Music Review: West Coast

Lana Del Rey - West Coast

Ah Lana Del Rey, I really don't get the hype over her, liking her is like preferring Spam from real meat, it's not terrible but it's so obviously processed that you can't help but liking something with a lot more flavor. I mean look at that cover, it just looks like an ironing board with a face drawn on it. This song is the lead single for her new album, Ultraviolence, which is an interesting name, probably because Lana Del Rey and violence are almost synonymous, apart from in every single way. The single was first heard at the Coachella Valley Music Festival, which is famous for booking bands that are of no interest to me at all, she then first played the single on Radio 1, and in the immortal words of Simon Amstell, "Fearne Cotton was there, like she always fucking is". 

The song takes the form of a ballad and was described by Lana herself as "A little more stripped down but still cinematic and dark" which sounds like just the sort of song for me, usually when I hear the words stripped down to describe music it usually just means it's been badly produced and rushed. The producer himself is Dan Auerbach, most famously of The Black Keys, and while he's a talented musician his talent has never really run into his career as a producer, the songs he's produced are hardly fantastic. The lyrics are written by somebody else, which is just uncreative and lazy, that person is the very experienced Rick Nowels, who has written a catalogue of crap in his extensive career, there is the odd good song but that's overshadowed by some absolutely terrible hits. What I'm trying to say is that it really doesn't look very promising.

I have to be honest and say that I don't like it very much, to me it just sounds like a half assed psychedelic infused ballad with Lana Del Ray sounding out of breath and quite frankly very annoying. I thought the West Coast was meant to be bright and vibrant but this song just mopes along at 2 mph and displays no character at all. One thing I will give it credit for is that it's definitely unique, not that that is a good thing, it never wants to stick to one genre and the tone keeps changing with every verse. It almost seems that the song tries too much too quickly, but in the end we get a song that really is very dull. The problem may come from this 'stripped down' approach that means we get this one solitary guitar trying to carry the whole song, accompanied by only a few annoying noises, this just doesn't work and we end up with a poorly paced and executed song. Let's hope the lyrics actually mean something:

Down on the West Coast, they got a saying
If you're not drinking, then you're not playing
But you've got the music, you've got the music in you, don't you?

Hmm, I'm not sure the West Coast does have that saying, I'm pretty sure you just made that up, there certainly isn't any reference to it anywhere on the internet, it probably means the whole premise behind the song is completely pointless. There's also a large Middle Eastern community on the West Coast and so I personally think that not drinking saying is flawed, and possibly slightly racist, as Muslims can't drink alcohol, so it's highly unlikely that that is a local saying. If Lana can't even make up her own sayings then that really does worry me. It's also not a very good message to carry in a song, neither is a rhetorical question, I will never understand their place in a song.

Down on the West Coast, I get this feeling like it all could happen
That's why I'm leaving you for the moment, you for the moment

Oh, okay, seems a shallow and stupid reason to leave somebody, but it's your relationship not mine. 

It's getting harder to show it
I'm feeling hot to the touch
You say you miss me
And I always say I miss you so much
But something keeps me really quiet
I’m alive, I’m a lush
Your love, your love, your love

I get that it's nice weather on the West Coast but you're not feeling it, if that's really why this song is called West Coast then I give up, terrible metaphor.

I can see my baby swinging
His parliament is on fire when his hands are up
On the balcony and I'm singing
Ooh baby, ooh baby, I'm in love
I can see my sweet boy swinging
He's crazy and Cubano call my only love
On the balcony and I'm singing
Move baby, move baby, I’m in love
I’m in love

Wow, this man is so crazy that he's lit up a cigarette, at least I think that's what she means by a Parliament, and waving his hands around in excitement, not sure why you need to be on the West Coast for this, I believe this is a common activity in rain trodden South London. Wait, what, you say you're in love, but back in the first verse you weren't, that doesn't make any sense.

  
Down on the west coast, they got their icons
Their silver startlets, their Queens of Saigon
And you got the music, you got the music in you, don't you?

Yes I get it, the West Coast is nice, now sing about something else. I also wouldn't like to tell her that Saigon was in Vietnam but isn't there anymore, maybe she's saying that the women of the West Coast are queens that rule over nothing, that there is the American Dream for you in a nutshell.

Down on the west coast, they love their movies
Their golden cars and rock-n-roll groupies
And you got the music, you got the music in you, don't you?

I've stopped caring about the fucking West Coast now, it's just annoying me. I don't care if they like movies, I really don't, this song is just a fucking holiday advertisement.

You push it hard I pull away
I’m feeling hotter than fire
I guess I know and how to be and make it feel I’m a child
Didn’t say you gotta know, boy it's you I desire
Your love, your love, your love

No innuendo there at all, and we finally find out she does love him and it's only taken us a few pointless minutes. This song has come a fucking long way for us to finally realise something she stated about five lines in, as you can see it hasn't gone anywhere. So unfortunately the meaningless and bland lyrics are also terrible, oh dear.

Overall this song just seems like a really badly made holiday advert, she makes up the majority of the lyrics and the rest of the song is just pointless drivel that adds absolutely nothing. No matter how hard she tries, this 'stripped out' technique just doesn't work and in the end it just makes a really emotionless and dull song, thumbs down from me.

Final Score: 2/10    *