow. The song definitely isn't extra ordinary, it's average at best.

Entertainment Weekly said:
"The hooks here are nowhere near as indelible or inventive as those on last year’s awesome She Wolf, but they’ll do."
Christ people are easily pleased, since when was the very average She Wolf considered awesome, the only hooks I could get from it were annoying animal noises which is just stupid, not inventive.

Overall then the song fails at what the majority of pop songs nowadays try, it wants to become something more than it actually is. The song should be about celebrating football but instead we get this weak political message coming through that really doesn't belong in a pop song. It's also not very easy when nobody understands the message because you keep changing the bloody language every two lines. It certainly isn't a terrible song and I suppose it does try and keep to its feel good feeling for the majority, it's the overcomplicated lyrics that let it down, and the stealing off an innocent puppet that makes a living by telling bad jokes, are you happy now Shakira.

Final Score: 4/10 **