Buzzfeed Bonus: Buzzfeed Try British Snacks

Not that I'm out of article ideas or anything, but here's a little added bonus to showcase the very worst of Buzzfeed playing to stereotypes. Actually it's really not that bad unless you're a snobby Brit like me, but it is still lazy content, so I've decided it certainly requires an angry response. So then, let's begin by watching some Americans eating British chocolate bars.

If there's one thing that Europeans shit all over the Americans at it's making chocolate. Unfortunately that hasn't become apparent to these naive little bellends over in the colonies, who for some reason still prefer that chemically infused plasterboard that dares to be called 'chocolate' in The States. The problems start with Dairy Milk, which for the record is infinitely better than any American chocolate bar because it actually tastes pretty good. However it's not the taste that's the primary issue here. For some reason the idea of calling a chocolate bar 'Dairy Milk' is confusing to these adolescents. I can understand where they're coming from, as the words 'milk' and 'dairy' have absolutely nothing to do with the process of making chocolate. I can't blame them for not knowing that those so called 'pockets' do sometimes have filling, but in absolutely no conceivable way is Dairy Milk worse than  Hershey's. And remember my opinion is infinitely more valid than theirs.

Another infuriating reviews was of the Flake, as they didn't get the full experience of having to clear up endless melted chocolate crumbs after the bar inevitably explodes in your mouth. They could have even gone one step further and had theirs stolen by seagulls, leaving them with the melted remains of a tragic 99. Again, the presence of a new chocolate bar was still too confusing for some. Really if you're getting confused by trying new chocolate bars you should probably seek some help.

For some reason every foreigner loves a Toffee Crisp, which is weird as it's more of a cult classic over here, although for the record Toffee definitely isn't the crunchy bit. An argument in this review was that despite being made for the British market the packaging should be changed for the small quantity imported over to America. Yeah, that line of reasoning is definitely not helping the stereotype that all Americans are self centered. Still, nobody slagged off a Twirl or a Wispa, which is probably because these youths don't know they exist, so that's fine by me. However this wasn't enough for Buzzfeed who then felt the need to make a video insulting an absolutely sacred tradition. Of course I'm referring to the full English breakfast.

I can instantly tell this video is set in a traditional British pub as of course on the wall it has trivial tales of Henry I pushing people off of Rouen Castle, which as everyone knows is commonplace across the pond. What absolutely isn't commonplace is having a fizzy drink with a full English breakfast. It has to be breakfast tea, and maybe fruit juice at a push if you have no self respect. I would also like to add that this is absolutely not the staple for British people most mornings, unless you happen to be a lorry driver.

The actual review brought up very little points for debate, but there were a few, such as when some person who looked about 12 wanted just the sauce of the baked beans. That's called ketchup, which despite being noticeably worse than the vastly superior HP sauce, is still a potentially important component of the fry up. The blonde haired lady must be pissed out of her tiny mind as well. She criticised baked beans for not being a breakfast food, but then praised the American way because you can have whatever the hell you want for breakfast. Well then go eat a bag of dicks for breakfast you fucking bitch.

But the biggest insult is the lack of hash browns on that so called 'full English breakfast'. How as a British pub you could forget the most critical ingredient and yet still include optional extras like black pudding and fried mushrooms is beyond me. Disgusting behaviour. That pub owner should be taken to the tower. Speaking of this pub owner, let's see what she and other equally worthless Americans make of traditional British food.

Woah, what the fuck is that scotch egg? Why the fuck is there tomatoes and gravy with it? And again, why the fuck is a Cornish pasty being served with peas, potatoes, and gravy? I know the owner is from the West Midlands and loves a bit of gravy with everything, but don't ruin the iconic Cornish pasty, which the whole point of is that everything is contained in the pastry, so you don't need bits on the side. Fucking heathens. Also that steak and ale pie was made with mushrooms, which I suppose I will let slide, but that still doesn't excuse the fact there wasn't a drop of ale in it. It was a steak and stout pie. Guinness is not an ale.

I just love that this is supposed to be an accurate representation of British cuisine. Where's the drizzle soaked fish fingers? And more importantly where were the hash browns? The shit sampled in these videos was just poncy rubbish that pays into a generic stereotype. I'm sure Buzzfeed is loving that, and is claiming this all has artistic merit. Still, aside from the terrible restaurant these videos have only been mildly irritating. Actually that's a lie, they're an insult to a whole nation for some easy views. Fuck you Buzzfeed.