Top 5 Worst Video Games Of 2013

#5 SimCity

Man, I had been waiting for this, a decade to be exact, from the brilliant SimCity 4 that unfortunately doesn't like my computer and so this game for me would be its replacement. The general gameplay is good, the zoning features are good and buildings and transport systems benefit greatly with the neat upgrade system. The new GlassBox engine is also very good, it's not amazing but it does produce some neat and pleasant visuals that add to what should be a very good overall simulation game.

However, now we come to the elephant in the corner, which you've probably all heard about. The Fucking always online connection shit. For those of you who have read some of my reviews will know that I hate this. I accept that the future of gaming will consist of these games and I do enjoy games that need this system, such as The Old Republic. But what I don't like is games that have no need for it, such as this or Assassin's Creed 2. The multiplayer is great fun but shouldn't be the key focus in a simulation game.

I also think this is quite a shallow simulation game. I love simulation games to be deep and detailed but this really isn't. The depth that the series has reached in the past with huge cities recreated in SimCity 3000 is definitely the predominant reason why I love this franchise, in this game all you get is a tiny amount of room which you can barely build a tribal village in and I'm sitting there wondering why I can't build on all the space that's been wasted. In SimCity 3000 I used to get lost in my cities they got so big.

In what has been a terrible year for EA this game just is just the tip of a large iceberg made of shit, and that iceberg better be gone before Battlefront 3 comes out or that will be another childhood series they will have ruined, and now I am going to have to wait another fucking decade for the SimCity that deserves to be on my computer, if the world hasn't upgraded to giant computers the size of buildings hoisted up on hydraulic legs, shitting on people who pay with micro transactions. Oh I can only dream.

#4 Aliens Colonial Marines

Damn, I was hyped for this, until inevitably the bad reviews came flooding in and I may have just spent 40 pounds shitting in a drain. I just love the Alien film franchise and so I was waiting for a proper game to reflect the film's sheer brilliance, so as I soon as i knew there was an Alien game coming out I jumped right on the bandwagon. That usually ends well, but I was surprised at how badly it actually went. The next surprise is that Gearbox allowed this to happen, a company with an impeccable set of credentials actually allowed what is essentially an unfinished game onto the market, even after being delayed for about 15,000 years. Sometimes I forget that I am playing a game that does appear to have been made in 2003, and even then it would seem disappointing.

The game just felt like it was made by an indie developer, it looks terrible, it plays terrible and it is terribly presented with a story that becomes very boring after the first mission. The only positive things I can think of are the fact that there are Xenomorphs, the weapons are fully customizable and the pulse rifle does sound fucking awesome, as does the soundtrack which would work on almost any other game other than this. It just saddens and frustrates me that another game has ruined something that I onced loved.

#3 Star Trek

I'm not going to lie, I don't like Star Trek, but then neither does Namco apparently as they have produced a truly shocking video game. Now, video games that derive from films are usually always terrible due to the fact that the narrative and design has to be very linear, see above, but this is a whole lot worse than usual.

If you think Aliens: Colonial Marines had glitches then oh boy you haven't played this game, just a quick play-through will result in a high number of glitches, probably due to what is a terrible engine. The visuals aren't bad but the characters seem to have been modeled in 1998 and they seem to speak like puppets. The game just feels rushed, despite the fact that it has nothing to do with the coinciding film, which just makes the game a corporate box of shit.

#2 Beyond: Two Souls

Man I hate games like this. This game is effectively a film and therefore sacrifices any sort of gameplay for cinematics. You can really tell as the gameplay is taken a huge backseat to brilliant visuals and acting with a fantastic score and then just forgetting about good gameplay. The game doesn't really know what it is and that is my biggest problem with it.

I liked Heavy Rain a lot as it still had good gameplay coupled with the cinematic excellence and decisions that actually mattered, the interactivity was also good and at no point felt parrot like, but this game is just poorly constructed with no attempt at actual decent gameplay. The choices you make are so minor that they seemingly don't matter in the end scenario and that is what I hate about this game. If Quantic Dream keep making stuff like this, then at least draw some attention to the gameplay, after all it is a fucking game.

#1 Candy Crush Saga

I know I am cheating slightly as this was released in late 2012 but didn't reach peak popularity until 2013, so it's staying.

This, I'm not even going to call it a game, thing, is just everything I hate about video games and somehow, despite the fact it was seemingly made for morons, is the most popular game on Facebook. It just doesn't make sense, what is so fun about crushing candy in a not at all challenging way. I am a fan of the puzzle genre and cleverly constructed puzzle games such as Tetris can be great fun but this is so poorly constructed and fucking basic it makes me want to end my life. Has the human race really got to a stage where it now thinks crushing candies in a basic sequence with zero rewards is fun, if so then roll on the nuclear holocaust.

Every year there is this new fucking game that takes on this style, a limited life system, with micro-transactions plastered left, right and center. Unfortunately the fans of this game are too moronic to work out that this is a scam and so therefore pour hundreds of pounds into buying more lives. If you do play this game occasionally then I won't judge you, but if you decide to invite me every two fucking seconds on social networking sites then I certainly will. Every fucking day somebody different wants to me play Candy Crush and every day my friend list gets gradually shorter. Maybe I should be grateful for this game as every year these sorts of games are released it makes my job a hell of a lot easier to decide which is the worst game of the year. But fuck me.