I'm sorry to inform you that Taylor Swift has decided to release a new album, and unfortunately not gone into dystopian literature like the title may suggest. You may be thinking that we already know what it's going to be like, and you may be right, but this is the biggest album of the year, and 2014's only realistic chance of producing a platinum selling album. It's named after the year Taylor was born, which must have taken a long time to come up with considering its deep symbolic meaning. That, or she was a huge music fan at the ripe old age of two months. She claims that her inspiration came from the Madonna hit 'Like A Prayer', which was released in the year she was born, and claims that it's "legitimately one of the greatest pop songs of all time", which I would have to agree with. I think the song is arguably the best pop song of all time, and so there is at least a small beacon of hope at the end of the dark tunnel that is Taylor's album history.
I'd also like to comment on the album cover, or lack of one. I know it doesn't contribute to the quality of the album, but in a full review of this piece I thought I should mention it. I get that it's supposed to have that 'down to earth' amateur feel about it, but I just think it looks shoddy, like they forgot about it and had to make something up in two seconds. I understand that not every album can be a lavish work of art, but a little effort would have been much appreciated. After all, it's going on my shelf, and so it needs to look good, and compared to the masterpiece that is 'Sgt. Pepper' it just looks pathetic.
Taylor doesn't have the musical capabilities to write songs herself, and so she's teamed up with Max Martin, who has a long history with Taylor, previously writing some of her biggest hits. He was also the producer behind 'So What', which has to be one of the worst songs of all time, and so the fact that he still has a career infuriates me, especially considering the other piles of shite he's coordinated in the past few years. He brings with him the entity known only as 'Shellback', who is actually a person. Although finding that out made me shudder every time I heard its name. She hasn't got a much better history, managing to allow 'Moves Like Jagger' to be released. So it's a big shame that a sniper wasn't present on the day of recording. According to Swift it's her "first documented pop album", so I don't know what 'Red' was two years ago, but apparently it wasn't pop. This album also deals with personal issues surrounding Swift's life. Oh no wait, that's all of her fucking albums, and I've still got to find a way to give a shit about her everyday first world problems. I've somehow got to feel sympathetic despite her pathetic attitude and the fact that the songs can't be personal as she only wrote one of the bloody things on the whole fucking album. And It doesn't matter who you get help from, I just don't care.
I will give it to Taylor though, this is certainly a pop album. There may have been that underlying presence of artificial bullshit in her previous albums, but with this new album it really becomes prevalent. All the songs are built up around their massive hooks that will excite her irritating fans, and they come at you in a massive barrage of hardcore beats. Fuck pacing, who needs it, you're still digesting the last song when you get walloped by the next catchy chorus. We might decide to screw around with genres as well, but who needs them? This album is just 50 minutes of solid pop. I also can't recognize any of this '80's effect' that Taylor was banging on about. I might of actually enjoyed it a bit more if it had that synthpop vibe, but it just sounds like all of her previous material to me. The critics may absolutely love it, but a good album has to surpass the average mark, and this just doesn't do it for me. I mean just listen to the song above; 'Blank Space' is just Taylor Swift 101.
It just lacks that big hit, there isn't any anthems in this solid block of pop. The closest you come to one is 'Shake It Off', which although it's nothing special, is annoyingly catchy. The lyrics also confuse me, they have absolutely nothing to do with playing down 'haters', and just sort of linger like a fart in a cold room. It also strikes me as being flawed. Surely if you're brushing off the haters then there is no need to make a song about it. Maybe they are getting to here if she has to desperately construct a cheap feeling song in retaliation. Maybe a better idea would be for Taylor to stop advertising her whole social life in every single album she makes, so people aren't forced to comment on every aspect of her everyday actions. Although she didn't even write the damn songs so how they can represent her personal feelings is another matter, but plastering them throughout her work isn't exactly going to help.
This self centered approach is where the album starts to fall apart, and I find myself wondering if I really do care about her social life in any way. There doesn't seem to be any sort of passion for music; advertising yourself throughout the whole thing just shows that this album doesn't show Taylor's love of music, just a love for herself. It might work in terms of profit, and it almost certainly will, but just doing enough to get by with yet another artificial and soulless album isn't going to rate highly with me. This can be summed up best with the opening song 'Welcome To New York', which would be a good chance to create a song with at least a significant meaning. Nope, it's about her recent move to New York; why would I care about that? At least with the majority of tracks there is some basic meaning, and you may be thinking that I wouldn't moan about the amount of personal songs if it were a man singing it, but that would of course be very ignorant of you. You just don't see male artists doing this on every single fucking album, and whilst this is more to do with Taylor than a gender specific thing, it still doesn't excuse the astronomical list of Taylor Swift songs that are about breaking up with other boys. I get it Taylor, you don't need to keep repeating yourself.
The final song on the album, and what should be the epic crescendo, is a simple little number called 'Clean'. It struck me as a strange song to end on as it just sort of plods along at a very lethargic pace. But at least it sounds a little bit different, still nothing to get excited about, but it sounds good, and that's the important thing. It is a bit empty, but I think Swift's voice complements the slow rhythm perfectly, and not sounding too processed over the light dulcet tones in the background. It may well be the closest thing we get to a powerful anthem, and at least the lyrics have some meaning, but still something feels dull and lacking any excitement. It might actually be a bit rubbish, but don't tell the critics that as they fucking loved it. Overrated would be a word I would use to describe the critics reaction, as they somehow managed to find the good points in lackluster songs like 'Bad Blood', or the down tempo 'Wildest Dreams', that just end up sounding bland in my opinion. To me it ends up feeling like a collection of normal songs, and although I can see its appeal, it still doesn't really do anything for me. I would certainly never want to own a copy.
Overall I find that this huge album doesn't add anything new to the table. Don't get me wrong, it's not bad, it satisfies the needs of the target market, but never stands out like a great album should. Maybe we should be giving the rookies a chance, there have been some great albums released this year by aspiring artists that are subsequently overlooked because of blockbuster mediocrity like this. It may well be better than her competitors, and although that isn't something particularly difficult, it does at least put this in pole position for the best modern pop album. Not that that excites me in any way. Will it last? probably not in a genre that has a very low lifespan. Does it take me back to 1989? No, not really, it just takes me back to Taylor's previous album, with this being just a little bit better.
Final Score: 6/10 ***
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