Top 10 Worst Songs of All Time

10 Worst Songs of All Time

I spend the majority of my time on the internet moaning about the current state of music, but I haven't yet presented my 10 least favorite songs of all time, until now. I have limited this list to one song per artist, as if not the majority of this list would be dominated by a selected few. I have also discounted any songs that weren't meant to be taken seriously, the songs on this list are legitimate songs that gained popularity with their stupid fanbases and somehow managed to chart well. Here are some awful songs that only just missed the cut:

Hole - Gold Dust Woman: I wish Courtney Love would learn to shut her massive mouth, all that ever comes out of it is crap, like this terrible cover of a Fleetwood Mac classic.
U2 - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band: Another person I wish would shut up is Bono, pretentious would be an understatement, he's just insufferable, like this version of how to ruin a timeless classic by The Beatles.
Celine Dion - The Power of Love: If anything was needed to sum up why Celine Dion is so bad then this song does it perfectly, once of course she stole it from someone else.
Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You: Oh look at my voice, look at my voice. A shitty song from a shitty film, no matter how hard you wail you can't save it.
Queen - We Will Rock You: I never thought I would see the day when a so called rock anthem needs audience participation in order to carry it, and you can even do this in a west end musical, who says rock and roll isn't dead.
Rizzle Kicks - Mama Do The Hump: No just fuck off. Intolerable, apparently this was humorous, let's
see how humorous it is when I carve out their skulls with a toothpick.

Willow Smith - Whip My Hair Back & Forth: Really, really annoying. Repeating the same pointless line countless times doesn't make a song, but I'll almost let her off for still being young and stupid.

#10 Madonna - American Pie (2000)

It's amazing to think that this is only number 10, as this is a fucking joke. The original song is one of my favorites of all time, 8 minutes of brilliant songwriting and brilliantly paced storytelling told from the heart of a brilliant performer that captures the feelings of a Don Mclean to a fantastic rock soundtrack and an expertly paced song, it is an all time classic. So if you're Madonna, a lucky karaoke singer with more money than sense, and choose to cover it, why would completely change it?

The effects are unbelievable, she cuts the song in half and puts a crappy, unnecessary dance track in the background that sounds absolutely ridiculous. I also have a problem with the fact that she cut the song, she certainly made sure there was still the good pacing, but she decides to cut out the section of the song which introduces the theme that the whole song branches off from, that is the day the music died, no sense of irony there, and she completely misses it out. This makes the song completely pointless as she's effectively singing about nothing. It's not as if her singing is any good, she absolutely tortures the vocals, and what was once a heartfelt ballad has now been reduced to a dull, autotuned mess, thank god it's only 4 minutes and not the original 8. Buddy Holly must be turning in his grave.

#9 Pink - So What (2008)

For some reason Pink believes she is some sort of rock star. I don't think so, especially when the next minute you want me to relate to your touching an inspirational lyrics, some fucking rock star that is. First we get this bullshit so called rock song that sounds so artificial and simple that it barely passes for a pop song, and then we get some so called inspirational and empowering lyrics. Here are some lines from the chorus:

So, so what
I'm still a rock star,
I got my rock moves,

No, you're not a rock star, and you never have been, you have zero rock moves and you trying to convince yourself you are is like a child trying to convince himself he isn't scared of the dark by repeatedly saying it over and over again. I mean let's have a look at what rock and roll things she does in the music video. She is shown streaking on a red carpet and cutting down a tree, wow someone contain her, we've got a fucking rebel on our hands here, at one point she even rides a lawnmower whilst drinking, oh that will tell Thatcher. Oh you could severely damage the blades of the lawnmower with that reckless activity, lock her up. In short I'm just pissed off with this tirade Pink has been shoving down my throat, and the sooner she cans the act the better, it still won't avenge this pile of crap though.

#8 Beyonce - Run The World (2011)

Now let me educate Beyonce, as obviously nobody else has. This song should be called 'Girls Run A Small Minority of The World'. This is because only 17 countries are run by women, and only 3 of these can be considered influential, and only one is a member of the G8. There are 193 members of the UN which means that women run 11% of the world, that's if all countries had the same power. This is nowhere near Beyonce's claim, that makes this song pretty pointless. I'm also pretty sick of this empowering women bollocks that for some reason Beyonce feels she needs to do, which I wish she wouldn't as when she does she just preaches bollocks. Call me a misogynist but sometimes the truth hurts, the day humanity comes to realise they're nothing special is the day we can get rid of this crap.

Like Single Ladies, which could of also appeared on this list, this song suffers from the same cardinal sins. It has a horrible beat that was apparently recycled from another crappy rap track with the occasional annoying grunt from Beyonce. The lyrics are also dreadful, misleading and repetitive, it seems scarcely believable that it took 6 writers to come up with the endless repeats of the same fucking message. This doesn't really say much for women when you can't even come up with repeating the same sentence over and over again on your own. At the end of the day I don't care if Beyonce has these feelings, but I do not appreciate it being shoved down my throat, even Pink didn't stoop to that low, and for that this song pisses me right off, at least misogyny produces good songs, unlike this pile of shit.

#7 Nickelback - Rockstar (2006)

Just for the record I didn't pick this song because everybody loves to hate on Nickelback, including myself, but I chose this because it's a fucking terrible song. The first thing I don't get is the premise, Nickelback say they want to be rockstars, which they already are, they say they want all these things when in reality they could just go out and buy them. I don't know if this was meant to be some sort of joke, and if it was then nobody gets it, but this attempt at irony is pathetic and makes me angry before the song even starts.

The second deadly sin comes from the diabolical lyrics, they sound like a spoiled child. I want this impractical thing followed by this, and this. Some of the items he asks for aren't even rock and roll, hanging out in cool bars and meeting VIP stars isn't particularly rock and roll, but then why would Nickelback understand that. The third sin comes from the music video. Now I don't mind if you want to ruin rock and roll by yourselves, but don't drag other people into it. The list of people included in this song, who are childhood legends in my eyes, is catastrophic. Gene Simmons, Wayne Gretzky, ZZ Top. Not sure why Wayne Gretzky is in it, he knows about putting pucks in the back of the net, but he has limited experience of being a rock star, although he was a bit of a playboy, more than Nickelback ever will be anyway.

There are many other sins that plague this song, such as the half assed soundtrack and themes that to me seem like a blatant rip off of Money For Nothing, and let's face it that has a killer riff, this doesn't. This is just terrible and seems to become everything it wants to mock in the first place.

#6 Aerosmith - Dude Looks Like A Lady (1987)

I hate Aerosmith, no I really do they're just awful, as a fan of classic rock I just find their contributions dreadful, and this is their magnum opus of crap. The song apparently came from their encounter with the Motley Crue, who let's face it can at least insult people, and produce a decent song. This is such a pathetic excuse for a song, I thought this sort of crap only happened in rap or pop culture, it's fucking ridiculous, It's not even a good insult, I stopped hearing this insult when I was about five because people fucking grew up, it seems Aerosmith are still five, which shows as they had to be carried through a rock song by a rap group and have a total number of good songs at zero. This song is just a case of children throwing their toys out of their pram.

The song is absolutely woeful and contains one of the most annoying choruses in history, everything else is just the usual Aerosmith crap, but they really went to town on that hook. The lyrics are also terrible, and borderline offensive as well. But what really hurts about this pathetic wining, it actually got recognition. This pile of shit got an MTV Music Award for what was in my opinion an offensive video, pretty much mocking transvestites. Not that MTV awards mean anything, they gave their award to Guns 'n' Twats for a bog standard black and white concert video featuring a massive twat doing his 'oh look at me, I'm a massive bellend' dance moves, for the barely passable Sweet Child Of Mine, when Metallica produced in my opinion the greatest music video of all time for One, because for once a music video exists that actually carried a brilliant story that connected with the song. Anyway, besides that this song is an insult to hard rock.

#5 Guns 'n' Roses - Sympathy For The Devil (1994)

As you've probably worked out by now I really don't like cover songs, they lack creativity and there is a fine line between using a song as a base to work on and just stealing it, this is the later. To be honest this isn't the worst cover in the world, there are much worse to come, but this song fails mainly for two reasons. The first is how bad it is compared to the original, The Rolling Stones original version had excellent pacing and Mick Jagger's vocals provided an excellent instrument for the lyrics. Guns 'n' Twats didn't quite understand this and so basically just made a stereotypical dull heavy metal take on it that first of all ruins any sense of genre and also makes everything else seem out of place. However the second, and much bigger reason, is how much of a monumental twat Axl Rose is, his wining voice absolutely murders this, it is quite scary when you compare his vocals to Mick Jagger. But then what would you expect from the most overrated band in history. To quote Frankie Boyle "Guns 'n' Roses fans, people I would happily leave in a burning building to save a pig". Speaking of bad covers:

#4 One Direction - One Way Or Another (Teenage Kicks) (2013)

Oh but this isn't just one cover, oh no it's two songs crammed into one, yes that's two not even similar songs, and songs that are about as anti boy band as you can get, they may as well have covered Cattle Decapitation. I should also mention that this song was released for charity, so no artificial and sympathetic praise are going to arise from this, it's just a pathetic attempt to get people to like them and is on the same level as blackmail. Oh look we're playing with underprivileged kids, just fuck off and give them the money.

Now the first song they steal is One Way or Another, a Blondie classic. Why they chose this is unbelievable as the song is certainly about stalking, no two ways about it, why you would release that as a charity single is beyond me. However what is even more unbelievable is that you steal 2 for the price of 1, but steal something completely different. Teenage Kicks is one of my favorite songs of all time, just the simple nature of it makes it such a great song, it is however undeniably a punk song, the antithesis of One Direction who are annoying, immature and irritating little twats who think stealing people's work and getting paid for it is a good and creative thing to do. These two songs should never be put together, and the results show why, a terrible bridge tries to separate them but it just doesn't work on any level, because One Direction are a crappy boy band, that have absolutely no chance of ever pulling this off in a million years. But how do they get rewarded, oh yes, a BRIT nomination. I just give up, no wonder our society is screwed, we're encouraging people to steal.

#3 Bloc Party - Ratchet (2013)

I just want you to bear in mind that Bloc Party are a rock band, what a fucking joke, it's like pouring shit in your ears. First of all it doesn't make any sense. A ratchet is a mechanical device that allows continuous movement in a linear direction, that has nothing to do with anything in this song making it already completely pointless, you can't just make up words and put them into a songs that are supposed to have a meaning, what the hell does 'get ratchet' even mean. The one thing I will give this song is that it is completely different to any other rock song I've heard before, not that that's good, it sounds like utter shit with a horrible and generic 'wub wub' sound in the background and the lack of anything that makes a rock song, if I had to categorise it I would have to create a new genre, something along the lines of 'fake rock shit'.

But the worst problem by far is the insufferable vocals, they are just intolerable. They are so bad that I quickly forget about the terrible beat and terrible lyrics because I can't hear them when my hands are over my ears. How this group are considered a band is beyond me, zero chemistry and the songwriting ability of a ladder. If this is the future of rock music then I can't wait for the apocalypse.


#2 Will.I.Am - Scream And Shout (2012)

Hooray it's my favorite artist of all time, William, who can't even spell his own name yet alone write a pop song, and my god when he does we end up with this crap. This song is just really fucking annoying, it seems to be a combination of generic dance beat and every insufferable and autotuned noise William could think of. It's not as if Britney Spears gives us any solace either, she just looks like she's there for her paycheck and adds absolutely nothing to the song apart from autotuned garbage and washed up celebrity eye candy.

The lyrics are the usual cocktail of crap we get from William, and it's really fucking repetitive. I would also like to remind William, and every other autotuned bullshit artist, that they don't 'rock' in any way. Getting other people to write your songs and then horrendously auto-tuning it to the point where you sound like a robot having an orgasm isn't rock and roll, and you never will be. Basically this song is just really annoying and really artificial. A bit like Amanda Holden.

#1 Nicki Minaj - Stupid Hoe (2012)

So this is it, the worst song of all time. Once you've given it a listen you can understand why, annoying would be an understatement. I believe it was the you-tuber who commented "kill it before it lays eggs" that summed it up best, this song is just insufferable. Nicki Minaj, who makes me feel the need to wear a hazmat suite every time I look at her so I don't catch slut, thinks that she has the right to take the piss out of Lil Kim in some pathetic rivalry over who is the biggest whore. To be honest I don't care what it's about when the song is as painful to listen to as this, it must be the only song i get violent over when i hear it. Nicki's voice is intolerable and she just keeps on finding new ways to make the song even worse.

It's not even a good hate song. Like in the case of Aerosmith the insults are pathetic and the lyrics are just horrendous, let's have a look at this wordsmith in action:

Cause I pull up and I'm stuntin' but I ain't a stuntman
Yes I'm rockin' Jordans but I ain't a jumpman
Bitches play the back cause they know I'm the front man

Yes that's right, she rhymes the word man with itself 3 times in a row, fucking excellent, even William isn't that brain dead, and then it gets better, look what she rhymes man with:

Put me on the dollar cause I'm who they trust in

In. Nice try but not even close, genuinely unbelievable how someone can be this stupid. The rest of the lyrics are just stupid bigotry that is mostly bullshit or confusing bollocks that has no meaning at all. Then there's the hook, oh god no, I just can't take it anymore. You can see my reaction video to this song below, if your face doesn't do the same during the chorus then you're twice the man that I am, nobody can sit through that song without committing suicide. It is undoubtedly the worst song of all time by an absolute mile.

 

Music Review: West Coast

Lana Del Rey - West Coast

Ah Lana Del Rey, I really don't get the hype over her, liking her is like preferring Spam from real meat, it's not terrible but it's so obviously processed that you can't help but liking something with a lot more flavor. I mean look at that cover, it just looks like an ironing board with a face drawn on it. This song is the lead single for her new album, Ultraviolence, which is an interesting name, probably because Lana Del Rey and violence are almost synonymous, apart from in every single way. The single was first heard at the Coachella Valley Music Festival, which is famous for booking bands that are of no interest to me at all, she then first played the single on Radio 1, and in the immortal words of Simon Amstell, "Fearne Cotton was there, like she always fucking is". 

The song takes the form of a ballad and was described by Lana herself as "A little more stripped down but still cinematic and dark" which sounds like just the sort of song for me, usually when I hear the words stripped down to describe music it usually just means it's been badly produced and rushed. The producer himself is Dan Auerbach, most famously of The Black Keys, and while he's a talented musician his talent has never really run into his career as a producer, the songs he's produced are hardly fantastic. The lyrics are written by somebody else, which is just uncreative and lazy, that person is the very experienced Rick Nowels, who has written a catalogue of crap in his extensive career, there is the odd good song but that's overshadowed by some absolutely terrible hits. What I'm trying to say is that it really doesn't look very promising.

I have to be honest and say that I don't like it very much, to me it just sounds like a half assed psychedelic infused ballad with Lana Del Ray sounding out of breath and quite frankly very annoying. I thought the West Coast was meant to be bright and vibrant but this song just mopes along at 2 mph and displays no character at all. One thing I will give it credit for is that it's definitely unique, not that that is a good thing, it never wants to stick to one genre and the tone keeps changing with every verse. It almost seems that the song tries too much too quickly, but in the end we get a song that really is very dull. The problem may come from this 'stripped down' approach that means we get this one solitary guitar trying to carry the whole song, accompanied by only a few annoying noises, this just doesn't work and we end up with a poorly paced and executed song. Let's hope the lyrics actually mean something:

Down on the West Coast, they got a saying
If you're not drinking, then you're not playing
But you've got the music, you've got the music in you, don't you?

Hmm, I'm not sure the West Coast does have that saying, I'm pretty sure you just made that up, there certainly isn't any reference to it anywhere on the internet, it probably means the whole premise behind the song is completely pointless. There's also a large Middle Eastern community on the West Coast and so I personally think that not drinking saying is flawed, and possibly slightly racist, as Muslims can't drink alcohol, so it's highly unlikely that that is a local saying. If Lana can't even make up her own sayings then that really does worry me. It's also not a very good message to carry in a song, neither is a rhetorical question, I will never understand their place in a song.

Down on the West Coast, I get this feeling like it all could happen
That's why I'm leaving you for the moment, you for the moment

Oh, okay, seems a shallow and stupid reason to leave somebody, but it's your relationship not mine. 

It's getting harder to show it
I'm feeling hot to the touch
You say you miss me
And I always say I miss you so much
But something keeps me really quiet
I’m alive, I’m a lush
Your love, your love, your love

I get that it's nice weather on the West Coast but you're not feeling it, if that's really why this song is called West Coast then I give up, terrible metaphor.

I can see my baby swinging
His parliament is on fire when his hands are up
On the balcony and I'm singing
Ooh baby, ooh baby, I'm in love
I can see my sweet boy swinging
He's crazy and Cubano call my only love
On the balcony and I'm singing
Move baby, move baby, I’m in love
I’m in love

Wow, this man is so crazy that he's lit up a cigarette, at least I think that's what she means by a Parliament, and waving his hands around in excitement, not sure why you need to be on the West Coast for this, I believe this is a common activity in rain trodden South London. Wait, what, you say you're in love, but back in the first verse you weren't, that doesn't make any sense.

  
Down on the west coast, they got their icons
Their silver startlets, their Queens of Saigon
And you got the music, you got the music in you, don't you?

Yes I get it, the West Coast is nice, now sing about something else. I also wouldn't like to tell her that Saigon was in Vietnam but isn't there anymore, maybe she's saying that the women of the West Coast are queens that rule over nothing, that there is the American Dream for you in a nutshell.

Down on the west coast, they love their movies
Their golden cars and rock-n-roll groupies
And you got the music, you got the music in you, don't you?

I've stopped caring about the fucking West Coast now, it's just annoying me. I don't care if they like movies, I really don't, this song is just a fucking holiday advertisement.

You push it hard I pull away
I’m feeling hotter than fire
I guess I know and how to be and make it feel I’m a child
Didn’t say you gotta know, boy it's you I desire
Your love, your love, your love

No innuendo there at all, and we finally find out she does love him and it's only taken us a few pointless minutes. This song has come a fucking long way for us to finally realise something she stated about five lines in, as you can see it hasn't gone anywhere. So unfortunately the meaningless and bland lyrics are also terrible, oh dear.

Overall this song just seems like a really badly made holiday advert, she makes up the majority of the lyrics and the rest of the song is just pointless drivel that adds absolutely nothing. No matter how hard she tries, this 'stripped out' technique just doesn't work and in the end it just makes a really emotionless and dull song, thumbs down from me.

Final Score: 2/10    *

Top 10 Most Anticipated Games of 2014

Most Anticipating Games of 2014

2014 looks a very promising year for games. The switch to a new generation of consoles means there are plenty of new and hopefully great games on their way. To celebrate this is a list for the games that to me look the most promising and exciting in the coming year. Here are some honorable mentions:

Total War: Arena: The idea of a free to play Total War game certainly intrigues me, but I'm not convinced it can be pulled off after some recent lackluster games from the once brilliant series.
Driveclub: A promising looking racer that seems to have been forgotten behind other future racers, still not sure about the social aspects though.
The Order: 1886: The premise behind the game looks interesting but the hype generated has been poor with virtually no content to show.
Mario Kart 8: It's another Mario Kart, we already know it will be great.

#10 Super Smash Bros. (Q3 2014) (3DS, Wii U)

A series that keeps going from strength to strength and the latest entry looks just as good as the brilliant Brawl. All this entry is trying to do is expand on an already excellent franchise and it probably will do just that. My only real concern is the lack of characters, a feature that has always attracted me to previous games. I think the current confirmed roster is too small, there are some welcome additions but the number of notable absentees is too great in my opinion. However, the actual game itself looks predictably hectic and awesome.

#9 The Crew (Q3 2014) (PC, PS4, One)

A debut game from Ubisoft's new studio, Ivory Tower, who are French, although they have previously worked on titles in the Need For Speed and Test Drive franchise, which were subsequently ruined by them. This is probably a very risky entrant, the promos look brilliant but I can't help feeling the developer and publisher are too inexperienced at making great games in the genre for this game to play very well, I mean Ubisoft aren't renowned in the racing genre.

However, on paper this game looks amazing, the statistic are absolutely mind-blowing. The game is open world and set in America, yes that's the whole United States, and crossing the map will take 90 minutes to cross with zero in game loading screens, that figure absolutely shocks me, it almost seems too good to be true, and to be honest it probably is. But at the moment this game looks like a game that I can't wait to get my hands on in 2014.


#8 Alien: Isolation (Oct 2014) (PC, PS3, PS4, 360, One)

Oh we've been down this road before, and this is a chance for Sega to prove me wrong. Who can forget the last Alien game, absolutely dreadful, and it looked so promising. However this time Sega are back for more, and this time they've bought with them The Creative Assembly, which is exciting, although The Creative Assembly haven't really made a truly great game for a number of years now, I think the last was Medieval II Total War from back in 2006. Since then the developer have just settled for making good games and so I'm hoping this is a breath of fresh air for them that will reignite the spark that made them great, how they will deal with a horror game is another matter but I'm willing to give them a chance.

Relatively little has been shown of the actual gameplay footage, all we've had is a little trailer, but a very good trailer that definitely has me hyped. The game apparently revolves around a horror set up with the player being unable to kill Xenomorphs, which I have to admit I rather like, it sticks to the original plot of the Alien franchise, something I've been wanting from an Alien game for quite some time now. I know I have said this all before, but this time I genuinely think we have a worthy Alien game in the works.

#7 Halo 5 (Q4 2014) (One)

This technically hasn't got a release date and relatively little is known about it, but I still can't help but feel excited for the next title in a fantastic series. This really could be Microsoft's trump card when it comes to the war over consoles.

#6 The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (Q4 2014) (PC, PS4, One)

You know a fantasy RPG looks amazing when even I get excited about it. I have never really been a fan of the fantasy RPG genre but even I will admit that this open world next gen title looks even better than Skyrim. That last statement may sound like blasphemy for fans of the genre, but does Skyrim have a dynamic open world which is affected by the players actions, does it have a visually stunning and fluid engine, and does Skyrim have no loading screens. The answer to those questions should be no.

This game seems to be on a scale that outmatches every other, the open world is claimed to be the largest in gaming history, apparently 30 times bigger than its predecessor, and 20% larger than Skyrim. Whether this will be a good map is another question, I really do hope it isn't dull and boring with locations scarce and limited, but I really don't think so with an estimated completion time of 100 hours and awesome looking trailers highlighting the scale of what could be a great game.

#5 The Elder Scrolls Online (June 2014) (PC, PS4, One)

While this game has already been released on the PC it is the console version I'm most looking forward to, never has an MMO of this scale been attempted on consoles and I'm interested to see how the features from the PC will be imported into the different versions. Now MMOs are almost certainly the future of gaming, you will see a few more featured in my list, and so what excites me most about this game is not just that it's another entry in the brilliant Elder Scrolls franchise but that it has gone for a unique route into the world of online gaming. In fact this game actually plays like a traditional Elder Scrolls game, just with other fellow gamers. The emphasis is on exploring the vast world through random quests and set storylines rather than just being a boring, money grabbing MMO.

The setting will be 1000 years before Skyrim and the storyline will be based around the battle for the crown of Tamriel. Yes that's the whole of Tamriel, not just one province, I mean Skyrim was huge and that's just one province. Having said this apparently some areas will be DLC and addons, which does give me the feeling that this game has a very high chance of being ruined by microtransactions which would be a great shame, especially with a series as good as The Elder Scrolls. 

#4 Titanfall (March 2014) (PC, 360, One)

Ok, so this one has already been released as well, but I haven't got my hands on it yet. I won't say much for now as a review will be coming shortly, but I think this game is the breath of fresh air that the FPS genre desperately needs and it looks a very enjoyable and fast paced game.

#3 Destiny (September 2014) (PS3, PS4, 360, One)

This game has certainly got a lot of hype, which is expected with every Bungie game, especially after their stellar run with the Halo series, although Halo wasn't quite on the epic scale of this game. I think most of the excitement that has been generated from this game has come from Bungie keeping their cards close to their chest. We understand it will be an MMO, although not really, as it involves on the fly matchmaking instead of one shared server. My brain cannot comprehend the power of the server needed for this, millions of random games will be made every minute, and Bungie say that many random events will occur that weren't planned by the developer, if this works then the game will be mind-blowing. My only real concern is that in 10 years will there be enough players for this random matchmaking, will the game deteriorate with time?  

#2 Watch Dogs (May 2014) (PC, PS3, PS4, Wii U, 360, One)

Although I am getting slightly frustrated with the development mishaps I still haven't forgot the first time I saw the trailer 2 years ago at E3, I mean it came out of absolutely nowhere and I still think it's an incredible idea to this very day. Unfortunately because Ubisoft are French they can't keep a secret and so we pretty much know everything about what will be in the game, it still hasn't stopped me from being very excited, I do think if it lives up to its potential it will be one of the games of the year.

I think what attracted to me this game in the first place was the brilliant premise, controlling the electronics of a city is such a brilliant idea and so many great features can then be crafted from it. Some of these features include being able to join other people's games without them knowing and hack their data. This game could be excellent, and I really hope it is, it's certainly a good idea. My only worry is that Ubisoft will ruin the story like they have with their other good ideas in recent history, just don't make the protagonist an insufferable dick, please.

#1 Tom Clancy's The Division (2014) (PC, PS4, One)

Tom Clancy never really has had a game that deserves to be under his name, his books really are quite brilliant yet his games are always hit and miss, and now that he's no longer with us it would seem a fitting tribute to release a brilliant game, and I think we have one here. Stunning is the word I would use to describe this, the screenshots that have been released look like photographs and the visuals look unbelievably good. While I'm still unsure on the post apocalyptic setting and the MMO gameplay this game still looks absolutely amazing. Everything from the combat to the visuals look absolutely stunning, I cannot wait.

Top 10 Worst Films of 2013

Worst Films of 2013

Well I guess it's better late than never, and since I haven't really had any spare time recently I struggle to keep up to date with the latest releases in films, but despite this I believe I have come up with a list of 10 terrible films from the previous year, in what to be honest was a pretty boring year for the big screen. Here are some dishonorable mentions:

Sharknado: I couldn't put this on my list. Don't get me wrong it's terrible, but that's what makes it brilliant, watch this if you want a good laugh.
Man of Steel: I don't like Superman and this movie is just the same generic superhero bollocks recycled for your entertainment, or cash probably.
The Internship: More a 2 hour commercial for Google but there are a few genuine laughs in there, so it avoids my list.
Iron Man XXX: Can't say I didn't enjoy it, although to be honest it made me laugh more with its terrible plot and rubbish excuse for a film.

#10 A Good Day to Die Hard

Oh good it's everything I hate in action films, things blowing up for no reason and a terrible story, it even has the cheek to try and take itself seriously. Nobody ever learns that it isn't a good idea to demote the main character to assistant, especially when it's his son that's taking over the main role, isn't that right Indiana Jones. This is evident throughout the whole film as Bruce Willis is demoted to annoying retro one liner guy that seems to be there for the novelty and nothing else.

To be honest I've never been a fan of Die Hard, but even I was disappointed by this, I would at like a little back story in this film, but I'm just expected to care about an undeveloped character and a premise that hasn't been explained to me in any way, it's just let's go to Russia and blow some shit up. It looks like it has Michael Bay written all over it, CGI and slow mo everywhere and completely forgettable villains that seem to care as much as me about the film. Overall this film is just really boring, everything blowing up every two seconds just gets so monotonous and tedious very quickly.

#9 Spring Breakers

I will give Spring Breakers one thing, it looks fantastic, but that's sort of it. This film can really be summed up in three words, guns, dubstep and tits, which in this case proves a bad combination. The premise behind the film is incredibly boring and tedious, and to be honest I just couldn't care, why would I want to pay money to watch other people clubbing, it makes no sense. But it's not just clubbing, we have gangsters as well, although terribly portrayed gangsters who never seem genuine and don't exactly improve on a very mundane storyline. The pacing is also poor, the majority of the film is just some girls lounging around and not doing anything remotely interesting, which is a stark contrast to the terrible action sequences near the end that feel very anticlimactic, especially when considering the lengthy buildup.

The thing I really don't understand about what is essentially a gangster film is the fact that it contains very little action and seems to treat serious issues as a joke. This is probably the thing I hate about this film the most, it really can't decide what it is and the concept of genre seems to have been completely thrown out the window. I don't know if there was a serious message carried in this film, but if there was it was very badly done.

#8 The Lone Ranger

This one suffers the same faults as number ten. It has a terrible script with painfully bad one liners, a dependance on flashy effects that are just there to look nice and aid the plot in absolutely no way, and a terrible plot that has absolutely nothing to do with the actual Lone Ranger. In all honesty if you had told me this was the new Pirates of The Caribbean then I would believe you, but people just don't care as long as Johnny Depp is in it. The film also pays little attention to accuracy, probably because the majority of its fanbase don't care and also because this is a pathetic attempt to create a load of cash, which it didn't thanks to ridiculous costs and a hefty run time that is primarily caused by endless faffing around.

Again this is another example of a film not sticking to its genre, one minute it tries to be serious, the next it tries to add in a little joke and in the end all I get from the film is a scrambled message which has nothing to do with the actual plot and a boring storyline that goes on for hours. Overall I can't help but feel that this was a missed opportunity, there were some powerful and well directed scenes that could of made this a classic western, a western that sticks to a powerful story and challenges morals and ethics, but no it's another way for Disney and Johnny Depp to sell out again.

#7 The Hangover Part 3

Wow, because we definitely needed a third one. It seems a long time ago now that I could confidently say I was a fan of The Hangover series, and I was, the first installment was a groundbreaking comedy that provided a good set of laughs, the second was disappointing but still contained some genuinely funny moments, but then we get to the third, pointless edition that even Barrack Obama has criticized. Not only would I not class this as a film in the Hangover series but I wouldn't class this as a comedy film. The number of scenes that are genuinely funny are very little and the plot takes on a strange dark premise that offers zero laughs, I mean I always though the second was just a cash strapped rip off but that has nothing on this.

I do think part of the problem is the switch to a more mature audience which hasn't exactly worked, the jokes are now borderline offensive and where there was a more suggestive undertone to the prequels there isn't in this, it just willingly shows the audience a Giraffe being beheaded. In fact for the majority of the film it feels more like an action film than an actual comedy, and not a good action film either. Why did they even bother, oh yes to make a ton of money off of morons, and unfortunately that worked. 

#6 The Smurfs 2

I suppose it doesn't help that I've never been a fan of The Smurfs, they're just annoying blue things that use the word smurf far too many times. But maybe that's just me, maybe small children love this film, I think that's who it caters for with terrible jokes and a reliance on poorly executed slapstick comedy, but it still doesn't make it a goof film. Basically everything that could possibly go wrong with an animated film has done so here. The storyline is terrible and not remotely interesting or humorous, the characters are the usual range of dullness and the pacing is so poor that it makes the film an effort to watch. I don't get it, but then maybe that's because I'm not six anymore

#5 The Host

I can't exactly say my expectations were very high for this, I mean it's from the author of twilight, who has the writing talent of Katy Perry and so the plot will surely be horrendous, and it was to be honest. The storyline involves some stupid parasitic aliens that take control over another species, I know absolutely fascinating stuff, but there was some genuine potential for a good story to be told out of them, but there never was. The actual hosts are never really explained at all which makes the plot incredibly boring and almost pointless. The other dreadful thing about this film is the dialogue, which is laughably bad and isn't helped by the fact that the actors appear to be portraying cardboard cutouts of their characters who are just the usual bunch of Twilight based soppy romantics.

The reason I probably hate this so much is that it feels like a Twilight film, and that really isn't good, especially the crappy teen romance part that not only makes me want to throw up but also ram my head into a bacon slicer, it really is that cringeworthy and unoriginal, still better than Twilight. 

#4 Grown Ups 2

How do you take some funny people, a good prequel and ruin it, with Grown Ups 2 of course. I thought the first film was quite funny, sure it was nowhere near the best comedy I'd ever seen but it did have some laugh out loud moments, this doesn't, I mean the critics hated the first one but this took home countless worst movie of the year awards, which I think is a bit harsh hence why it is only number 4 on my list, but don't get me wrong, it's terrible. Again there are certainly funny moments to this film, but they are definitely few and far between and the majority of gags miss the mark like a stormtrooper. It's fair to say you spend the majority of the viewing rolling your eyes rather than actually laughing.

If anything I'm more annoyed about this film rather than disappointed, I mean I sort of expected it was going to be terrible after watching the prequel, but with the star talent that is on display I expected a barrel of laughs and at least a half decent film. This film however has virtually no plot, no seriously it's just some grown men cocking around, and it ends up playing like an amateur production of Saturday Night Live, seriously though Chris Rock is one of my favorite comedians and so to see him stoop to these lows is downright insulting. Just a pathetic effort from a pathetic excuse of a film.  

#3 Battle of The Year

Hooray it's my favorite movie genre of all time, the random dancing to a storyline that has a total number of good films at zero. All you need to know about this version, as they're all practically the same thing, is that Chris Brown stars in it, oh good, although I did think his battle of the year was against Rihanna, in any case his inclusion looks very promising, ha. This dance film of course has a very stupid and pointless plot attached to it that involves finding an American dream team, because 'murica. In the end they hilariously loose to the birthplace of urban dancing, South Korea, in an epic battle of Rocky proportions, but loose by just the one point cliche.

Not really much else to say about this, it's just another crappy dance film with terrible dancing, storyline and music. No wonder it flopped.

#2 One Direction: This Is Us

This actually featured on my top 10 worst films of all time, that was before I discovered something even worse, but to be fair to these annoying twats they haven't been that unbearable this year, their music is still shit and the height of laziness but at least they're not behaving like another annoying twat whose been hitting the headlines all year. Although when I say they haven't been unbearable I mean they weren't until I saw this pile of shit. I have seen many concert films in my time and not one of them felt as artificial or commercialised as this.

Basically all the film consists of is them pratting around and claiming they're a serious boy band that don't conform to the stereotypes. This is of course bollocks and that is something only mindless morons will believe, or as those mindless morons are usually called, directioners. If you want to see why I hate this so much then I suggest you read my worst films of all time list, but for now all I will say is thanks a fucking bunch Simon Cowell.

#1 After Earth

This film is just wrong on every single level. I'll start by moaning about the utterly hopeless and unoriginal plot that seems to be a cross between Planet of The Apes and any generic Sci-fi action flick that has to be repeatedly explained to you every step of the way. The creative budget on this film was spent on an alien species that smell you through pheromones, so they literally smell your fear, ha great joke their. This means of course you need to be emotionless to become the perfect hunter, something that Jaden Smith takes up very well indeed, even if he wasn't supposed to.

Jaden Smith is quite possibly one of my least favorite people in the world, all his fame comes from the fact he has a celebrity dad, and so I don't appreciate Will Smith trying to shove him in people's faces trying to get them to like him, because the truth is that he's a talentless twat. You know I wouldn't mind it if he did it once and realised his mistake, but no, we have Pursuit of Happiness which I personally didn't like, and then his even less talented daughter releases one of the worst songs ever made. Jaden Smith is just awful in this film, he takes to the role like a fish out of water and has the acting skills of a shed, all this from the main bloody character. He's meant to play the role of an innocent kid, but of course he comes across as a spoiled, talentless twat.

The whole thing plays out quite like a badly written video game, it's like a really boring level of Donkey Kong, except let's face it Donkey Kong can act better. The film shoots itself in the foot before it even finishes because of an unimaginative and dull premise that encourages terrible acting so all we get in the end is a film that has to hold your hand through what is a very dull and unoriginal plot, as a fan of the Sci-fi genre I am deeply offended by this piece of garbage.

Music Review: Dark Horse

Katy Perry - Dark Horse

This is a song I've meant to review for a long time now but keep forgetting too, which I probably shouldn't as it has been probably the biggest musical release of the year so far. Now as a sensible human being I would expect the song Dark Horse to be attributed to the popular saying that means somebody unexpectedly wins because little is known about them before hand. However, according to Katy Perry, who isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, it is about a witch warning a man not to fall in love with her, not sure why you would do that but still, nothing to do with being a dark horse. Apparently the inspiration for the song came from a 1996 film called The Craft, which looks just as bad as its name, and so the subject of the song probably isn't great. Katy Perry also enlisted the help of rapper Juicy J, who I can't take seriously because he sounds like a soft drink for kids, she did this because she wanted the sounds of pop music and hip hop to juxtapose each other, which they don't really, in fact they're very commonly used together. To be fair to Juicy though he did work with Katy for probably my favorite reason ever, her "very professional" work ethic. Because flashing your tits at every available opportunity, kissing girls and singing about genitalia is a very professional work ethic.

Now it seems to me that this song is one that relies on looks rather than quality to succeed, hence the lavish art on the cover, which I will admit looks very nice, it also has a very complex video, which I assume is there to distract morons from the fact that this song might be quite bad. The video is set in Memphis, Egypt, which coincidentally is where Juicy J is from, except he's from the American city, wow just stop it. I think this video thinks it's a lot cleverer than it actually is, in fact the video has a whiff of Prince of Persia about it. This would be fine if they actually bothered to stick to theme and not bring out a tray of fucking twinkies, although to be fair twinkies are delicious, but famously not from Ancient Egypt. This is something which so called Egyptologists missed as they praised it for its portrayal of Egyptian culture. In fact Professor of Egyptology for the University of Chicago Robert K. Ritner said "Whoever put this together actually knew something about the myth of Cleopatra". Yes, the famous myth that Cleopatra loved American snack foods and had them imported from 2000 years in the future.

Unfortunately I have to admit that the hip hop, synthpop combination soundtrack is actually not that bad, it really does sound alright, definitely different from the more generic Katy we're use to seeing, dare I say original. I also like the fact that there isn't a proper chorus to this song, it just simply doesn't need one, the well paced lyrics and sound are a pleasant surprise and amazingly Katy's voice actually seems suited to this genre which carries the song along nicely. This is of course until we get to the rap portion, I mean Juicy J is not needed as he adds absolutely nothing to the song, he raps about meaningless bullshit and ruins any sort of pacing or momentum the song previously had, and to be fair it wasn't going to badly. I just don't get why modern artists seem to team up together, I can understand maybe for a duet but Juicy J's performance in this is a joke. There is also another huge problem, and these are the lyrics, let's take a look:

We begin of course with the traditional pre-song shoutout, which I have previously slated, but for the record I know who's in the song I'm listening to, you don't have to tell me again. God imagine if the So Solid Crew did a shoutout before their songs.

I knew you were
You were gonna come to me

There we go the song has become pointless in two lines, that must be a new record. If Katy Perry knew he was going to come to her then that doesn't make anyone a dark horse, remember that's an unexpected victor. I genuinely can't believe these lyrics, did nobody think this through. Thanks to this the rest of the song could be gibberish and the song would still carry the same message, oh dear.

And here you are
But you better choose carefully
'Cause I’m capable of anything
Of anything and everything

Well it seems my input in this is now as pointless as the actual song, but I do have a feeling this is turning into another song about the various boyfriend trouble Katy has been having recently and it's going to be a breakup story from a stereotypical feminist point of view. I do like the idea of Katy being capable of anything, although I bet her tone will change after hearing my twisted fantasies.

  Make me your Aphrodite
Make me your one and only
But don’t make me your enemy, your enemy, your enemy

Oh and here's another continuity error, as if it needed to get any worse. Aphrodite is the Greek god of love, that's the Greek god, not the Egyptian. I would be okay if it was Venus, who is the Roman equivalent, but Greek religion never had any influence on ancient Egypt and so this is another pointless line from a completely pointless song. Although Aphrodite does end up marrying Hephaestus, who was extremely ugly, so there's hope for me yet.

So you wanna play with magic
Boy, you should know whatcha falling for
Baby do you dare to do this
'Cause I’m coming atcha like a dark horse

You're not a dark horse though are you, you've just said so literally a minute ago, so actually I might be falling for a bit of a hypocrite, and since when have you considered yourself a dark horse, have you been on a thing called the internet, it's just full of fat sweaty men and hormonal teenagers dribbling all over you, me included.

Are you ready for, ready for
A perfect storm, a perfect storm
'Cause once you’re mine, once you’re mine
There’s no going back

Wow, I guess divorce papers are out of the question, unless maybe you're in a relationship with Steven Hawking then I would understand. I still don't understand the video either because she doesn't even give these men a chance, she just destroys them like the temperamental bitch she is.

Mark my words
This love will make you levitate
Like a bird
Like a bird without a cage
But down to earth
If you choose to walk away, don’t walk away

Since when have birds levitated, I believe it's most commonly referred to as flying. I'm also pretty sure there are 5 million references to Russel Brand in here as well, but I really couldn't care less about him, he just annoys me, although splitting up with Katy Perry did him quite a few favors.

It’s in the palm of your hand now baby
It’s a yes or no, no maybe
So just be sure before you give it up to me
Up to me, give it up to me 

This pretty much just mirrors the first verse which means this song hasn't progressed at all, just repeating the same points over and over again. But it's okay because here's Juicy J to shed some light on the situation.

She’s a beast
I call her Karma
She eat your heart out
Like Jeffrey Dahmer
Be careful
Try not to lead her on
Shawty’s heart was on steroids
'Cause her love was so strong 

Oh no wait he adds absolutely nothing to the song. Jeffrey Dahmer, or the Milwaukee Monster as he is more commonly known, is a completely unnecessary reference, and possibly a touch distasteful seeing as he murdered 17 boys, had sex with them and then preserved their body parts in a tank of acid where he would occasionally eat them, couple this with the fact that he's not Egyptian and you have a brilliant reference. This segment just generally has no meaning at all, it just seems to be random lines that emphasize what we already know. Thanks Juicy J, you really deserved that number one.

  You may fall in love
When you meet her
If you get the chance you better keep her
She swears by it but if you break her heart
She turn cold as a freezer
That fairy tale ending with a knight in shining armor
She can be my Sleeping Beauty
I’m gon’ put her in a coma

Cold as a freezer, if only the ancient Egyptians knew about those, to be fair that's probably why they haven't got the message yet, because they don't understand any of the metaphors, and this must be continuity error number 546. I also think he's got the charming story of Sleeping Beauty mixed up with being a misogynist as the knight in shining armor took Sleeping Beauty out of her coma, and has he not listened to a word he literally just said, stop trying to fall in love with her.

Woo! Damn I think I love her
Shawty so bad
I’m sprung and I don’t care
She got me like a roller coaster
Turn the bedroom into a fair
Her love is like a drug
I was tryna hit it and quit it
But lil’ mama so dope
I messed around and got addicted 

Again, the ancient Egyptians don't know what a roller coaster is, fuck sake what's the point in trying. The lyrics to this song don't make any sense and are rendered utterly pointless by the first freaking line, the references are terrible and there appears to be zero thought put into it as well, if you're going to put a theme throughout the song then you bloody well stick to it. Not that a theme did this song much good, the lyrics are so generic and basic that you could attach this to anything and it would still make perfect sense.

Marc Hogan of spin.com said:

"The lyrics are every bit the cliché salad of her October 18 album Prism's previous single "Roar" — "So you wanna play with magic? ... Are you ready for a perfect storm?" — but as with that song, it's an obvious hit, with the soaring hooks and sleekly sculpted production to rattle trunks just about anywhere".

At least I'm not the only one to spot the pointless and flawed lyrics, although to be fair I do think they're better than Roar, Roar was just terrible. However, as he quite rightly points out it is a well produced and very catchy song.

B.J Warner commented on Amazon:

"This is my favourite ( and in my opinion best ) Katy Perry track. The video has an Egyptian theme which suits it well as the track itself has a different " other wordly" feel. Obviously a great tune, great lyrics and a powerful hook. As the song says. " do you want to play with magic?" and "I am coming to get you - like a dark horse" 

Well it definitely isn't the worst Katy Perry track, so I guess you could say it is one of her best, not that that is very difficult, I'm pretty sure The Macarena has more meaning than the majority of Katy Perry songs. I've already explained why the Egyptian theme doesn't work, something to do with a small issue over continuity. I don't know how Egyptian theme is an other worldly feel, maybe it's based on the ancient Egyptian civilization that inhabited The Moon, and of course the lyrics are definitely not great and she's not a dark horse in any way.

In conclusion I feel a little bit let down by this song, for once a Katy Perry song wasn't bland and was paced quite nicely, it actually sounded original. But unfortunately no thought was put into anything else and so we get pointless and flawed lyrics and a theme that doesn't fit. Juicy J's contribution is very limited and he adds absolutely nothing, not that it would matter to a song that was doomed to begin with.

Final Score: 3/10    *1/2

Music Review: #Selfie

The Chainsmokers - #Selfie

Usually in these reviews I like to reserve my judgment for a later stage, but I don't think there's any point with this. This thing is quite simply an abomination, the fact that this gained popularity enrages me and if this is the future of music then I might as well pull the trigger this very second. This, well it isn't even a song is it, thing was composed in the fiery bowels of hell or as it is more commonly known American DJ duo The Chainsmokers, who I can only hope live up to their name and die a very painful death in the near future whilst I run over them with a steamroller. This thing is everything I hate about the current music scene, a hashtag in front of the title and a blatant cash in on a current trend that will make for a truly terrible song. The video is the predictable crap with a pointless cameo for David Hasselhoff. I mean I always thought The Hoff was a bit mental, especially when he started talking to his own car, but what possessed him to appear in this is beyond me, the song has nothing to do with him and his appearance is completely pointless.

I would like to review the actual song at this point, but there just isn't one, don't get me wrong I appreciate a well made dance track but this is just dreadful, it's just a generic beat with a few annoying noises thrown in. The only vocals come from some annoying bitch just peaking over the top of the generic soundtrack with annoying and painful lines that make me think Adolf Hitler was a good man. The song deals with cutting edge topics such as relationships and presents them in a very intriguing way, and when I say intriguing I mean utter shite, rarely do you see words presented in such a terrible fashion. Although it annoys me I can't criticise too much as this song was never meant to be taken seriously and it is just there for commercial success, but that still doesn't excuse the diabolical presentation. I do also think the song solely exists to satirise girls that do this, but it's done in such a terrible manner that I really can't tell, surely this can't have a serious message in it. Ah hell let's look at the words:

When James was at the table
I kept on seeing him look at me while he was with that other girl
Do you think he was just doing that to make me jealous?
Because he was totally texting me all night last night
And I don't know if it's a booty call or not

Ah yes I recognise this, this is one of the great works of Shakespeare, the James they're referring to is James Gascoyne-Cecil, 4th Marquess of Salisbury, although that maybe only my interpretation of the song and it may just be generic douchebag #412. My other interpretation is that this is a load of bollocks, to be honest it probably is the second explanation.

So, what, what do you think?
Did, did you think that girl was pretty?
How did that girl even get in here?
Do you see her?

Oh now she's developed a stutter, brilliant, she can't even fucking talk yet alone sing. This is quite frankly the most pathetic use of a rhetorical question I have ever seen, just take your fucking selfie and fuck off.

She is so short and that dress is so tacky
Who wears cheetah?
It's not even summer
Why does the DJ keep on playing "Summertime Sadness"?
After we go to the bathroom, can we go smoke a cigarette?
I really need one

Interesting, I've never been to a club that has seasons, this must be a new thing, I mean in my funny little world I thought it was the same temperature in a club all year round, but maybe that's just me. Summertime Sadness is a Lana Del Ray song that I might decide to give a review in the near future, but as long as the DJ doesn't play this then he's in my good books. Wait, what's this, she's smoking tobacco, oh we are dealing with serious themes here, go on do it inside you little rebel, that will tell Margaret Thatcher.

But first, let me take a selfie

No, fuck off.

Can you guys help me pick a filter?
I don't know if I should go XXpro or Valencia
I want to look tan
What should my caption be?
I want it to be clever
How about "Living with my bitches, #live"?
I only got ten likes in the last five minutes
Do you think I should take it down?
Let me take another selfie

This song can't be real, but it's presented in a serious manner, I don't know whether to laugh or cry or hold my head in my hands, just why?

Selfie, selfie
Let me take a selfie  

No. Fuck off.

Wait, pause
Jason just liked my selfie
What a creep
Is that guy sleeping over there?

 Seriously, who cares?

Yeah, the one next to the girl with no shoes on
That's so ratchet
That girl is such a fake model
She definitely bought all her Instagram followers
Who goes out on Mondays?

Wait, how do you know this person has Instagram? You've just spotted her and instantly know everything about her, Jesus Christ I never claimed this song was well written, but they could of at least put some effort into it.

Okay, let's go take some shots
Oh no, I feel like I'm gonna throw up
Oh wait, nevermind, I'm fine, let's go dance
There's no vodka at this table
Do you know anyone else here?
Oh my god, Jason just texted me
Should I go home with him?
I guess I took a good selfie
Selfie 

Here's an idea, why don't you stop asking stupid and pointless questions, take your fucking pathetic cry for attention in the form of a picture and just fuck off so I don't have to hear your annoying voice anymore. The lyrics just sum up the song in a a nutshell. Incredibly annoying and absolutely terrible in every single way.

For once the critics actually agree with me, the Chicago Reader said:

"The song itself is garbage, paint-by-numbers EDM with all the artistic flavor of an audio software preset that makes "Harlem Shake" sound like Selected Ambient Works Volume II".

Couldn't of put it better myself.

Someone named Charlie actually enjoyed it and his review on Amazon stated:

"Yea great track, quite amusing really and a great beat! Love the fact that Amazon are truly competing with itunes now and I don't have to change file from mp4 to mp3. Bosch!"

Well if this is people's idea of comedy gold then we may as well just all kill ourselves now, this song is in no way amusing, just very irritating. The beat is very generic and too becomes incredibly annoying, but then what would you expect from a person who finds it fascinating what format the bloody download comes in.

Overall this might be one of the worst things I have ever heard in my life, it's up their with Piers Morgan's Life Stories. How people are referring to this as an actual sophisticated song is beyond me, as it's just a few annoying sound effects mangled together in a very dull way. If this is the future of music then humanity is completely screwed, especially if they can't tell this is a terrible cash in.

Final Score: -18662/10 

To regain the faith I have left in humanity here is a brilliantly composed song on the very serious message of euthanasia, see if you can hear the difference and appreciate good music.