Top 10 Horror Movie Animals

Animals can be a huge part of horror films. When everything is done correctly they can become a thrill that extends far beyond that of human nature, and in extreme doses leads to paranoia. They have proven to be effective tools for thrill over the years, but here are my top ten favorite uses of animals in horror movie history:

#10 Anaconda - Anaconda (1997) (3/10)

A pretty pathetic effort at making a film about one of the world's largest snakes that somehow managed to be a box office success. This is probably due to the fact that the film starred Jennifer Lopez, and god awful rapper Ice Cube, who are part of a filming crew looking for giant snakes. If you need any conformation that they can't act you have it here; and they get a lot of screen time too show you their talentless roles. The actual Anaconda is a crime against science, and any sense of realism in the film is lost to the lack of research that went into creating their villain. The huge scale of the thing isn't what's most appalling about its design, no it's the fact that this thing is more agile out of water than most snakes about a tenth of its size. It's not even the right colour; I mean come on, just a little research wouldn't of hurt.

But if the pathetic attention to detail doesn't bother you then I guess you could start to enjoy the film. It's poor quality isn't really down to the snake, despite being completely absurd. I would even go as far to say that the 'Anaconda' is quite awesome, and it does have some screen presence, especially for a crime against nature. It doesn't actually enter the film until quite late on, which is a shame, as it's the sole source of action throughout the entire film, and to that extent it might even be the best part. So it can thank its horrendous cast for being so low on this list.

#9 Crocodile - Lake Placid (1999) (4/10)

A film that ended up being a disgusting mix of lame action sequences and forced fed comedy, but none of that is the fault of the thirty foot long crocodile that for some reason haunts a lake in northern USA. I just don't get why there should be any comedy in it. Why when you have a fucking awesome and terrifying crocodile do you focus on a more comedic film? It's not as if the comedy actually works, and that leaves the ignored action sequences to carry the film, which they simply can't do. That's nothing against the crocodile, that's everything a horror movie animal should be, and it instantly becomes the best part of the film by an absolute mile.

The director also didn't fall into the trap of making the animal completely unbelievable. It might be a crocodile that's 50% larger than anything on Earth, but it's still not the largest crocodile in existence, and that small attention to detail is what makes this film at least a little bearable. The film has gained a small cult status in recent years, which is fair enough, not many films have thirty foot crocodiles to carry them along. It may well be a poor horror film, but the crocodile acts as a very good villain, and with some better screenplay and a solid script this fearful monster could have created a sleeper hit of a film.

#8 Mosquitoes - Mosquito (1995) (2/10)

I'm not sure if this film is meant to be a parody of more traditional horror flicks or just plain bad, but the thought of giant mosquitoes just scares the hell out of me. It might just be a good thing that the film in question is so bad, a film centered around genetically modified mosquitoes that feed on humans that was actually realistic would probably ruin my life, and not leave a sour taste like these obviously staged and artificial creations are. The stupid nature of the film almost makes it comedic; that's almost, it's still a horrendous horror film to watch despite being laughably despicable in every single way. There are some standout scenes which is why it at least scores on my ranking system. Scenes such as the 'eye popping' sequence are my particular favorites, although that's not because they're good in any way.

Maybe I'm being too harsh, it was made on a very tight budget and so was also destined to be a poor film. But there are poor films out there that do at least have a good storyline, and at least one that makes sense. In this we just get the scarcely believable scenario that mosquitoes have been genetically modified by aliens when they accidentally crashed into Earth. I'm sorry, but what the hell is that? Did a person genuinely write that script; if so they should be ashamed of themselves. The cheap feel of the film doesn't help it in any way, and I just wish this had been done with a bit of care. If so then the results would be harrowing, and maybe one of the best horror films of all time.

#7 Lions - The Ghost & The Darkness (1996) (6/10)

We finally arrive at our first decent film, and one that is actually based on a true story, which makes it that much more terrifying. 'The Ghost' and 'The Darkness' are two Tsavo lions that killed over 100 people during the building of the railway from Uganda to Mombasa. It's not a film that's technically perfect, in fact it's very far from it, but the villains are the star performers despite seeing relatively little screen time. You end up ignoring the 'British Empire bullshit' backstory and just focusing on the lions who are portrayed as a legitimate threat throughout the whole film. Like any Hollywood film it forgets all about accuracy, and when you read the Wikipedia entry you discover how inaccurate the film actually is.

It doesn't really work as a horror film either, probably because it's not intended to be one, but also because there is more of a focus on the context than anything else. This I usually like, but building railways in Eastern Africa isn't exactly my idea of something interesting, and this isn't helped by the stellar cast performing well under par. There aren't many intense scenes, but the lion's reputation make sure that this film never loses its footing.

#6 Spiders - Arachnophobia (1990) (6/10)

This film might just be the worst thing of all time for people who hate spiders. Even I found myself squirming at some of the scenes, and I have nothing against spiders. The plot centers around a fictional Venezuelan spider who accidentally arrives in a generic town in the USA. It breeds with the local population, which is amazing considering it's a completely different species, and the ability to interbreed defines a species, but oh well. These spiderlings then consume the whole town in a way that I must admit is done very well, and the spiders come out of it looking like great villains. Despite the situation being completely impossible the director manages to make this film seem like an event that could genuinely happen.

That's not to say it's a great horror film; for starters it's full of every single horror movie cliche in the book, and I wouldn't say the script is particularly compelling. But if you can tolerate spiders then this is an enjoyable way to spend two hours of your life, even if it isn't the most consistent thing you will ever watch. As villains the spiders are numerous and terrifying. They have a lot more screen presence than anything should that is their size, and they even manage to defeat the dreaded bathtub of doom, so that makes them pretty hard.

#5 Birds - Birdemic: Shock & Terror (2008) (8/10)

The title sums the film up perfectly; 'shock and terror'. It's such a bad film that every time I watch it I cry a little inside; it's so comically bad that I ended up loving every single minute of it. It may not be a horror film, or any other type of film for that matter, and so it ends up on this list out of pity more than anything else. The animals in question are a variety of birds of prey, and these lumps of pixelated crap are vicious bastards that ruthlessly slit the throats of any terrible actors they can find, and in this film there are many terrible actors to kill. The reason for this, and this is scarcely believable, is apparently because of global warming. Yep, that has to be the dumbest and most flawed scientific plot since '2012', except that wasn't entertaining like this film is.

The feeling that goes through the audience when these winged monsters descend must be one of complete terror. Just look at their crappy 2D appearance, isn't that a chilling image? Well no not really, mainly because their horrendous animations are one of the many sources of comedy throughout the entire film, and end up looking like a dated 80's arcade machine that's gone wrong. These menacing beasts can even spit acid, slit people's throats, and make the noises of fighter planes as they attack. They really are something special, but not in a good way. They end up being logically and scientifically flawed, in a film that may just be the worst thing to ever happen to cinema. But you have to admit that when it all comes together the effect is just astonishing. How this film hasn't won an Oscar yet is just mindblowing, and that's all thanks to these very realistic villains.

#4 Piranhas - Piranha 3D (2010) (7/10)

A film that confuses my penis; one minute it's about pornography and the next it's a massacre in a swimming pool, which really isn't one of the things that gets me going. I expected it to be a bit like 'Jaws', but my god was I wrong. There are some of the most harrowing scenes I have ever experienced in a film lodged throughout this pretty gruesome flick. The 'blood bath' scene is one that instantly comes to mind, and it may just scar me for the rest of my life. Where comedy comes into this is ludicrous. Why when you have a film as disturbing as this would you want to put shallow gags that achieve nothing in it? Jigsaw never came up with any dick jokes in 'Saw', and so what comedic elements are doing in a full blooded horror is anybody's guess; It certainly doesn't add anything to it. Yes, the story may be an impossibility and against the theories of both geology and biology, but the prospect still scares the living hell out of me. It's thanks to these villains that I don't go swimming anymore, and I doubt that will change, especially not after the atrocities I just witnessed.

#3 Werewolves - Dog Soldiers (2002) (7/10)

'Dog Soldiers' is a little known British horror film that's never got the popularity or recognition that it really deserves. It's quite a good little film actually, and I would urge horror fans to give it a try as it has, like everything British, that sweet charm that comes with low budget movies produced by small UK based studios. I wasn't sure if werewolves were cheating, but they're on this list because they look pretty awesome, and end up an integral part of the plot. Unlike the crappy use of them in 'Harry Potter', but then I'm not going to go into how ridiculously overrated that mediocre franchise is. All I will say is that 'Dog Soldiers' is a neat little thriller thanks to its memorable villains. The werewolves compliment the intense style perfectly, and certainly contribute to a very well made film.

#2 Birds - The Birds (1963) (8/10)

Now we finally arrive at the legitimately good films, and this one is an absolute classic. Birds have always been something that's quite scary, especially when one accidentally flies into your house. Now take that single bird and multiply it by a thousand. Yep. Then they start attacking everyone, which is one harrowing prospect. The film is typical Hitchcock, managing to pull in suspense from seemingly nowhere, and presenting the birds as brilliant and menacing villains, yet still keeping that innocence for an eery atmosphere. This is quite simply the antithesis of 'Birdemic', as there is absolutely nothing funny about this film. It's sole purpose is to put the viewer in a position of genuine discomfort, and who better to do that than Alfred Hitchcock.

The film also differs from 'Birdemic' in the fact that it's both very intelligent and very realistic. The bird models are cleverly shot in 'yellow screen', which works really well, and at some points it really does feel like a documentary. It somehow managed to lose the 1963 Oscar to 'Cleopatra', which is amazing considering this film didn't feel like it went on for five million years. But you can't really blame the birds for that, they contribute to some truly memorable scenes. 

#1 Shark - Jaws (1975) (9/10)

I don't see how anyone couldn't put this at the top. Has any one film ever succeeded in creating such a fear out of a single animal than this blockbuster? This is one of the main reasons why people fear sharks, and how anyone can like them if they're accompanied by that iconic piece of music is a mystery. It's a film that's aimed to shock, and yet it's still rated a 'PG'. Considering some of the scenes I would have shat my pants if I was a kid in that theater, as everything is made to look very realistic. You can thank director Steven Spielberg for that as he decided that a mechanical model would look better than a CGI shark; and it does. The shark is about a million times more imposing than any others virtual competitors in film, and that only adds to the fear factor.

I must also credit the human characters in the film who ensure that the shark seems a threat that could affect anyone in their everyday lives. The sheer normality of the characters helps to heighten that primeval fear, and is one of the major reasons why this movie became the highest grossing film at the time of its release. Not only is it a significant step for the role of animals in Hollywood films, it's also a huge step for the film industry in general; this really was the original blockbuster. It still carries that reputation today, and no matter how many times you watch it the thrills are as intense as ever and it's still as good as it always was. I don't think the day will come when a film causes such a global panic about one animal than this does, and that's a testament to the legendary reputation that this film has gained.