As I'm sure many of you who read my blog know, I'm not the biggest fans of 'Maroon 5'. I get the sense that they've given up, and that ever since their debut album it's all been going downhill. That was summed up by 2014, which was another poor showing from the band; although their single 'Animals' was at least acceptable, if a little strange. The fact that this band have the ability to produce utter shit is what worries me so much about their latest single, 'Sugar', which I do hope is an effort to get them back on track to where they were about ten years ago. That was a time when they suddenly started to produce rubbish without any warning, and I just get the feeling that isn't going to change with this song.
The problems start when you find out that this song has SIX writers. Any chance that this was going to be a personal and meaningful song have just gone straight out the window, especially when the names of the writers include things such as 'Ammo' and 'Cirkut'. My skin crawls when I hear pseudonyms like that. What disgusting person decides that would be a good name when you could choose anything else? Even prolapse would be an improvement. It gets worse, their history has to be seen to be believed. 'Ammo', or ammunition to give him his full name, is a frequent producer of Ke$ha's music, which tells you all you need to know about him. And then there's 'Cirkut', who sounds like a character from 'Tekken'. He's an experienced producer that's most notable for being a contributor to Katy Perry's 'Prism' album, which is dreadful when you consider that's the pick of the bunch. Lead singer Adam Levine is only one of the writers, which is also bad, as that never turns out too well either. So what did they decide to do? Well they thought "fuck the song, we'll just make a music video".
Now I don't often comment on music videos in my reviews, and this one will still have no effect on the final score, but I thought I should mention it as 'Maroon 5' have really gone to town on this one. The idea is that the band gatecrash 'random' people's weddings with the hope of surprising them, which isn't a dick move at all. You get the feeling that the couple didn't invite them as they didn't want them there. If 'Maroon 5' showed up unannounced at my wedding I would punch them in the face and tell all of them to fuck off, especially if they decide this would be an appropriate time to sing a song about looking for love. The only song being sung at my wedding will be 'Nothing Else Matters', and that's final. I certainly don't want some pompous prick turning up with his pathetic band. The video is quite obviously staged, and the fact that people instantly recognise them is another talking point. But people are stupid enough to believe that it was genuine, and at least it isn't a ridiculous music video. A twatish one maybe, but I think we all know it's there to be a distraction.
After the video charade it becomes quite clear that the elaborate music video is there to hide the plain truth that this song is very dull. I can't actually remember the song doing anything. There's no pacing, and it just plods along in a disjointed fashion, feeling quite ordinary throughout the whole thing. I didn't expect anything revolutionary, but I was hoping to not listen to a song that feels about as genuine as a Chinese Rolex. The pop-rock core is tried to be rejuvenated by chucking in some funk and disco, but those are just three genres you should never try and combine, or you might end up sounding like a cheap Bruno Mars; the only difference being you're a cock who likes to gatecrash random weddings. Levine doesn't make this song, and the charisma that a front man should have is lost during the rambling and pointless verses that only showcase his annoyingly high pitch voice. That's apparently meant to feel nostalgic, although maybe that's the feeling you get learning about one of the various points in history where nothing happens; as tedious boredom is a similar experience to listening to this song.
I don't want to be entirely negative, since there are some redeemable qualities to the song. The most apparent of these would be the lyrics, which although generic, are actually not too bad. They don't do anything special, but they're far from a terrible mess, and the overall tone is that of a generic love song. The whole purpose is that 'sugar' is a metaphor for love, and although that isn't an original theme, it makes the track feel less vomit inducing than the majority of 'Maroon 5' songs. Apart from that it's pretty much standard lyrics you expect from a pop song, apart from a pointless 'shit' reference, that doesn't fit into the song and is completely unnecessary. It doesn't make the song sound any more hardcore, and if anything it makes the song less accessible to a young fan base. Maybe the five year old fan base wouldn't care if there were shitty lines like this one:
'Cause girl you're hotter than a southern California day
But I do care that you throw in shitty lines like that, and I also care about your bad grammar. You see the main, and anticlimactic, hook of the song is as follows:
Your sugar. Yes, please
Now for that to make sense the first sentence would have to end with a question mark, otherwise it should be 'You're sugar'. Even then it puzzles me why he has to answer the question if it doesn't exist. I have to say this is strange for a big song to not know how to use a question mark correctly, and is a little disappointing considering this was a big release. It doesn't say much for the rest of the song.
Overall this song is trying to be overly flashy. All these genres and a huge music video coming together to form what is essentially a generic and quite dull pop-rock track. The video might get them views on 'YouTube', but it doesn't escape the fact that this is a pointless song that feels artificial at every stage. I think music should be about the passion to create great art, and that doesn't mean pandering for views over the internet with a large scale video that ends up feeling like the actual song, totally worthless. It may be a step towards salvation for 'Maroon 5', but we've got a long way to go before the band hits their original form again.
Final Score: 4/10 **
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