#10 Steven Seagal
I just don't get the appeal. People bang on about how awesome the ponytail and his underwhelming action sequences are, but I just don't understand how people can enjoy these constant martial arts scenes that seem to be totally pointless. Seagal is like Bruce Lee, except just really boring in comparison. His black belt in Aikido isn't interesting to say the least as it doesn't actually appear to be realistic in any way. You get the sense that if Seagal ever stepped in a martial arts ring he would have his head kicked off by even the weakest of competitors. I never get the sense that these overproduced scenes would actually happen, and for an action film that's suicidal in concept. It's too much at once, and as a viewer I become alienated by this ineptitude to produce a well choreographed scene.
Seagal produces the occasional film that makes it big, but his back catalogue of crap is full of nonsensical bullshit with no obvious plot that relies on lazy action sequences to even feign an interest on the brain-dead viewer. The majority of his work is direct to DVD trash that even bargain bins try and avoid for the shame of supporting one of the shittest front men in cinema. Since his days of producing low budget crap, Seagal has moved into policing, and is a part time sheriff in his home county. He's also manufactured an energy drink and became friends with Vladimir Putin in his spare time, so he's obviously not a pushover in the political world. His personal life is actually quite commendable, unlike his piss poor film productions.
#9 Josh Peck
I very rarely include an actor on these lists that have only had the one chance to ruin a single film, but Josh Peck's role in the terrible 'Red Dawn' film was so god damn awful that I just had to give him a mention. 'Red Dawn' was never destined to be the greatest film of all time, but thanks to the acting skills of Peck, the film bombed; wilting around the out of place Peck in every scene he happened to pop into. His attempts to become a serious and gritty character were laughable at best, and he became the star of a kids TV show once again, in a way very much like his role in 'Drake and Josh' that shot the man to fame. I'm sure his roots mean something to desperate teenage girls who want to feel nostalgic, but for me it's like watching some idiot trying to overact every single serious scene with that childish character of his. Evidently the action malarkey didn't last long for Peck who now spends time making videos for 'Vine'. If he's not talented enough to make videos over seven seconds long, why the hell did anyone think he would be good in an action film? The guy makes no sense.
#8 Channing Tatum
Just because a person has a muscular physique does not mean they can instantly integrate into the complex world of action heroes. Case in point with Channing Tatum, who has shown over the previous years that he has no business being in the action genre as quite frankly he's a talentless mess. I didn't think that when I watched 'G.I. Joe' I would actually be looking at the action figure itself instead of a realistic interpretation, but that's the exact message I got when watching Tatum fumble around the screen like an imbecile. I don't know if Tatum ever reads the script, but if he did then he might have a better acting range than just staring blankly at things over and over again with no real purpose or charisma. The guy makes Sylvester Stallone look like a classically trained actor, or at least he does in the action genre. Tatum's still shit in other genres, with 'Magic Mike' coming to mind, but he's at his woeful worst when trying to become the chiseled star of tense and thrilling action sequences.
#7 Steve Austin
I'm a man that loved 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin as a wrestler, and so it pains me to say that he simply doesn't work as an actor in what should be his preferred genre. As a wrestler Austin broke new ground in the business with his badass gimmick, but when he moves out of the ring and onto the screen it doesn't work as expected. High adrenaline scenes that Austin should thrive in become actually quite ordinary as he lacks that natural charisma that made fellow wrestler Dwayne Johnson such a hit with the box office. Austin is just too generic, too predictable to ever work in epic films, and so once the plot gets past beating random people up then Austin's acting starts to really struggle.
It's actually quite entertaining watching Austin when the pace is turned down as he has no fucking clue what he's doing, and so you have no chance of ever forming an emotional attachment with him. It's amazing how much the guy contrasts his excellent wrestling performances with terrible acting, and even though he's beaten up legends like Sylvester Stallone, he still doesn't compare to his previous lifestyle. Unlike Dwayne Johnson you cannot imagine Austin anywhere else apart from a WWE ring, and so in films such as 'The Condemned' Austin becomes lost in the much more talented supporting cast when in reality it's his responsibility to lead the film. Even fucking Vinnie Jones managed to outperform Austin. That's Vinnie Jones, the footballer, who's not exactly in the running for winning Oscar's anytime soon.
#6 Brad Pitt
Now I don't actually mind Brad Pitt as a general actor, but in action films I've never found that he ever seems to compliment the film. He may be a pretentious star that fame has got the better of, but recent performances have proven that this man is capable of becoming a good actor when the time is right. That time is not during any of his action flicks, and so we get lackluster performance after lackluster performance in films that aren't too bad to start with, all set up for big stars to shine. You can bang on about how good looking he is and how much charisma he brings to the screen, but the fact is that legends such as Bruce Willis don't need charisma to win over audiences. Willis actually looks like a scrotum, but at least he knows how to blow things up in style, not becoming an egomaniacal tool in the process. I guess it's Brad Pitt's personal life that becomes the star of the show, which is a shame in a relationship where Angelina Jolie is the more talented thespian when it comes to action films.
#5 Nicholas Cage
To be fair to Nicholas Cage you can't just single him out as a terrible actor in action films as he's also a terrible actor in whatever role he plays. Believe it or not action films are actually one of his strengths, if that's the right word to use in that example. With Cage it's always predictable what role he'll be portraying, as he plays the same eccentric lunatic in every film he decides to appear in, and that doesn't exclude action films. I wouldn't say overacting was a necessary requirement of the genre, and to be honest I would rather not see some imbecile losing his mind in films that present very serious issues. Those serious issues cannot be transferred to the viewer if the main character doesn't even know who he's supposed to be playing.
I know it's cool to hate on Cage, but I really do genuinely hate the man despite how much of an easy target he is. Okay he is enthusiastic about all his roles, and you can't fault his energy, that unfortunately is used at all the wrong times. There's a fine line between exciting actors and shit actors, and Cage misses the exciting part by a long way. I don't want to watch someone who is essentially just a performer in an epic action film, but rather a well rounded actor who looks pretty damn fine beating people up. Thanks to these tendencies to appear in absolute shite, Cage has now become synonymous with many crappy action films, and although that isn't entirely his fault, a large part does come from his hideous acting style that would only please people who make memes on the internet.
#4 Mark Wahlberg
I don't know what you were expecting if you thought I wouldn't be mentioning this terrible actor. I just don't understand how you can think a dreadful rapper who used to hang around with the 'Funky Bunch' can become a good action star, and unsurprisingly poor performances were exactly what happened. It's not as if Wahlberg hasn't been in good films either, and he even performed quite well with titles such as 'The Departed', but that's going against the trend of Wahlberg's performances in the films that require a moderate amount of talent. Shit like 'Planet of the Apes' makes it apparent that Wahlberg has no business in large budget action movies, as in reality he's a poor actor that relies on other members of the cast and production crew to become successful. No tough upbringing can prepare you for action movie roles, and just because Wahlberg looks a bit hard doesn't mean he can become a convincing antihero. His performances are lifeless and empty, contradicting the character he often tries to play. He may be a nice guy in his old age, but that doesn't make him any good for action films.
#3 Jet Li
By the time Jet Li came to the attention of the public everyone had got a bit sick of the kung fu trend, and when I say everybody I mean I did. Li brings nothing new to kicking people in the face, and that translates itself to generic films with predictable and overproduced action sequences. I must have seen thousands of people being kicked in the face over the years, so I don't really care about Li when that's essentially his whole routine. What's more impressive than his acting is his martial arts expertise, which is capped off by five wushu championships in China, with the first being achieved at just the age of eleven. In China that makes you a national hero, and is still an incredible achievement elsewhere, that unfortunately for the viewer isn't relevant when it comes to acting. What is relevant is Li's dull persona that gives him the stage presence of some bacteria with a scrawny physique and laughable portrayals of dynamic protagonists. He just doesn't work in adrenaline fueled thrillers during a time when simply beating people up isn't acceptable anymore.
#2 Jay Leno
So it turns out that mediocre comedians and American chat show hosts don't make very good action heroes. I know, I'm just as shocked as you are. That little gap in Jay Leno's CV where he decided to try his hand at action roles is one that I'm sure Leno doesn't like to brag about. The above role is in the diabolical 'Collision Course', which is one of the most godawful pieces of cinema to ever shit itself out of the action genre. In short it's unwatchable, and that isn't helped by Leno's cringeworthy gimmick that makes your skin crawl at every possible opportunity. Thankfully Leno did leave the idea of appearing in action films shortly after, and it will hopefully stay that way for ever, as I have no interest in watching a sellout comedian trying to act for a paycheck. Leave your shitty comedy routines for television and away from films filled with death and violence. It's no surprise that Leno didn't make his name through films like these, although becoming famous for poor quality monologues isn't much more prestigious.
#1 John Cena
Unfortunately I have to include another wrestler on this list as it turns out most of them cannot transfer any sort of charisma onto the silver screen. If you thought Cena was a bad rapper in his spare time, and he is, then you obviously haven't seen the horror that are the films he appears in. Watching Cena is like looking at a G.I. Joe marionette desperately trying to show what human emotion is. Predictably that fails, and ends up failing so badly that I'm sure my fridge could portray a more realistic human being than John Cena could ever manage. Maybe all those steroids should be substituted for acting classes to at least look like you have a clue what's going on.
Admittedly the films Cena appears in are produced by the WWE, which means they're essentially commercial horseshit with lots of pumped up explosions and macho activities. All this action is an attempt to hide the fact that most wrestlers can't act, but Cena is so awful that this strategy fails entirely when deployed in his films. It's no wonder the guy can't get gigs outside WWE sponsored films when he has the presence and talent of some wet cardboard. I know he was never destined to become an Oscar winning actor, but that's no excuse to be completely monotone and dull at every available chance. Cena doesn't even have the audacity to make it entertaining like in Jean Claude Van Damme films of old. Van Damme was hilarious to watch as he punched people in the face a lot, but Cena is just bland, generic and average in every way. It makes no sense to ever watch anything with Cena involved, especially if you have to pay for it.
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