Top 10 Worst Songs Of 2013

2013 has been a very bad year for music, it's just the same old crap coming out over and over again with just a sheer lack of creativity. There are so many songs I want to put on my list but there are just too many, so I made a few ground rules. A song will be disqualified from the list if it is a comedy song, a viral song or unheard of. These are a few of the songs that just missed out:

Bruno Mars - Treasure: Just awful, tasteless, shallow and very annoying. Bruno Mars just needs to fuck off in my opinion.
Katy Perry - Roar: Insanely annoying and overplayed, and those bloody ah ah ah noises during the chorus are just insufferable.
Cher Lloyd - I Wish: This is the usual crap that spurts out of this annoying brats mouth. She has not produced one song that would even be considered average yet. It's disqualified due to the fact that it only reached a painful 117th in the US charts.
Without further ado let's begin.

#10 Major Lazer - Bubble Butt

Let's have a look at the lyrics shall we:

Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt
Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt 
Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt

Yep that is literally the whole hook.

OK, open up your Bubba Gump, let me see your bumper
The booty so smooth, can't believe is not butter
I go in from under, she wetter than a surfer
I ate the pussy fast, I'm about to start burpin'.   

Real sophisticated lyrics there. I don't think I really need any more evidence as to why I put this on my list.

#9 Kesha - Crazy Kids

Well if it isn't my favorite, skanky hooker in the whole world. This shitty song could only be made worse by the presence of Will.i.am. There are so many grammatical inaccuracies in his name it makes me shudder so I'm calling him William from now on. But, wait this song does actually feature William, so it's an all star lineup here.

Both their voices are so annoying, it just makes this song unbearable. Kesha's voice is so auto tuned it just becomes irritating and William manages to reach new lows by mumbling like a kid with down syndrome. The whistling just sound like someone with asthma and the acoustic element that this song has been praised for is soon lost over all that bass and synthesized crap. The song just sounds so processed and artificial that it takes away any merit it otherwise would have warranted, which wasn't much.

Just terrible, but then I've come to expect that from Kesha. 

#8 Miley Cyrus - We Can't Stop

What hasn't already been said about this song. I don't think it's as bad as everyone makes it out to be, at least Miley doesn't give a shit about the fact that she's gone bad. I mean, it was always going to happen and this song is just the conformation. The surprise is that the song is quite dull, for this new approach I was hoping for something more fringe but instead we get this really slow, irregular beat that makes it hard for this song to be taken seriously. The lyrics are pretty stupid too. It's like she's been living in North Korea all this time and she's suddenly regained her human rights, why the hell would people stop you singing?

This song is usually the type of crap I attribute with Rihanna and so I am surprised Miley would release what seems to be a rushed song that doesn't really do anything apart from repeatedly reminding us that Miley is a big girl now and she does big grown up things like snort coke. What a fucking waste. On an unrelated note I actually quite liked Wrecking Ball so don't expect it to appear on this list.

Tied #7 One Direction - Best Song Ever/One Way Or Another

Oh One Direction can just fuck off, and hopefully they will in about five years but for now I have to sit through this crap whilst there moronic fan base dominate social networking sites with it. You can probably connect the dots and notice why I have put these songs on here, It's plagiarism.

This annoys me so much in modern music. No creativity, well then why don't we steal something else. The worst thing is they credit for it, like they made it themselves. I have said in the past that using another artists work is acceptable if you adapt it, using it as a base, but One Direction are a fucking joke. Best Song Ever hurts me the most as they have blatantly stolen from one of my favorite songs of all time. The intro to Baba O'Riley was absolutely brilliant and now I have to watch as it is ruined by some egotistical, talentless twats. To be honest I'm amazed it's still being sold as it is one of the most pathetic attempts to blatantly copy another artists work. The insult here though is the name. Fuck me, even Helen Keller would agree with me that it quite clearly isn't, and that it's fucking stolen.

One Way Or Another is of course a classic Blondie song, again, another song that I like ruined by these morons. Oh no wait they have adapted it, by adding more moments where I just want to punch them in the face as they have managed to blend it with another stolen song. Un-fucking-believable they can't even write half a song, so they steal two. It's no wonder that this generation is so screwed up when they have these imbeciles to look up to who think it's okay to steal other people's work and claim it as their own. I may complain about Justin Bieber but at least he performs his own fucking songs. Jesus Christ.

#6 Karmin - Acapella

The first thing that annoys me about this song is the incorrect title. It shouldn't be Acapella, it should be 'a capella'. Now trust me I've done this style of music before and I can confirm that it is not easy, instead of actually trying though Karmin just seems to give up. The term A cappela means without instrumental sound but this song clearly has a lot of sound, which is a lot more than none at all. in fact her voice has been horrendously auto tuned defeating all the laws of music. The lyrics are also interesting:

 You and me are through though, watch me hit it solo
I'mma do it acapella, yeah

I think she misunderstands the term 'a capella'. It doesn't mean going solo, it means without instruments. Wow, she doesn't even know what she's fucking singing about. The rest of the lyrics are equally as shallow, an I'm not even going to review the beat since their SHOULDN'T BE ONE. What a fucking stupid song although it thankfully didn't chart very well hence why it is not further up on this list. For some good examples of this style try For The Longest Time or anything by Smooth McGroove.

#5 Drake - Started From The Bottom

God, this is the usual crap we expect from Drake. Endlessly repeating the chorus until my ears bleed doesn't make a good song, neither does saying nigga after every fucking line. My biggest problem with the song is that it's utter bullshit, Drake doesn't even know what the bottom looks like. He is the son of a teacher and they lived in Forest Hill which is one of the wealthiest suburbs of Toronto. He was on fucking Canadian TV when he was 15 that payed him 30 grand a year, I could only dream of earning that amount of money when I was 15. I also see this song as his chance to brag about what he has achieved, which I can't stand. I know you're successful now please fuck off, I don't want to keep hearing about it. At least it isn't horrendously auto tuned.

#4 Sage The Gemini - Gas Pedal

This one must have taken ages to write. It just repeats Gas Pedal over and over proving the lack of creativity in modern music, that's not a hook, it's just torture. Why would people pay money for this piece of crap, you can say gas pedal 15 million times for free and hey maybe at the end you might get to keep your sanity. Sage The Gemini has the charisma of a potato and so in the end it is just a guy saying gas pedal 5 million times. Do I really need to say anything else about this shit to justify its position, didn't think so, moving on.

#3 Robin Thicke - Blurred Lines

Before I start my penis highly recommends the explicit version, that is this songs only saving grace.

Now that's out the way I can begin by saying what a dick Robin Thicke looks in the thumbnail and how the hell did this song sell. All it is is a stupid generic beat, crappy lyrics that seem to just be misogynistic because they can and what sounds like five songs running with each other, either that or everybody forgot their cue on when to come in as what follows is just a shamble of people shouting hey every two bloody seconds.

The song has unfortunately fed off of the controversies it has created and like We Can't Stop I just can't figure out what all the fuss is about, everything this song is hyped up to be just seems to end up being disappointing. In the end the somg just sounds a bit rapey and it goes on forever, it just never seems to end and becomes increasingly repetitive in the search for some filler, I would go as far to say the song is boring and definitely does not deserve all the hype it has been getting.

#2 Fatboy Slim - Eat, Sleep, Rave, Repeat

Bet you can't guess the lyrics to this one. But wait there are some fucking stupid stories told in-between for five fucking minutes. They try and haul in Calvin Harris, who let's face it has always been a bit shit, to try and polish the turd, except this is worse than a turd, you can judge that for yourselves by just listening to it. Just fucking stupid, somehow there was something even worse.

#1 Will.i.am #thatPower

Argh, the grammar in the title just makes me vomit. As do the artists, not only do I have to put up with chief bellend William but also fucking Justin Bieber. Rarely in my life do I hear such an insult to music. I don't know what it is with the title but this trend of putting hashtags in front of everything needs to stop as it just makes the artists look like twats, probably because they are. I wouldn't care so much if the song made one reference to these social networking trends but it doesn't. Just utterly hopeless.

The song is so horrendously autotuned it sounds like fucking Daft Punk, who to be fair can at least produce a good beat unlike this crappy song. let's have a look at some of the lyrics:

They call me will-A
Stay so cool, I'm chilli
I done made that maley
On my way to that valet
Used to have a piggy bank,
But now I got that bigger bank
Who who cares what the haters say
They hate on me cause we doing what they can't

Oh fuck me, I though William was supposed to be a rapper but he rhymes bank with itself, what a fucking wordsmith. This horrible slant rhyme just sounds shit. I'm sorry but Will-A, which isn't a word last time I checked, has been rhymed with chilli which clearly doesn't rhyme. Another thing that annoys me is that William thinks he's somewhat talented. Not only could I do better than that but so could anything, it often sounds better when I'm having a shit.

Justin Bieber, predictably, adds absolutely nothing to this song apart from 9 year old girl dance moves that just makes him looks like he's desperate for the toilet. I can't work out why Justin Bieber is needed he just seems to brag that he's alive, suppose he's got nothing else going for him, he can't sing, he can't dance, it just seems breathing is the only thing he can do well.

This song is just one big fucking joke. never before have I got the feeling to end my life before in a four minute song. It seems its only purpose is to waste time while William pockets some of that 'hard earned' cash he's earned by being a corporate whore. I hope I never have to endure anything as bad as this for the rest of my life.