Friday 29 April 2016

What's Wrong With Adultery?




No matter what your opinion on the subject is it's now widely accepted that cheating in relationships is a part of our society. A survey of 635,000 UK individuals found that 25.4% of men and 18.3% of women have cheated on their partners at least once. Over the pond in America a presidential candidate noted for having multiple wives is getting record approval rates, so to say that polygamy doesn't have a place in modern society would be ill informed. This isn't even a new revelation either, as it's accurate to state that adultery has been a part of society for millennia, with many cultures partaking in relationships outside of their marriage. The reasons behind these alarming statistics are subject to fierce debate, and although I could go on and on about philosophical bollocks that tiptoe around the edges of the issue, I will instead be using science and rational thought to carve up this debate instead of just writing down my personal feelings.

It's all very well jumping on the bandwagon and condemning cheaters in a society that demonises them, but to simply state that polygamy should be frowned upon because long lasting relationships lead to happiness is simply in denial of why lovers feel the need to cheat. The ethnographic atlas claims that out of 1,231 societies worldwide only 186 were truly monogamous. Even in Western countries that have a largely monogamous society are heavily influenced by a growing culture of those that have affairs, and the statistics surrounding the popularity of online dating sites is proof that there's a significant portion of people who would rather focus on short term flings. Whilst it's certainly true that marriage is generally thought to lead to happiness in individuals, it would simply be ignorant to dismiss the possibility of happiness in polygamous relationships. Sure, cheating may well be a social faux-pas in Western culture, but when you've had the notion that one person alone is going to make you happy for the rest of your life shoved down your throat continuously then you have to accept that out of the billions of people worldwide there's going to be mistakes, and there's going to be individuals that feel alienated by something that has never made them happy. Is it therefore wrong to start criticising these individuals based on a mistake that's led their unfaithfulness? Maybe, but it's certainly not the grounds to start demonising polygamous relationships.


Wow, if polygamy really does lead to unhappy relationships then there's a lot of unhappy couples in the world.

Another issue that's brought up by this argument is whether the value of marriage would be depleted. However my response to this point would be to simply state that the value of traditional marriages are already being depleted, which is a trend not shared with polygamous relationships. The number of marriages in the UK has almost halved since 1971, where as in America, a country famed for its stance on polygamy, the approval rating for polygamous marriages has risen to record highs. I'm sure you could try and counter this with some pseudo-scientific bollocks about the role of emotional investment in marriage, but the statistics don't lie, and actually there isn't any evidence to suggest that polygamous marriages are making people unhappy. Surely you could also say that if you continue to broaden the parameters surrounding marriage, subsequently decreasing its value, then homosexuals shouldn't be allowed to marry either.

Instead of relying on morals or philosophy to answer this question we should instead focus on the actual science behind cheating. Polygamy is a very common phenomenon in nature, and in fact there really isn't many species that humans can identify as truly monogamous. There's almost always cases of postcopulatory competition in nature, and even humans themselves didn't form monogamous relationships until around 18,000 years ago. Science can conclusively say that the more partners an individual has the more ability the organism has to pass on its genes, so it's of no surprise that in a world full of selection pressures that this method of sexual reproduction is common in nature. What cannot be explained however is why this happens, but there have been studies of many different species that try and provide an explanation. Bonobos are a species of great ape that happen to be one of humanities closest relatives and aside from that they're also known for their rather hands on approach to their sexual relations with each other, and so provide a good comparison between polygamous and monogamous relationships within nature. Recent evidence suggests that this behaviour is to ease social tension. Now obviously I'm not going to state that human and bonobo societies are the same, and in reality human relationships are by far the most complex in the animal kingdom, but what I am trying to prove is that polygamy does have a valuable role in natural relationships, explaining why this behaviour is still seen in humans, even if the cause isn't directly related to the relationships themselves.

Instead maybe we should be approaching this argument from a different perspective. Maybe we should be asking ourselves if human copulation is benefited by monogamous relationships in a way that bypasses the advantages found in nature. There's certainly a lot of evidence out there suggesting why it's favorable for humans to form solitary pairs, and although the details aren't conclusive there have been studies suggesting that monogamy leads to a shift in female preferences that favor sexual success within human males. Other studies have found that monogamous relationships lead to the greater care for offspring, which may go on to propose why monogamy is accepted in societies where parenthood is less dependent on the amount of resources, and actually derives from social reasons. This is a tenuous point to make, but when reviewing all the evidence on the whole it then becomes apparent there's certainly nothing wrong with polygamy from an evolutionary perspective, but monogamy does appear to be advantageous in human societies, benefiting societies that aren't seeking to minimise gestation periods.

Polygamy is such a common behaviour in nature, so saying it's not natural would be idiotic.

As a man I'm statistically more likely to believe that polygamous relationships are natural in human beings, and indeed I do. If like myself you do believe that every action a human makes is inherently selfish then it becomes instantly clear why adultery is commonplace in our society. The articles I've seen condemning polygamous relationships read out like a problem page in a women's magazine, speaking from personal and often bigoted perspectives that fail to see the general argument from a whole perspective. There's no doubt that polygamous relationships are part of nature, and that may suggest why they're still accepted in many cultures worldwide. It's also understandable why many cultures value monogamy, as there's certainly many proven advantages of monogamous relationships, but when looking at the evidence worldwide it becomes apparent that frowning on cheating is really a snobbish attitude from the Western World, looking down from their ivory towers at the uncivilised ways of people who they class as inferior. As a person I would never even consider cheating and have great respect for those that value monogamy, but in reality there is no evidence to suggest that polygamous relationships are inherently wrong, and should therefore be tolerated by our often ignorant society.


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